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BirdZerk! 2009-07-09 11:26:44 -06:00
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257
part2.tex
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@ -1,13 +1,8 @@
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
\chapter{The Death Hamsters}
\by{Part of Everything}
Story submission! Edited to include the ``kids need to be
respected/listened to'' theme.
{\bf The Death Hamsters}
@ -127,16 +122,16 @@ Luke was proud. That night he was in the paper.
THE END
The End
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
\chapter{Son Of Bavarious}
\by{Madcosby}
{\bf Son Of Bavarious}
@ -252,10 +247,10 @@ Then he was dead. East Dark Chill Street was his tomb.
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
\chapter{The Long Finger of the Law}
\by{Dr Scoofles}
{\bf The Long Finger of the Law}
@ -339,10 +334,10 @@ slightly younger than him{\ldots} Ahh sorry
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
\chapter{The King}
\by{Peas and Rice}
{\bf The King}
@ -1695,16 +1690,46 @@ was sobbing.
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
\chapter{The Creature / Dying}
\by{brylcreem}
This is a sequel of sorts to my story in the other thread,
{\bf The creature. From the
sewers}. Enjoy!
\section*{The creature. From the sewers.}
This wasn't going to happen. Again. Gene Beaver pulled off his light
suede jacket and sighed. Then he sighed again. He had started as a
trainee sewer inspector three months ago and immediately heard the
rumors. Rumors of a creature in the sewers.
Three years ago he had been happy. With a kid and another on the
way. Wife at home, making dinner. The whole nine yards. Then he came to
town. The kid. The prodigy they called him. Gene hated him. Hated him
enough to kill him? Perhaps. Or perhaps not. Either way, Gene hated him.
{\bf Dying. Of arsenik!}
Two and half months later, his wife left him. With the kid. The kid from
out of town. Gene hated him, but he couldn't do anything about it.
It was Christmas, but Gene didn't feel jolly. Didn't feel jolly at
all. His wife was gone with the kids, and the kid and Gene was
alone. Alone at Christmas. The worst time of year to be alone. It was
sad. Suddenly, Gene sobbed.
No, this isn't right! He thought. Gene decided to change his life, to
make it better. A new life, in a new town.
Three years later, here he was. In the sewer, with a creature that
didn't show up.
Suddenly, Gene heard a sound. A sound from behind! Suddenly he turned
and came face to face with it! The creature! The rumors were real! The
creature was real!
Gene died quickly. In the sewers.
200 miles away, Louise shuddered in her sleep. The man next to her woke
and looked at her. And smiled!
\section*{Dying. Of arsenik!}
@ -1811,27 +1836,12 @@ The End.
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
\by{henpod}
Cheesus christ.
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
\chapter{The Child}
\by{taurapo}
a tribute to ben biddick
The Child
Luke Bavarius stared into the barrel of his Beretta, if only he had
the guts to pull the trigger of his Beretta, He nearly got erection
thinking about how the bullet from his Beretta would tear his brain
@ -1929,23 +1939,10 @@ Raymond's semen.
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
\by{henpod}
I think some people are projecting their sick sexual fantasies
through Luke Bavarious. The man deserves better dammit.
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
\chapter{The Mosquito of Death}
\by{Assless Chaps}
{\bf The Mosquito of Death}
Luke Bavarious stumbled slowly through the New York City alley,
gently swatting the mosquitoes away from his skin with the butt of
@ -2080,33 +2077,11 @@ insect heart.
home and get some sleep.
{\em Edited to include something about listening to kids, as this was
written before the instructions were posted}
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
\by{henpod}
I cant help but laugh every time I read the word vomit in these
stories. Its fantastic
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
\chapter{The Monster of Lake Grim}
\by{Sirocco}
{\bf The Monster of Lake Grim}
I stepped out into the night. The clouds were dark and raining
shadows. The lake was calm. Dead fish rose to the surface. They
@ -2192,10 +2167,10 @@ And suddenly I was crying.
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
\chapter{The Horrid Reflection - Redux}
\by{Cota Froise}
{\bf The Horrid Reflection - Redux}
@ -2276,10 +2251,10 @@ Suddenly, I was sobbing.
