mirror of https://github.com/nealey/Horrors2
Fix most overfull hboxes
This commit is contained in:
cruft
parent
3d3faa8f4c
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@ -1,4 +1,4 @@
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\documentclass[draft]{book}
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\documentclass[draft,10pt]{book}
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\usepackage[papersize={397pt,614pt}]{geometry}
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\usepackage[T1]{fontenc}
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@ -11,6 +11,13 @@
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\title{Horrors 2: Clever Title Here}
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\author{The Something Awful Forums}
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\hyphenation{
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Ba-var-ious
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Ba-var-ius
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hid-eous
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mos-qui-toes
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}
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% For specifying author
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\newcommand{\by}[1]{
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\vspace{-20pt}
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@ -53,7 +53,7 @@ beast.
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Not deterred by this horrendous creature, Bavarious screamed at the
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Not to be deterred by this horrendous creature, Bavarious screamed at the
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top of his lungs, ``{\bf Evil-doer! Villain! You do not frighten
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me!}'' As he screamed, flecks of spittle mixed with the
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still-running blood from his broken nose, only attracting the giant
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@ -68,7 +68,7 @@ floor.
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I screamed and began to run away from him. He waved his hand high
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in the air and screamed after me.
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``Bavarious, give me your gun and your badge, you drunken fool!'' He
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``Bavarious, give me your gun and badge, you drunken fool!'' He
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screamed.
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``McClenaghaaaaaan!'' I screamed right back at him.
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@ -92,9 +92,9 @@ screamed out in dying death forever. The head doppelganger screamed
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as all the blood and pus and bones exploded out of him like in a
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Mortal Kombat fatality.
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``Another day another time the earth was saved from
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dopplegangers by Luke Bavarious'' said Luke Bavarious as he
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walked away in slow motion. Behind him, the factory exploded.
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``Another day, another time the earth is saved from dopplegangers by
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Luke Bavarious,'' said Luke Bavarious, walking away in slow
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motion. Behind him, the factory exploded.
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@ -5,7 +5,7 @@
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The horrid, crushing sound of a gushing river broke through Luke
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\noindent The horrid, crushing sound of a gushing river broke through Luke
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Bavarius's rushing mind. He had awoken from a deep sleep to the
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sound. The horrid sound. He had a hangover from too many Coors, and
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it was driving him mad. Ever since the alley, where the ghoul had
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@ -15,7 +15,7 @@ Nothing.
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With a sigh that poured from his mouth with a torrent of non-amused
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frustration
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Luke Bavarious pulled a small slip of paper from his pocket and
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Luke Bavarious pulled a small slip of paper from his pock\-et and
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wadded it up and tossed it into the waste receptacle with the
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precision of a black man that shoots basketball in a Lakers jersey.
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As a fan of black culture Bavarious was known for his hoop skills.
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@ -1,5 +1,5 @@
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\chapter{The Horrid Assignment}
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\by{Dr.~Mulholland}
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\by{Dr.\ Mulholland}
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@ -114,7 +114,7 @@ green cut grass.
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Bavarious woke up. He had fallen asleep. He had dreamed of what
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Bavarious woke up; he had fallen asleep. He had dreamed of what
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happened in the mob bosses house 50 years ago. Then he realized. He
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was the kid of his dreams. Bavarious let out a scream and turned
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and ran and went out the front door. He tried to open the door on
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@ -26,7 +26,7 @@ in person? No? Could you put that down Bic pen already? You know
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the clicking, and all. I get skittish, too. Honestly it's
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alright.
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You DO seem horribly tense. I am not, let me assure you, Mr. Ehl
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You {\em do} seem horribly tense. I am not, let me assure you, Mr. Ehl
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Bee. There is no need to go all star struck on me. I am as much of
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a nobody as you are, probably more of a nobody.
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@ -162,8 +162,8 @@ function back in those days.
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Well it started out as a sort of joke, you know.
