%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% \chapter{Station 666} \by{VelvetEvoker} Tommy and his best friend Bobby were twelve years old. They lived in a small town that reeked of pestilence and a terrible oldness. Bobby's parents were very strict with their son and wouldn't even get him a television, so all they had was an old antique radio that once belonged to Bobby's grandpa. Tommy and Bobby knew there was something wrong with the radio, but no one would listen. Many times they had asked an adult to come take a closer look at the radio, because they knew if anyone else got the same feeling they were getting they'd burn the radio any bury the remains. Many times Tommy and Bobby tried to throw it out, but it was too heavy for the children to carry and the adults would not let them throw it away because it was their old grandpa's antique. One night when Tommy was sleeping over at Bobby's house, he noticed something strange. No matter where it was left the day before, the dial would start turning and eventually it'd end up on the frequency of 666. Tommy tried turning it as low as it would go, and in a few hours it'd be back at 666. It was the same thing if he tried to turn it higher. Later that night they turned the radio on while it was at station 666, but it did not seem to be an active station. Nothing but static spewed forth from the speakers, but in the static was the sound of dread. Bobby's mom said that it was odd but it must just be the dial's default setting, so still nothing could be done about the radio. The next day at school Tommy agreed to sleep over at Bobby's house and leave the station on all night to see if anything happened. However, nothing happened all night and they were tired so they began to fall asleep. They were awoken again at exactly midnight by a terrible screeching noise, followed by a voice. The voice spoke in an unknown language that was possibly even older than the radio. It was such a terrible voice that it sounded like nails on a chalkboard and both boys had to cover their ears. Bobby took his hand off of his ears and they were covered in blood, but Tommy wasn't bleeding. Suddenly Bobby leaned over as if he was about to vomit, but instead of puke a clawed hand came out of his mouth. The hand continued to emerge, followed by a shoulder, until Bobby's mouth could take it no more and his head split in two, with his brains slopping down his back and his jaw trailing down his stomach. Finally the demon had emerged, covered in Bobby's blood and stomach fluids. ``I am Xavid Viarabous, and no one has survived the sound of my voice for a thousand years.'' Suddenly Tommy reached into his sleeping bag and pulled out an old Beretta he found in the field. On it were the initials `L.B.'. ``I survived.'' he said. Then he shot the demon. The radio was still not thrown out for two days. Tommy turned it to station 666, and from midnight to 12:01 he could hear Bobby screaming. %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% \chapter{The Promise} \by{Donde Esta} 5 A.M. is a shitty time for burnt coffee. As I, Luke Bavarious, stared in to my barren mug and gently touched the still fresh wound on the side of my head, a reflection in the still slick bottom forced a sob from the trenches of my gut. It was him. That night in the alley way, four sleepless and coffee spurn nights ago, I saw something that can only be described as awful, and I shot it. I shot it dead. He came at me and he came at me hard, but Ol' Betsy finally laid him to rest. As he slumped over my side, covered in warm oozing liquid, I caught a reflection of something far worse than the disfigured wretch I had just put down. It was him; the man of my non-existent nightmares. I caught his reflection in the broken glass and he was smiling, smiling an unnatural and hideous grin. I was in no position to defend myself. While I might be able to load a Beretta faster than anyone else this side of the Hudson, being in his presence, time seemed to slow to a halt. His wild arms flapped about as if the cool alleyway breeze had been given life. Entirely too tall and entirely too pale to be human, only one thing came to mind: Slender Man. Two weeks before that, I had gotten a call from an extremely upset and distraught mother. She said that her son came home and he wouldn't stop talking about how the ``Slender Man'' had just played with him and some of the other children at Bryant Park just off of W 41st St. Her son went on to tell her how ``Slendy'', as the boy had nicknamed him, had taken a particular interest in Suzy Carlton. He said that Slendy took her into the alleyway and she came back with a strange purple mark on her arm. She thought it was awesome and all the other children wanted one too, but Slendy said that they would have to wait and that he, ``Would be back for everyone!'' Her son was the only one who was scared of him. I scoffed at the lady and told her that I had more important things to do than investigate some street performer handing out stickers to children in the park. I didn't care if her kid got stiffed a purple tattoo from some freak. I hung up on her. I shouldn't have hung up on her. As I laid in the street, looking at the piece of glass I was terrified. Sobbing, making all the connections in my mind, I stared at him. Stared into his devilish eyes, wondering what it was that he wanted from me. As he