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
\chapter{The Library}
\by{Combat Wombat}
{\bf The Library}
@ -2441,35 +2416,10 @@ right?
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
\by{Sexual Lorax}
SummerGlaucoma posted:
{\bf {\em BAVARIOUS
REASONS}}
If your story doesn't make the cut, SG, your perfect title has to
for Horrors II.
{\bf HORRORS II: {\em BAVARIOUS REASONS}}
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
\chapter{Pearl}
\by{Phthalogreen}
{\bf Pearl}
I stand in the shadow. The sounds have been coming again and again
for thirty years. I'm in the old folks' home on 42nd
@ -2632,14 +2582,10 @@ Bavarious.''
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
\chapter{Reunion Under a Blood Red Moon}
\by{Sleepless Dreamer}
Hmm, maybe there should be some blood vomit included{\ldots}
{\bf Reunion Under a Blood Red Moon}
The man stared at the figure wrapped in black sitting on the bench
in the middle of town at 3 in the morning. It was late, but he felt
@ -2730,7 +2676,7 @@ back.'' He looked up and saw Sandy, the girl his brother had
killed, waiting for him back to un-life like him. Things were
getting better.
{\bf ALTERNATE ENDING:}
\section*{Alternate Ending}
Luke said to himself: ``They always fall for the zombie
make-up.'' He looked up and saw the ghost of his mother, who
@ -2759,6 +2705,7 @@ time.
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
\chapter{Untitled}
\by{TheSpiritFox}
@ -2999,13 +2946,10 @@ They were. You should always listen to your kids.
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
\chapter{The Cellar Of Death}
\by{Lord Humongus}
{\bf The Cellar Of Death}
Luke walked down the house's scarred walls. The place was full of
hate, he could
@ -3097,47 +3041,10 @@ They should've listened!
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
\by{Tufty}
Sexual Lorax posted:
If your story doesn't make the cut, SG, your perfect
title has to for Horrors II.
{\bf HORRORS II: {\em BAVARIOUS
REASONS}}
Whaddaya mean make the cut? The entries shouldn't be whittled down
to a select few to be put into the sequel. Do you think if the
original works of Ben Biddick were placed among others and
critiqued and compared they would have ever been published? Of
course not! To do so to the stories in this thread would be
entirely unfaithful to the whole {\em point} of Horrors, and would
be disrespectful to Ben Biddick. The entries here are unbound
creativity and imagination distilled into its purest form, and all
of them deserve a place in Horrors 2.
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
\chapter{Untitled}
\by{King Plum the Nth}
To be fair, I don't really think I managed the style of Ben Biddick
and I don't really expect to compete here. But I'd like to think I
captured the spirit. At least, I had too much fun writing this not
to post it.
* * *
I'd never been to San Diego before. Never been further west
than Iowa. But I like to travel and I like my job, so when my job
called on me to travel, I packed my Beretta and bought a one way
@ -3302,29 +3209,10 @@ living.
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
\by{jidohanbaiki}
I'm really getting a hankering for some Luke Bavarious ``Choose Your
Own Adventure.''
{\bf Take Baretta}- go to page 12
{\bf Take both Barettas} - go to page 13
{\bf Vomit bullets out of Barettas} - go to page 25
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
\chapter{The Boy That Lived}
\by{Irish Joe}
{\bf The Boy That Lived}
@ -3387,10 +3275,10 @@ nothing ever will.
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
\chapter{A Tin of Popcorn}
\by{Dirty Sanchez}
{\bf A Tin of Popcorn}
@ -3744,10 +3632,11 @@ throat.
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
\chapter{The First and Second Stories}
\by{O Tempora! O Mores!}
The first story!
\section*{The first story!}
@ -3872,7 +3761,7 @@ fin.
The second story!
\section*{The second story!}
@ -4028,10 +3917,10 @@ corpse.
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
\chapter{Nobodys Savior}
\by{Pro-Swordbro}
{\bf Nobodys Savior}
@ -4206,10 +4095,10 @@ Suddenly I was sobbing.