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Don't-You-Drink-Too-Much-Sweetie-Or-You'll-Get-Us-Mixed
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up. Shits and giggles and lots of fun at parties with my Dad and
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``Don't you drink too much, sweetie, or you'll get us mixed
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up''. Shits and giggles and lots of fun at parties with my Dad and
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his brother showing up in identical suits and my mom pretending to
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accidentally kiss the wrong clone et cetera.
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@ -385,7 +385,7 @@ fucking profile.
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I don't even fucking care. You think I haven't told
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this story? Who {\em told} you this story? Was it Luke? Mr. Ehl
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Bee, mr. Writing-under-a-Pseudonym-to-be-artsy-Biddick, with his
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Bee, Mr.\ Writing-under-a-Pseudonym-to-be-artsy-Biddick, with his
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prodigious talent and his intense, {\em fucking} eyebrows that he
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probably picks like a bitch? Was it? It wasn't. It was me. I
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want you to stand up, walk over to that bookshelf right there. Go
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@ -20,7 +20,7 @@ it.
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Lurking about the corners. Hiding in the shadows. She thought it
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was her imagination. She thought she had been going insane. They
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said you showed the first signs of schizophrenia when you became a
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said you showed the first signs of schi\-zo\-phre\-nia when you became a
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teenager. But then, it must have slipped up, for she had seen it
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squarely, with both eyes. What's more, it knew.
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@ -48,7 +48,7 @@ find out.
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How she had wished she had paid better attention! Though even if
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How she wished she had paid better attention! Though even if
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she had spotted the creature earlier she would not have known how
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to defend herself against it. It had been following her for weeks
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though. Weeks in which some shadowy thing had been watching her,
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@ -135,7 +135,7 @@ younger.
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``Oh,'' he said, rising from his coffin. ``You mean
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``Oh,'' he said, rising from his coffin, ``you mean
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the traitor.''
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@ -52,7 +52,7 @@ begins to wear off. I grit my teeth to keep the cascade of bloody
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lung chunks at bay. Looking up after containing myself I see a ring
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of children.
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The child I was following is being welcomed into the group. I
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The child I am following is being welcomed into the group. I
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notice at this stage the the children are just rotting husks in
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varying states of decay. They begin moving in a kind of reverie
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cadence. Mesmerised, I pull myself up from the stump that I had
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@ -31,9 +31,7 @@ what he could do.
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He ran into Suzy, his sister, she teased him and called him a
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pussy. {\em She called me a cat that's not insulting why would she
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call me
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a cat?} thought Luke.
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call me a cat?} thought Luke.
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@ -1,4 +1,4 @@
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\chapter{It's just me, 'Luke'}
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\chapter{It's just me, `Luke'}
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\by{Lorentz Factor}
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@ -215,7 +215,7 @@ precious grey matter and I squeezed.
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The round screamed through my head and smashed through my
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The round screamed through my head, smashing through my
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skull.
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@ -77,40 +77,27 @@ dangerous missions. I howled into the night:
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{\em ``Pump up the jam
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Pump it up
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\begin{quote}
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Pump up the jam \\
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Pump it up \\
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A pump it up - yo pump it
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Pump up the jam
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Pump it up
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Pump up the jam \\
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Pump it up \\
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A pump it up - yo pump it
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I don't want
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A place to stay
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Get - your booty - on the floor tonight
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I don't want \\
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A place to stay \\
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Get --- your booty --- on the floor tonight \\
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Make my day
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I don't want \\
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A place to stay \\
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Get --- your booty --- on the floor tonight \\
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Make my ---
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\end{quote}
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I don't want
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A place to stay
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Get - your booty - on the floor tonight
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Make my -}
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A kid stepped out onto the path. His clothes were in tatters and he
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@ -141,7 +128,7 @@ this unexpected ordeal and continued on my way.
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At the Seaport, an eerie quiet abounded. One boat had some lights
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on but it was offshore. I rappelled down the Brooklyn Bridge and
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back-flipped onto the deck. I lay crouched for a few minutes, my
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back-flipped onto the deck. I lay there crouched for a few minutes, my
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duster billowing in the wind, eyes scanning the deck for
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movement.