approached me, arms dangling all around, he bent down in a way that a human should not be able to and stuck his face nearly an inch from mine. In that moment, the only thing I wished for was death; quick and sudden death. Instead, the Slender Man would give me something much worse: a promise. He looked me in the eyes and with a smile he whispered in a voice which came out in chortles, ``Don't worry{\ldots}Bavarious{\ldots}I'll be back for you too.'' It was a promise which kept me awake for four nights, and a promise I expected him to keep. Now, looking into my cup, I watched as he stood behind me. I did my best not to show my fear. I looked at the badge lying out on the table. A gold shield made of brass and time. It wasn't much, just a symbol, but it gave me the courage to speak. ``Mr. Slender, why'd you go after those children?'' I asked, trying to sound as calm as possible. ``The children give me{\ldots}'' it sounded now as if it were trying to speak while a river of maple syrup ran through its throat, ``{\ldots}they give me lifeeeeeee''. ``So why are you here{\ldots}Slendy?'' I asked cautiously, doing my best to distract him while positioned my hand on the holster under my robe. ``Little{\ldots}David Sanders{\ldots}didn't last very long{\ldots}and his mother{\ldots}was{\ldots}lacking,'' he said smugly. ``Well Slendy, that night in the alleyway, you should have taken your chance because now I'm ready for you,'' I barked, as I spun around and emptied a whole clip into his chest. He shrieked and recoiled as black, viscous liquid leaked out onto my kitchen floor and ate away at it like acid. With his defenses down I fought through the mess of flailing arms and pistol whipped him with the still burning hot barrel of my Berretta. ``You shouldn't have fucked with those kids, Slendy. You shouldn't have fucked with Luke Bavarious,'' I yelled at him. He wasn't done. Despite my damage, he was still functioning, though severely wounded. ``I'll be{\ldots}back for{\ldots}you{\ldots}Bavarious,'' he coughed out, between sputters of demon blood. He dashed out the door and before I could get to it, the thing was out of sight. With a little boy's death that could have been prevented on my conscience, I now know my purpose in life. If I had only listened to him. The Slender Man may have just made me a promise, but I'm going to beat him to it. Luke Bavarious is now on the case. %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% \chapter{Johnny the Knifer} \by{BoldFrankensteinMir} I stopped short at the counter. I sat down. Coffee poured out the coffee pot and into my cup, like a pot of brown bullets shooting into my cup and splashing in coffee. The waitress was very pretty. She said ``would you like some coffee''? My name is Luke Bavarious. I like coffee. And I am a detective. It was my favorite restaurant. It was on 756th street in Manhattan. New York. The waitress was very pretty, and the coffee was just as good. ``How do you like your coffee Luke Bavarious'' she said. ``Sweet like you'' I winked. She winked back. There was something about the way she winked at me and the way she poured my coffee. My heart beat double the blood suddenly, but I was in control. In control of my blood. ``How is that kid you have'' I said romantically. The waitress blushed. ``Johnny is a good kid but I'm afraid he's falling in with a bad crowd'' she cried. I comforted her, my shoulder soaking up her sweet sad woman tears that she cried from those pretty eyes. Suddenly, three men walked into the restaurant. ``Well Well Well Luke Bavarious'' said the first man. He was horrible and tall and ugliness all wrapped into a tall horrible suit. ``You better run Luke Bavarious after you ruined our drug crime this morning!'' he said. Then he said it again. With his guns. And his bullets. I jumped behind the counter. The waitress cried ``don't let them shoot the restaurant I have a kid'' so I jumped in front of the counter. The mobsters cackled a sick crackling laugh that bled in waves out of their toothy horror mouths. ``The great Luke Bavarious'' laughed Jimmy the Knifer. ``Hiding behind a woman! Laughable!'' he said and proved it with more laughs. ``Not so fast!'' I yelled and reached for my sleek silver loaded Beretta with my name engraved in the gun and on the bullets too. I realized my gun was gone! I had to think fast. ``Not so fast!'' I yelled and grabbed the pot of coffee. I splashed it at Jimmy the Knifer and his goons. The goons ran, missing the terrible shower of deadly boiling coffee. The coffee splashed into Jimmy the Knifer's hands and face. I recoiled in horrible terror as he screamed. ``NO'' screamed Jimmy the Knifer. He fell to the ground, the tears of pain mixing with the steaming sweet coffee as the veins in his forehead popped open like firecrackers in hot coffee and tears. Blood and tears and hair and coffee spilled into the coffee puddles on the floor and he screamed as his skin went into the puddles too. ``NO'' he screamed again. ``NO''. I turned to have my sandwich that I also ordered and the waitress had brought to me before the mobsters came in. Tears were on her face just as surprise was on mine because of hers. ``What's wrong Suzie'' I said. ``We're in New York the city that never sleeps, of course there's gonna be a little crime but I'm Luke Bavarious''. ``NO!'' screamed Suzie. She ran to Jimmy the Knifer! What is happening? ``I