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
\chapter{Words Will Never Hurt Me{\ldots}}
\by{Detective Thompson}
{\bf Words Will Never Hurt Me{\ldots}}
@ -4334,13 +4223,10 @@ Then he died.
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
\chapter[Dead Tired]{Dead Tired\\Horrid Reflection: Gaiden}
\by{Count Snapula}
{\bf DEAD TIRED}. (Alternate title: {\bf Horrid Reflection:
Gaiden})
Luke Bavarious woke up from a horrid dream in his Manhattan
apartment. He was vomiting sweat from every pore in his body. It
@ -4424,10 +4310,10 @@ were dead.
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
\chapter{Black River}
\by{Creflo Chronicle}
{\bf Black River}
@ -4517,23 +4403,16 @@ will grow again.''
{\bf THE END}
The End
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
\chapter{The Area the Moon Ignored}
\by{slackerpride}
Tapping into my 12 year old mind was fun. This whole thread has
been nothing short of amazing. That being said, I give you{\ldots}
{\bf The Area the Moon Ignored}
The moon was glowing, sending its light all over the town. All over
the town except for one part. That was where Detective Luke
@ -4799,10 +4678,10 @@ back into his rain soaked jacket pocket.
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
\chapter{The Killer B}
\by{Yaos}
{\bf The Killer B}
@ -5007,22 +4886,16 @@ dad.'' Luke Jr. pulled the trigger.
{\bf ?THE END?}
The End?
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
\chapter{Character Sketch}
\by{Ghost Hat}
I love this thread.
{\bf Character Sketch}
I frowned as I looked at the crime scene. The lawn had been well
kept once, but now it was all wild. The grass had been green once,
@ -5291,7 +5164,7 @@ good.
{\bf The End.}
The End.

550
part4.tex
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@ -3,11 +3,6 @@
\by{Quovak}
%--bz i dunno if the following is in the right spot after the fix
As with most entries, all grammar errors are intentional. Also,
edited to better fit the rules.
%bz--
My name is Luke Bavarious. I am a policeman. Recently my wife Vixie
Bavarious committed suicide. I've been sent in to deal with
@ -86,8 +81,8 @@ grief.
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
\chapter{SATANIC RED: The Third to Last Case of Det. Luke
Bavarious}
\chapter[Satanic Red]{Satanic Red: The Third to Last Case of Detective
Luke Bavarious}
\by{Anal Surgery}
@ -185,7 +180,7 @@ Bavarious now. All I could do was sob.
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
\chapter{ I, Lucius Baiuvarius}
\chapter{I, Lucius Baiuvarius}
\by{Hantu}
@ -367,23 +362,9 @@ caught my reflection in a pool of water. Suddenly I was sobbing.
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
\chapter{ Chamber Pop}
\chapter{Chamber Pop}
\by{Brushingworth}
%--bz - should this part be in itallics or something?
This is gonna be long, I apologize. I also started to write in
first person like the Biddick work but it was just annoying to read
so hopefully you'll forgive me for slipping into third. I tried to
keep most of the other Biddick writing styles intact.
I know its been done but this story takes place right after The
Horrid Reflection.
% bz--
Feebly, Luke Bavarious reached into his mouth and pushed on his
@ -617,7 +598,7 @@ sobbing.
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
\chapter{ LUKE KILLS AN AMERICAN}
\chapter{Luke Kills An American}
\by{duck monster}
@ -724,8 +705,8 @@ knew what this meant.
``DOWN DOWN AMERICAN PIG! DOWN WITH IMPERIALISM! DOWN WITH YANKEE
PERVERTS'' Luke shouted as he stuck the man in the groin with his
``{\bf Down down American pig! Down with imperialism! Down with yankee
perverts}'' Luke shouted as he stuck the man in the groin with his
fist and suddenly a team of Viet Cong burst into the room and
pumped the old pervert with lead.
@ -993,55 +974,9 @@ When her phone rang again, she let it go to voicemails.