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@ -66,11 +66,11 @@ no lips, only teeth. I shook.
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``Daddy, what are you doing?'' the shadow on the right enquired
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meekly. Sasha?
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``Daddy{\ldots}daddy's going away for a while,'' I whispered. The knife
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``Daddy{\ldots} daddy's going away for a while,'' I whispered. The knife
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was still in my hand, in front of my chest, frozen in place.
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``Look{\ldots}daddy can't be with you guys for very long anymore. I won't
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be alive for long{\ldots}I must go.''
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``Look{\ldots} daddy can't be with you guys for very long anymore. I won't
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be alive for long{\ldots} I must go.''
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``But you can't go, Daddy.'' The silhouette on the left was still
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smiling, the white of his teeth glowing eerily in the darkness. ``If
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@ -78,11 +78,11 @@ you go{\ldots}I'll eat Sasha.'' The teeth spread to a grin.
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``Johnny{\ldots}'' I gasped. As I looked on, Johnny's grin seemed to grow
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wider and wider. The rows of teeth separated to form a hole between
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``Johnny,'' I gasped. As I looked on, Johnny's grin seemed to
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grow wider and wider. The rows of teeth separated to form a hole between
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them, and the hole widened to a yawning chasm of unfathomable
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darkness. A different voice emanated from the hole. ``Daddy,'' it
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drawled. ``If you go{\ldots}I'll eat Sasha.''
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drawled. ``If you go{\ldots} I'll eat Sasha.''
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@ -92,7 +92,7 @@ as far apart as a basketball, face torn apart by a chasm.
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My vision blurred and it became increasingly difficult to breathe.
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The knife dropped from my hand. Between ragged breaths, I gasped
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weakly. ``Johnny{\ldots}you have your mother's smile.''
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weakly. ``Johnny{\ldots} you have your mother's smile.''
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@ -12,8 +12,8 @@ pet store at the end of the strip.
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Suddenly a little boy sitting on a mall bench yelled out. ``Hey
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mister! I don't think you should go in there,'' he hollered.
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Suddenly a little boy sitting on a mall bench hollered out. ``Hey
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mister! I don't think you should go in there,'' he yelled.
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@ -68,7 +68,7 @@ here{\ldots}
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``Mr. Bravarious, I can barely hear you through the speaker.
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``Mr. Bravarious, I can just barely hear you through the speaker.
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Why don't you come down and talk to me through the bars?
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I'd like to talk man to man anyway.''
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@ -16,7 +16,7 @@ murdered in the house. It was a horrid house.
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The book had leathery bindings and a feint smell of some
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body-emitted liquid he couldn't quite recall. He thought briefly of
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body-emitted liquid that he couldn't quite recall. He thought briefly of
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pus or urine but decided that wasn't quite it. He then remembered
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that he was angry. He angrily threw open the cover and looked at
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the writing. It was in Latin so entirely hieroglyphic, but he saw
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@ -1,4 +1,4 @@
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\chapter{Reunion Under a Blood Red Moon}
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\chapter[Reunion]{Reunion Under a Blood Red Moon}
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\by{Sleepless Dreamer}
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@ -106,17 +106,3 @@ disappear.''
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Luke smiled and said to no one in particular: ``Psychiatrists,
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what do they know?''
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* * *
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I actually like the alternate ending more than the original one,
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however the alternate one is closer to what I usually write.
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Hopefully I managed to make something bad and good at the same
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time.
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@ -58,7 +58,7 @@ name anyhow mister?'' asked Luke.
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\section*{Chapter 2}
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The next morning, AC picked Luke up in his light blue 2003 Dodge
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Caravan. They whistled the theme song to ``The Adams
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Caravan. They whistled the theme song to ``The Addams
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Family'' in perfect unison as they headed to the karate dojo
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to learn some much needed self defense.
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@ -99,7 +99,7 @@ Luke said.