told you he was in with a bad crowd'' she sobbed through tears of grieving for her dead mobster son. I recoiled in horror from my sandwich. If I had known! But Jimmy the Knifer was not a child! ``He looks older because of makeup so adults would take him seriously!'' she cried at me. I looked now at Jimmy. A kid! The makeup was melting off in the blood and coffee and boiled skin and it was a kid! The sandwich dropped from my hands and the coffee pot shattered all over my shoes also. How could I have known? Jimmy the Knifer looked at me with blood eyes and tears coughed from his dying words. ``Who's the big man now{\ldots} Luke{\ldots} Bavarious{\ldots}'' he said, and in his hand was the baseball card I had given his mom to give him for his birthday just a week before. That made it even more incredibly sad. ``NO'' I screamed and they took me away for murder, on two counts of homicidal killings. Johnny the Knifer{\ldots} and Johnny the Boy. %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% \chapter{A BUTTER KNIFE} \by{lemonlime} Martin Boswell was always required to remain at table until Mr. Boswell dismissed him. Some nights Martin would sit in his creaky old wooden chair, picking at a tattered and threadbare corner of its cushion, until long past midnight. Since eating his supper never took more than an hour, Martin would be left with a very long time in which to sit, pick at his lumpy old cushion and watch his father watching the butter knife. This knife was dull, scratched stainless steel with a rounded tip and a very slight serration; no different than any other butter knife that might grace another, happier supper table. At first Mr. Boswell would turn it around and around, so that the lamplight flashed off its blade hypnotically. Then, holding the handle lightly between his thumb and all four fingers, as one would hold the bow of a cello, he would run that knife's dainty little teeth slowly up and down the length of his forearm, occasionally pausing to turn tight little circles over the network of veins decorating the inside of his wrist and displaying to all the precarious restraint in which his very life's blood was held. Martin had used his father's butter knife once when Mr. Boswell was at work; from that day forth, seeing his father's shivers never failed to provoke an answering shiver in himself. Then Mr. Boswell would turn the butter knife's attentions to his scarred, scabbed hands, those stained and stinking hands which had fired the little gun that shot Martin's mother in the back as she tried to run for the last time. He would drag those hateful smiling teeth back and forth across the back of his hand as though buttering an english muffin, hour after hour, until the skin began to abrade and swell and eventually bleed. At first the wound was a minor one. But after being kept open by Mr. Boswell's nightly ritual for the better part of a year it began to grow wider and deeper. His flesh became purple and black and the stench of putrefaction was so strong that no one would willingly go near Mr. Boswell except for Luke Bavarious, a former police detective turned bodyguard, and Martin. One night, around 11 o'clock, Martin saw bone. Not even the memory of the four days of torment his mother suffered in the root cellar as she died of her gunshot wounds could keep him in his chair then. In his bedroom, Martin stripped off his soiled clothes and set them to soak in the bathtub, then opened the window to clear the odor and began to wonder whether a jump would really kill him. He didn't feel like adding to the number buried in that grisly root cellar, yet he knew that if he tried to creep out of any of the doors he'd be instantly caught by the keen eye of Bavarious. There was a knock at his bedroom door and then it opened. Luke Bavarious stood there and he said, ``I'm sorry, Kid, what you're gotta live with is wrong. Just run back as quick as you can. Get in your chair and I'll come in a bit later to shake him out of it. I promise I'll hurry.'' Martin threw on a clean set of clothes and dashed back downstairs. His father never even looked at him as he took his seat as quietly as he left it. Mr. Boswell did not shift his attention from the butter knife until Bavarious walked into the dining room, claiming to have seen an intruder across the courtyard. Martin was immediately ordered to his bedroom for the night, and as he left the table Martin felt a gratitude and devotion for Luke Bavarious that he could never have imagined just fifteen minutes before. That night taught Martin that while Mr. Boswell was watching his butter knife, he could go anywhere and do anything without his father seeing him. Only Luke Bavarious could keep him from leaving during those times. One night, as Mr. Boswell sat mesmerized by the clean red blood that seeped from his corrupted flesh, Martin went to the linen closet and pulled out a backpack in which he'd stashed clothing, food and a little money. Bavarious met him at the door. ``Let me go, Luke, please,'' Martin begged. ``You know he'll kill me too, as soon as he sees that I want to leave.'' After looking at Martin for a moment, Luke said, ``I know, kid. After what he did to your Mom, I knew that I'd only leave this house when I was dead. Mr. Boswell, he'd kill me in a second if he knew I was standing here talking to you and not killing you. No way can I let you stay here. Your