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
%--bz
%\by{cruft}
%
%
%If the goons are up for it, I'd like to take the winning stories
%and drawings, typeset them, and bind them into an actual book. I
%can either do the cereal box cover pictured below, or I can use a
%heavier cardboard, glue some cloth to it, and try to make it look
%like an actual hardcover book. Then I'll mail it to Mr Biddick,
%with maybe some horrible knick nacks.
%
%
%
%I'll also make a thread about putting it all together, in case
%other goons want to bind their own books.
%
%
%
%
%
%
%
%
%
%
%
%
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
%--bz
%\by{lemonlime}
%
%
%Oooh that sounds bitchin, cruft. It needs a dedications page, too,
%one that's just like the original. Maybe the honor of composing the
%dedication could be granted to the winner, along with the other
%prizes?
%
%
%
%And I would totally read an A/T about homegrown bookbinding. Your
%whole idea is
%
%
%
%bz--
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
\chapter{ White}
\chapter{White}
\by{kerimeton}
When the white ward doors opened on that chestnut autumn day I was
@ -1241,43 +1176,7 @@ leaving them only to wonder how I had escaped in the first place.
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
%--bz
%\by{rinski}
%
%
%I just got caught up on all the entries. I predict Horrors II will
%legitimize the genre of ``horror, as written by a 13
%year-old.''
%
%
%
%Ben, how does it feel to have inspired a literary movement?
%
%
%
%
% bz--
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
%--bz
%\by{Dr. Mulholland}
%
%
%
%rinski posted:
%I predict Horrors II will legitimize the genre of
%``horror, as written by a 13 year-old.''
%
%
%
%Biddickian literature.
%
%
%
%bz--
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
\chapter{ The Pus-Stained Email from Hell}
\chapter{The Pus-Stained Email from Hell}
\by{Zahgaegun}
@ -1354,31 +1253,7 @@ mercy on their souls.''
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
%--bz
%\by{Quovak}
%
%
%
%cruft posted:
%If the goons are up for it, I'd like to take the
%winning stories and drawings, typeset them, and bind them into an
%actual book.
%
%
%
%
%I also love this idea. It would be even better if we could actually
%get the final anthology vanity published, but not spending a lot of
%money also works. Discount Bees needs to do cover art, though.
%
%
%
% bz--
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
\chapter{The Horrid Reflection II: Horrider Reflections}
\chapter[Horrider Reflections]{The Horrid Reflection II: Horrider Reflections}
\by{Bonaventure}
@ -1521,7 +1396,7 @@ against the wall by a torrent of blood, guts, and Bavarian cream.
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
\chapter{ Wicked Workout}
\chapter{Wicked Workout}
\by{Akbar}
@ -1658,135 +1533,7 @@ Both Luke Bavariouses vomit. Tears.
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
%--bz
%\by{Zahgaegun}
%
%
%
%Akbar posted:
%Placeholder for entry - COMING SOON
%
%
%
%
%Tick tock tick tock.
%
%
%
%bz--
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
%\by{Paracetamol Boy}
%
%
%I love all the entries where Luke Bavarius ends up crying.
%
%
%
%
%
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
%\by{Twigand Berries}
%
%
%
%Akbar posted:
%Placeholder for entry - COMING SOON
%
%
%
%
%My favorite.
%
%
%
%
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
%\by{antiloquax}
%
%
%
%Twigand Berries posted:
%My favorite.
%
%
%
%
%You're right. They need to lower the word count, because damn.
%
%
%
%
%
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
%\by{HastyDeparture}
%
%
%
%Akbar posted:
%Placeholder for entry - COMING SOON
%
%It had me on the edge of my seat, it had me on the verge of tears,
%it left me wanting more.
%
%
%
%
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
%\by{Akbar}
%
%
%I just wanted to make sure AYBraham didn't close the contest on me.
%Enjoy.
%
%
%
%
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
%\by{Akbar}
%
%
%E: Shit doublepost.
%
%
%
%
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
%\by{Twigand Berries}
%
%
%
%Akbar posted:
%E: Shit doublepost.
%
%
%
%
%New favorite.