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Their laughter echoed throughout the otherwise quiet
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Their laughter echoed through the otherwise quiet
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neighborhood.
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@ -17,7 +17,7 @@ humanly possible.
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{\em Who am I? Who amI? whoami?whoamiwhoam--}
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{\em Who am I? Who amI? whoami?whoamiwhoam---}
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@ -178,7 +178,7 @@ wordlessly at each other, then she utters a soft cry and flees back into
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the bathroom. I hear a soft click as she locks the door behind her.
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I sigh and walk over, knocking on the door. ``Mrs. McCannshire, I'm sorry
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about Jasper, okay? I shouldn't have\ldots done that, but he was, I mean he
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about Jasper, okay? I shouldn't have\ldots{} done that, but he was, I mean he
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was attacking me. There was nothing else I could do.''
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I continued to apologize while I listened to her sobs, trying to look
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@ -73,7 +73,7 @@ large tracks.
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Soon after this Brian started hearing noises from his closet again.
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Soon after this, Brian started hearing noises from his closet again.
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It was the same as before. All Brian could do was cower under the
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sheets until the morning light returned.
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@ -373,7 +373,7 @@ fear.
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I pointed at his dirty nut sack hanging from the bar. ``Fiend! You
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I pointed at his dirty nut sack hanging from the bar. ``You fiend! You
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almost crushed my ribs! You tried to dirty me with your geriatric
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filth!''
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@ -10,7 +10,7 @@ to the center of the field. Looking out, he knew he had a long way
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to go. His revolver sat snuggly in his jean pockets. He wasn't
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afraid to use it if he was heard.
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Luke's sneakers sunk into the moist soil, as he crept through the
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Luke's white sneakers sunk into the moist soil, as he crept through the
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corn field. He knew something was up. The full moon shined brightly
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into the center of the corn field. In the center of the field stood
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a mounted scarecrow. Its eyes beamed like an illuminating light,
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@ -17,8 +17,8 @@ It's what I do. My name is Luke Bavarious; hitman, soldier,
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I had been called to this sweaty place, Arabia, to kill some guys.
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This was an honorable job, a soldier's mission. ``We need some guys
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killed so we called you'', they said on the phone. And here I was,
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in this God-forsaken hellhole, hunched over this screen, hoping for
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killed, so we called you'', they said on the phone. So here I was,
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in this Godforsaken hellhole, hunched over this screen, hoping for
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a morsel of communication from Home, something to feed my rotting
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brain, to let me know that there was a Reason To Fight, To
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Live.
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@ -1,4 +1,4 @@
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\chapter{The Unexpected Shocking Surprise}
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\chapter[The Surprise]{The Unexpected Shocking Surprise}
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\by{antiloquax}
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@ -43,10 +43,10 @@ Then he crept along the church.
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As he tiptoed quietly through the rotting, crumbling church, he saw
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that everything was black except for places that were illuminated
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by the pale blue light of the moon. It was a full moon. A full moon
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just like the night his father died.
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As he tiptoed quietly through the rotting and crumbling church, he saw
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that everything was black except for places that were illuminated by the
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pale blue light of the moon. It was a full moon. A full moon just like
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the night his father died.
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@ -70,7 +70,7 @@ crucifix with gore and rust colored blood.
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Luke Bavarious wanted to vomit, but not because of the head that
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Luke Bavarious wanted to vomit---not because of the head that
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had exploded and the brains that were on his clothes, but because
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he had finally killed the man who had killed his father. The man
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who had killed his father had never been caught.
