\chapauth{BoldFrankensteinMir} \chapter{Johnny the Knifer} \begin{textblock}{1.5}(4.7,1) \begin{center} \includegraphics[height=1in]{art/red-ribbon.pdf} \\ {\scriptsize Second place: {\em Horrors 2} writing contest} \end{center} \end{textblock} \noindent I stopped short at the counter. I sat down. Coffee poured out the coffee pot and into my cup, like a pot of brown bullets shooting into my cup and splashing in coffee. The waitress was very pretty. She said ``would you like some coffee''? My name is Luke Bavarious. I like coffee. And I am a detective. It was my favorite restaurant. It was on 756th street in Manhattan. New York. The waitress was very pretty, and the coffee was just as good. ``How do you like your coffee Luke Bavarious'' she said. ``Sweet like you'' I winked. She winked back. There was something about the way she winked at me and the way she poured my coffee. My heart beat double the blood suddenly, but I was in control. In control of my blood. ``How is that kid you have'' I said romantically. The waitress blushed. ``Johnny is a good kid but I'm afraid he's falling in with a bad crowd'' she cried. I comforted her, my shoulder soaking up her sweet sad woman tears that she cried from those pretty eyes. Suddenly, three men walked into the restaurant. ``Well Well Well Luke Bavarious'' said the first man. He was horrible and tall and ugliness all wrapped into a tall horrible suit. ``You better run Luke Bavarious after you ruined our drug crime this morning!'' he said. Then he said it again. With his guns. And his bullets. I jumped behind the counter. The waitress cried ``don't let them shoot the restaurant I have a kid'' so I jumped in front of the counter. The mobsters cackled a sick crackling laugh that bled in waves out of their toothy horror mouths. ``The great Luke Bavarious'' laughed Jimmy the Knifer. ``Hiding behind a woman! Laughable!'' he said and proved it with more laughs. ``Not so fast!'' I yelled and reached for my sleek silver loaded Beretta with my name engraved in the gun and on the bullets too. I realized my gun was gone! I had to think fast. ``Not so fast!'' I yelled and grabbed the pot of coffee. I splashed it at Jimmy the Knifer and his goons. The goons ran, missing the terrible shower of deadly boiling coffee. The coffee splashed into Jimmy the Knifer's hands and face. I recoiled in horrible terror as he screamed. ``NO'' screamed Jimmy the Knifer. He fell to the ground, the tears of pain mixing with the steaming sweet coffee as the veins in his forehead popped open like firecrackers in hot coffee and tears. Blood and tears and hair and coffee spilled into the coffee puddles on the floor and he screamed as his skin went into the puddles too. ``NO'' he screamed again. ``NO''. I turned to have my sandwich that I also ordered and the waitress had brought to me before the mobsters came in. Tears were on her face just as surprise was on mine because of hers. ``What's wrong Suzie'' I said. ``We're in New York the city that never sleeps, of course there's gonna be a little crime but I'm Luke Bavarious''. ``NO!'' screamed Suzie. She ran to Jimmy the Knifer! What is happening? ``I told you he was in with a bad crowd'' she sobbed through tears of grieving for her dead mobster son. I recoiled in horror from my sandwich. If I had known! But Jimmy the Knifer was not a child! ``He looks older because of makeup so adults would take him seriously!'' she cried at me. I looked now at Jimmy. A kid! The makeup was melting off in the blood and coffee and boiled skin and it was a kid! The sandwich dropped from my hands and the coffee pot shattered all over my shoes also. How could I have known? Jimmy the Knifer looked at me with blood eyes and tears coughed from his dying words. ``Who's the big man now{\ldots} Luke{\ldots} Bavarious{\ldots}'' he said, and in his hand was the baseball card I had given his mom to give him for his birthday just a week before. That made it even more incredibly sad. ``NO'' I screamed and they took me away for murder, on two counts of homicidal killings. Johnny the Knifer{\ldots} and Johnny the Boy.