%
%
%
%
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
%\by{Akbar}
%
%
%
%Twigand Berries posted:
%New favorite.
%
%
%
%
% You're going to make me vomit tears.
%
%
%
%
%
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
\chapter{ ``Gold Ribbon''}
\chapter{Gold Ribbon}
\by{Swanky}
@ -1944,7 +1691,7 @@ Bavarious wept uncontrollably.
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
\chapter{ The Smoker}
\chapter{The Smoker}
\by{Cruo}
I stepped up to the door. The smell of the smoke was leaking
@ -2114,20 +1861,6 @@ e: for title
{\bf Monstrous}
\by{Blurry Gray Thing}
%--bz
%I have no idea how my story stacks up with the other entries. I did
%not read them yet to try and keep my entry as pure ``Ben Biddick'' as
%I could get. It's not a parody, it's not a mockery - it is an
%honest attempt to write a story that could sit in the original
%``Horrors'' without looking out of place.
%
%
%
%I may have permanently crippled my writing skill. I look at this
%thing before me, and vomit tears.
%
%bz--
In the shadows of our overcrowded cities lurk unspeakable horrors.
@ -2269,12 +2002,6 @@ one knew who was doing it.
{\bf Deja Vu}
\by{The Bananana}
%--bz
%Want to quickly apologize for not being well aquainted with the
%source material, and for any grammer errors, but this is pretty
%last minute, also, please consider my entry even though it is a
%little late.
%bz--
Luke awoke in a bed. He stared at the ceiling and searched his mind
@ -2487,9 +2214,6 @@ There was a noise. Familiar. Welcome.
{\bf The Truly Horrid Reflection}
\by{and Into}
%--bz
%Kind of a long one{\ldots}
%bz--
@ -2652,223 +2376,11 @@ horrid reflection. Suddenly, I was sobbing. And crying.
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
%--bz
%\by{BenBiddick}
%
%
%thanks to everyone who put in an entry! this has been a mindblowing
%event and I will be reading through each entry. I want to give each
%one the time it deserves so bear with me!
%
%
%
%
%
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
%\by{katiekawaii}
%
%
%
%BenBiddick posted:
%thanks to everyone who put in an entry! this has been a
%mindblowing event and I will be reading through each entry. I want
%to give each one the time it deserves so bear with
%me!
%
%
%
%
%Thank you for indulging us and having such an awesome sense of
%humor! (People usually try to internet sue us in internet court.)
%Your book has been one of our forum's greatest discoveries. We're
%all seriously big fans of Ben Biddick and the emerging genre Horror
%As Written By A 13-Year-Old.
%
%
%
%I can't wait to see the results! It's almost as tense as ``The
%Horrid Reflection.''
%
%
%
%
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
%\by{fishguzzler}
%
%
%Waiting for someone to dig up the lost Biddick manuscript.
%
%
%
%Notice how the ``Horrors'' series focuses on the nasty things society
%actually {\em encourages} young boys to contemplate? Most of the
%violence, pus, and vomit themes could have been gleaned by a young
%Biddick through culturally accepted, even lauded classics, such as
%Battletoads in Battlemaniacs.
%
%
%
%But where are the other manuscripts, the ones too taboo for Biddick
%to disclose to parents and school? The dark and fuzzy underbelly of
%Puritanical culture may partially obscure the most revolting sexual
%themes, yet can never eradicate them. Always there will be
%sociopathic outlier pieces in the so-called ``artistic'' world, such
%as the Victoria's Secret catalogue.
%
%
%
%All boys will eventually attempt to acquire such a thing, because
%it is there - because it is forbidden. When, through audacity and
%luck boys succeed in such ventures, they contemplate a sticky chasm
%wherein lies only madness, to ultimately skirt its edge and become
%men.
%
%
%
%In 1992 there was a book lacking the slick veneer of ``Horrors''. In
%fact it was written in pencil on greasy and sweatstained wide-rule,
%and tentatively titled ``Whorrors'' [sic]. Yet it too is a masterwork
%of fiction, a self-exploration of the blasted landscape in the
%developing psyche of a late-pubescent American Biddick.