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@ -2,7 +2,7 @@
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\by{benitocereno}
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Minutes later, to the sound of gunshots, Rogue Davix awoke from his
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Minutes later, to the sound of gunshots, Rogue Davix aw\-oke from his
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horrible dream. The lumps, all of the lumps, were nothing more than
|
||||
a satanic vision. The dreams were always the same. Aliens,
|
||||
darkness, another world. If he didn't have amnesia maybe he
|
||||
|
|
@ -59,13 +59,12 @@ defying the gods trying to keep him down.
|
|||
|
||||
|
||||
Luke was right, outside more sounds began to stir. The ghouls could
|
||||
smell the evil cocktail of blood and vomit through the broken
|
||||
window, and they were hungry. Luke handed Rogue his spare
|
||||
Beretta.
|
||||
smell the evil cocktail of blood and vomit wafting through the broken
|
||||
window, and they were hungry. Luke handed Rogue his spare Beretta.
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
``I hope you know how to use this thing,'' he snarled
|
||||
``I hope you know how to use this,'' he snarled
|
||||
through his clenched teeth. Rogue popped the safety off.
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
@ -62,7 +62,7 @@ be instantly caught by the keen eye of Bavarious.
|
|||
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
There was a knock at his bedroom door and then it opened. Luke
|
||||
There was a knock at his bedroom door, and it opened. Luke
|
||||
Bavarious stood there and he said, ``I'm sorry, Kid, what you're
|
||||
gotta live with is wrong. Just run back as quick as you can. Get in
|
||||
your chair and I'll come in a bit later to shake him out of it. I
|
||||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
@ -116,7 +116,7 @@ pick one out. This shit is expensive.
|
|||
|
||||
I raise the jewel encrusted ceremonial sacrificial dagger over
|
||||
Bill's body. His eyes widen in terror. It's the only movement he's
|
||||
capable of making, thanks to the knock-out/paralyzing toxic serum,
|
||||
capable of making, thanks to the knock-out / paralyzing toxic serum,
|
||||
which also wasn't cheap, by the way. I can't stress enough how much
|
||||
money this whole thing has set me back.
|
||||
|
||||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
@ -197,7 +197,7 @@ infinite silken darkness.
|
|||
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
But before the dissonance of that crazy awakening reaches its
|
||||
But before the dissonance of that crazy awakening rea\-ches its
|
||||
crescendo, I'm going to perform the one act remaining for me
|
||||
in this world.
|
||||
|
||||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
@ -7,7 +7,7 @@ he had never seen before. Looking at his leg he saw his leg hair
|
|||
barely coming in, because he was 8 years old and his age was
|
||||
between 5 and 10.
|
||||
|
||||
``Barney it's time to stop dreaming!'' Barney's father, Aragorn,
|
||||
``Barney it's time to stop dreaming!'' Barney's father, Ara\-gorn,
|
||||
laboriously squeaked.
|
||||
|
||||
And then he saw the rectangle that he would instantly recognize in
|
||||
|
|
@ -90,13 +90,8 @@ grandmother.
|
|||
And he realized he could not stop the cubes, that he too would be
|
||||
lost in the face of ev-
|
||||
|
||||
``BECAUSE I HAVE SEEN THE MOUNTAIN TOP AND UPON IS ARE
|
||||
RECTANGLES!''
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
edited because I can, and because I only want a few misspellings in
|
||||
my masterpiece.
|
||||
``{\bf Because I have seen the mountain top and upon is are
|
||||
rectangles}!''
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
@ -22,7 +22,7 @@ Earlier that day a local kid had tried to stop Luke.
|
|||
``Don't go to the haunted mansion. It's too
|
||||
dangerous. It kills people. It never loses.''
|
||||
|
||||
``I think I can handle myself, kid.'' Luke said,
|
||||
``I think I can handle myself, kid,'' Luke said,
|
||||
smirking.
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
|
|
@ -54,7 +54,7 @@ back to again cover the furniture.
|
|||
|
||||
|
||||
``Getting the treasure from this haunted mansion will be a
|
||||
breeze.'' Luke asserted, smirking.
|
||||
breeze,'' Luke asserted, smirking.
