\chapauth{Yaos} \chapter{The Killer B} Luke Bavarius looked down at the ground, it turned a putrid rusty caused by the bullet holes in his latest victim, Zigmatron McGlutenon. Luke Bavarius brought his Barreta up to his nose and took a smell. ``This smells good, it smells like'' but stopped in mid sentence because he thought he heard something so he looked around but there was nothing there except some things, so he continued speaking loudly, ``death''. Every time Luke killed somebody it reminded him of the time his son told him that he should not go out, and when he did and came back his son was dead! His son had died a long time ago, almost 3 months now today. Luke found his son's body but no head because his head was torn off. They searched for days but no head was ever found. They even used dogs that are good at finding heads without bodies. ``Why do I keep doing this'', Luke thought to himself. ``I can't keep killing, it won't bring back my son Luke Jr.'' Then somebody said that this was not true at all, but who could it be? ``But that's not true Mr.\ Bavarius, killing can bring back your son, because I can help you.'' Luke saw a man he had never seen before that looked like he was 50 years old with gray hair and balding. His sweater smelled of blood. ``Luke, I know something that you do not, your son is not really dead!'' But how can this be? ``I don't understand, I buried his body in the ground myself and his head was gone! You can't keep living without a head! And who are?'' Luke was distrustful of the stranger. ``But you can live with a head Luke, and your son still has a head, he's not really dead at all because the body you found was a fake and that's why you did not find his head because there was no head to find.'' Suddenly it all made sense very quickly, Luke Jr. did not feel like any body Luke had felt before and he always thought that something was wrong and now he had the proof. ``I am Ugundun, you need my help and I have a shop that can help you!!'' ``We can't talk here Ugundun, we need to go to your store before more thugs show up to kill us.'' So they went to Ugundun's store, where Luke had gone many times to buy guns and bullets from from Ugundun, but it was weird that he did not know who Ugundun was, that was very odd indeed. ``Let's have a beer'' and so they had a beer while they talked about Luke Jr. ``Do you want my help Luke?'' He did want his help. ``Good, but first you must kill somebody for me.'' ``But, I'm done killing people, I promised my dead son Luke Jr.'' Luke was angry that Ugundun wanted him to kill, but after a while he decided he would help Ugundun if it meant he could get Luke Jr. back. ``So who do I need to kill''? ``You need to kill this man.'' Ugundun handed Luke Bavarius a picture of something that looked like a man but was not a man, it was a two legged dog. ``But it's not a man, it's a two legged dog!'' Luke Bavarius was about to rip up the picture but Ugundun stopped him. ``You should know that appearances can be deceiving, you found out your son is not dead and even though you ignored him you can still get him back.'' Luke Bavarius knew Ugundun was right so he ran off to go kill the two legged dog. Luke Bavarius walked into the park where the dog was hiding out, as he walked through the park he patted his trusty Baretta that he has used many times to kill people with. And there it was, the two legged dog! But it was not like the picture, he was covered in rusty blood and vomit. ``Dad'' it yelled out. ``I'm not your dad dog.'' Luke Bavarius was angry at the dog for lieing to him. ``No dad, I am your son, I'm Luke Jr. Don't you remember me?'' The dog slowly walked up to Luke, and as he walked closer he turned into Luke Jr.! ``Luke Jr. It's you! I thought you were dead! I'll always listen to you again!'' Luke hugged Luke Jr. and gave him a kiss and a hug. ``I love you dad, how did you find me?'' Luke explained to Luke Jr. how he found him. ``Ugunden was the one that turned me into a dog dad, you have to stop him!'' Suddenly it all made sense, that's why Ugunden knew his son was not dead it was because Ugunden had taken him all the time! Ugunden hated how much Luke Bavarius loved Luke Jr. because Luke Jr. was a great child and did everything right and everybody loved him and liked him and Ugunden wanted him to kill Luke Jr. but Luke Bavarius did not kill Luke Jr. Now it was time for Ugunden to die. Luke Bavarius walked into Ugunden's shop, he threw a dog's head with a bullet hold between the eyes on the table and said the job was done. Blood and urine oozed out of the dog's eye sockets and bullet hole. Ugunden took a look at the head and started laughing and laughing. ``Ha ha ha Luke, that was not a dog, that was your son!'' ``I know that Ugunden, my son told me.'' Ugunden looked surprised. ``But why did you kill your son if you knew the dog was your son?'' Ugunden looked scared and Luke Bavarius knew he was scared. ``I did not kill my son Ugunden, I killed this dog to trick you. Now you're going to be punished! Luke Jr. get in here!'' Luke Jr. Lept through a window while shooting Luke Bavariuses Barreta and other gun, the glass showered out and covered Ugunden giving him many cuts and scratches. Some of the broken glass got stuck in Ugunden's eyes which made him blind and vomit. Because Ugunden could not see and he was covered in glass cuts he started screaming and vomiting and running around getting vomit and urine and blood all over the place. Luke Bavarius opened his coat up and started throwing rats and dog guts all over Ugunden which made Ugunden defecate and urinate and vomit and bleed even more. The rats started eating the dog guts which made Luke Jr. and Luke Bavarious start vomiting also. The rats tried to eat the vomit and feces and urine but it made them sick so they vomited and exploded covering the inside of Ugunden's shop with rat guts and blood and feces and urine and vomit. Ugunden was still screaming and running around and he ran out the front door of his shop. A large semi truck was driving down the road and the driver did not see Ugunden in time and he ran over Ugunden. Ugunden's head exploded from the truck's tires, all the guts and vomit he had not vomited out shot out of him like there was an explosion. The driver of the semi truck tried to stop but it made the truck skid out of control and the truck ran into a pet store. All the animals inside started hooting and hollering and they all ran out and they were all on fire. The truck was filled with gunpowder so it exploded killing all the animals. ``Thank you for helping me dad, I am your son and I will always love you even though you did not listen to me.'' Luke Jr. gave his dad a hug. ``I love you too son and I will listen to you from now on''. Luke Bavarius started to walk away, as he did Luke Jr. Raised his weapon and pointed it at the back of Luke Bavariuses head. ``I know you'll listen to me for the rest of your life dad.'' Luke Jr. pulled the trigger. The End?