%
%
%
%I call on Mr. Biddick to release this secret text, complete and
%unedited. The gratuitous profusion of fluids {\em will be
%glorious}.
%
%
%
%I call on you, Benjamin Suddenly-I-Was-Fisting Biddick, and I thank
%you for all that you have already given us.
%
%
%
%
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
%\by{Paracetamol Boy}
%
%
%
%fishguzzler posted:
%Waiting for someone to dig up the lost Biddick
%manuscript.
%
%
%
%Notice how the ``Horrors'' series focuses on the nasty things society
%actually {\em encourages} young boys to contemplate? Most of the
%violence, pus, and vomit themes could have been gleaned by a young
%Biddick through culturally accepted, even lauded classics, such as
%Battletoads in Battlemaniacs.
%
%
%
%But where are the other manuscripts, the ones too taboo for Biddick
%to disclose to parents and school? The dark and fuzzy underbelly of
%Puritanical culture may partially obscure the most revolting sexual
%themes, yet can never eradicate them. Always there will be
%sociopathic outlier pieces in the so-called ``artistic'' world, such
%as the Victoria's Secret catalogue.
%
%
%
%All boys will eventually attempt to acquire such a thing, because
%it is there - because it is forbidden. When, through audacity and
%luck boys succeed in such ventures, they contemplate a sticky chasm
%wherein lies only madness, to ultimately skirt its edge and become
%men.
%
%
%
%In 1992 there was a book lacking the slick veneer of ``Horrors''. In
%fact it was written in pencil on greasy and sweatstained wide-rule,
%and tentatively titled ``Whorrors'' [sic]. Yet it too is a masterwork
%of fiction, a self-exploration of the blasted landscape in the
%developing psyche of a late-pubescent American Biddick.
%
%
%
%I call on Mr. Biddick to release this secret text, complete and
%unedited. The gratuitous profusion of fluids {\em will be
%glorious}.
%
%
%
%I call on you, Benjamin Suddenly-I-Was-Fisting Biddick, and I thank
%you for all that you have already given us.
%
%
%
%
%I'm sorry but the only fluids that will be profusing from me
%gratuitously will be tears.
%
%
%
%
%
%
%
%
%
%
%
%{\ldots}of laughter
%
%
%
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
%\by{JuicedSixFo}
%
%
%Aw fuck I posted my story in the thread and left,
%didn't see the contest thread. These submissions are awesome.
%
%
%
%
%
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
%\by{Syphilicious!}
%
%
%Gotta keep this thread alive, people!
%
%
%
%I was surprised at the turnout for stories, but how many people
%that contributed come from CC or actually have previous writing
%experience? I'd imagine most people are like me and just are
%interested in writing or wanted to contribute to the humor of it
%all or perhaps just get the prizes.
%
%
%
%
%bz--
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
{\bf The Horrid Realization}
\chapter{The Horrid Realization}
\by{Baron von Eevl}
%--bz
%So I know the contest is over, but I already have an autographed copy of Horrors so
%I'm not really interested in winning. I just had a brainstorm a few
%hours ago and felt I needed to contribute.
%
%bz--
%--bz italics? comment out totally?
This is a prequel of sorts to The Horrid Reflection, entitled The
Horrid Realization. In it, we learn how Luke Bavarious left his
post as New York's finest and struck off on his own as a Private
Detective. We also learn about lost friendship straight from
God.
%bz--
I stepped from the glare of traffic. The time had come again. I was
@ -2979,37 +2491,3 @@ in my apartment. Suddenly, I was sobbing.
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
%--bz
%\by{MariusMcG}
%
%
%
%Quovak posted:
%I also love this idea. It would be even better if we
%could actually get the final anthology vanity published, but not
%spending a lot of money also works. Discount Bees needs to do cover
%art, though.
%
%
%
%
%Let it be titled {\em The Chronicles of Biddick}.
%
%
%
%
%
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
%\by{HastyDeparture}
%
%
%
%MariusMcG posted:
%Let it be titled {\em The Chronicles of
%Biddick}.
%
%Seconding this motion.
%
%
%
%bz--