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
|
|
@ -62,7 +62,7 @@ The next room was a gigantic ball room with chandeliers and a
|
|||
wooden floor. One wall was covered in old oil paintings. The other
|
||||
wall was a gigantic window with giant red curtains. He could see
|
||||
the garden. The hedges looked ominous. ``Probably plant
|
||||
monsters.'' Luke murmured. He took a step into the room.
|
||||
monsters,'' Luke murmured. He took a step into the room.
|
||||
Suddenly, zombies were clawing their way out of the wooden floor.
|
||||
Their empty eye sockets were slick with green rot. It glinted
|
||||
sickly in the moon light. Luke's nostrils were attacked by
|
||||
|
|
@ -129,7 +129,7 @@ dissolving.
|
|||
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
``I'd better get out of here.'' Luke intoned,
|
||||
``I'd better get out of here,'' Luke intoned,
|
||||
smirking.
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
|
|
@ -150,7 +150,7 @@ appeared in front of him. It was the boy from before.
|
|||
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
``The mansion never loses.'' The boy said, watching Luke
|
||||
``The mansion never loses,'' the boy said, watching Luke
|
||||
fall.
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
|
|
@ -164,7 +164,7 @@ acid.
|
|||
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
``The mansion never loses.'' The boy repeated. He
|
||||
``The mansion never loses,'' the boy repeated. He
|
||||
smirked. Then he disappeared.
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
@ -36,7 +36,7 @@ teeth glowing like the moon.
|
|||
|
||||
Suddenly, it started raining. The sky vomited it's tears on
|
||||
Bavarius, thankfully he was wearing his hat. {\em Never leave home
|
||||
without}, Bavarius mused. It was coming down in sheets, like
|
||||
without it}, Bavarius mused. It was coming down in sheets, like
|
||||
cats and dogs, and it made everything slick --- except for
|
||||
Bavarius' vision, which was as sharp as ever.
|
||||
|
||||
|
|
@ -239,7 +239,7 @@ display.
|
|||
The bloody vomit creature spattered all over Bavarius's face and
|
||||
body. His white shirt was now rusty looking with blobs of trash
|
||||
sticking to it. Bavarius could taste it --- not just the
|
||||
creature'S gooey body but impending revenge.
|
||||
creature's gooey body but impending revenge.
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
|
|
@ -253,7 +253,7 @@ it up.
|
|||
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
Cocking his baretta, Bavarius stood and grinned. He knew what he
|
||||
Cocking his Baretta, Bavarius stood and grinned. He knew what he
|
||||
must do next. He knew it was going to be ugly. He took a nice long
|
||||
drag from his stale smoke and exhaled. He placed that loaded gun
|
||||
back into his rain soaked jacket pocket.
|
||||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
@ -16,7 +16,7 @@ stairs.
|
|||
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
It is there he witnessed a sight that made him vomit harder than he
|
||||
It is there that he witnessed a sight that made him vomit harder than he
|
||||
ever vomited before, a child who couldn't have been older
|
||||
than a year or six was being raped by what he could only describe
|
||||
as a extremely hairy ape.
|
||||
|
|
@ -39,8 +39,8 @@ lifeless corpse of a dead man.
|
|||
|
||||
A closer examination gave room for the ugly truth, the bullet form
|
||||
Luke's Beretta had penetrated the skull of the now lifeless
|
||||
corpse who Luke Bavarius recognized as Raymond Von Strathburgh an
|
||||
ultra conservative right wing Christian with a PHD in
|
||||
corpse that Luke Bavarius recognized as belonging to Raymond Von Strathburgh: an
|
||||
ultra-conservative right-wing Christian with a Ph.D.\ in
|
||||
Creationism.
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
|
|
@ -60,7 +60,7 @@ inducing crime' to live.
|
|||
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
Unwillingly Luke Bavarius raised his Beretta for the slaughter of
|
||||
Unwillingly Luke raised his Beretta for the slaughter of
|
||||
another innocent man, upon seeing Luke take aim the man froze with
|
||||
fear while simultaneously shitting and pissing his pants, the
|
||||
horror of the situation dawned upon Luke Bavarius as he decided to
|
||||
|
|
|
|||
Loading…
Reference in New Issue