father doesn't love or respect you. But he was a good man once, and I can't bear to live with having done something to betray his trust in me. No, there's only one way it's gotta be.'' With that, Luke Bavarious pulled out the Beretta he'd carried since early childhood, applied the muzzle to his temple and squeezed the trigger. A scalding wave of blood drenched Martin's face as he stood frozen there. He turned suddenly and ran away into the night. It would be a long time before Martin Boswell stopped running. He crossed oceans and traversed lands stranger than he'd ever imagined during the long empty hours sitting at his father's dining room table. During that time, Martin was a beggar, a slave and a whore. When he woke up one morning in a place where the air was so thick it could be used as a sandwich spread and the rain fell as warm as blood, he knew he was home. Martin would forget, sometimes, why he'd run. He'd be eating supper at a cafe and the light shining off one of the diners' butter knives would make him shiver with some dark lust. But none of that mattered. Every time he felt the hot rain wash down his face Martin would feel the blood Luke Bavarious had shed, the sacrifice he'd make of his own body, so that Martin could be reborn into a new life. %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% \chapter{The Cave} \by{Monkey Trouble} The name's Bavarious. Luke Bavarious, P.I. My morning began with a mysterious phonecall. An unidentifiable voice, wracked with sobbing, incoherently pleading for help. The only words I was able to decipher were ``help'', ``old cave'' ``outside town''. That could only mean the old, disused coal mine on the outskirts of town. Whoever the poor shmuck was, I decided to investigate. I followed the overgrown dirt track from the edge of town, until I was staring into the dark, gaping mouth of the cave. As I clicked on my flashlight, I heard a voice behind me. ``Mister. Hey, Mister.'' There was a small blond-haired boy on a rusted red bicycle behind me. ``You shouldn't go in there, it's dangerous.'' he said. ``Beat it, kid, you shouldn't be messing around out here.'' I said gruffly. A small smile twitched at the corner of his mouth. ``Ok, but don't say I didn't warn you.'' I watched him turn the bike around and ride off. As I stood at the cave entrance, I felt a strange itching sensation on my right hand. Looking down, I saw a wart I hadn't noticed before right next to my index finger. Dismissing it, I drew my beretta and headed into the darkness of the cave. As I shone my flashlight into the murky depths of the cave, I could see it went on for miles in front of me. The itching sensation had started to travel all over my body, getting more intense. I was eager to find whoever was in trouble and get the hell out of here. {\em BANG.} A gunshot cut through the air like a knife. I hit the deck, rolling behind a pile of rocks and scanning my surroundings for my would-be attacker. It was only then that I realised the shot had come from my own gun. I looked down at my gun hand, and recoiled in horror. Where the wart had been, there was now a fully grown finger{\ldots}{\em and it was curled around the trigger!}I swiped at it with my other hand and it responded by trying to turn my own gun on me. Seeing no other choice, I dropped my flashlight and grabbed my knife from my pocket and started to saw into the strange digit. I vomited in pain as the blood flowed from the cut. My flashlight lay on the floor, casting it's light onto me, and I watched as the finger continued to grow even as it hit the floor. The flesh writhed and I realised it was growing into a hand, then an arm! The itching sensation suddenly wracked my whole body, and I ripped open my shirt to reveal several pairs of hands growing from my chest! I vomited again in disgust, once again going to work with the knife, vomiting blood and vomit from all over me. Suddenly I was sobbing. As the piles of bloody flesh on the floor surrounding me continued to grow, I felt a hand clamp down on my shoulder, and I was spun around to face{\ldots}myself. I gazed in horror around me as I realised all of the parts I had chopped off were growing into other versions of me! This{\ldots}is the dawning of the age of Bavarious. The End{\ldots}? %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% \chapter{The Bodies of Bavarii} \by{Hired Gun} It was a haunting and horrid night in the city. Luke Bavarious sat at the bar. He knew that nights like these only brought trouble. All night, he had been feeling like he was being followed. He sipped his drink and sighed. If only he was back at home with his family. His wife and son had been killed in a tragic Beretta incident. Thinking of their deaths made Bavarious want to vomit. Instead, he had another drink. This was his fourth one tonight. After paying for his drinks, Bavarious put on his jacket and walked out onto the dark street. He knew that every alley and dark corner could be hiding a horrifying secret. He still felt the presence following him, but he put it out of his mind. Cautiously yet fearlessly, Bavarious began the five block walk to his apartment. A few minutes later, he suddenly heard the unmistakably terrible sounds of screams. These were no ordinary screams. These were screams of murder. Bavarious ran into the alley, his Beretta in hand. It was so dark that he couldn't see anything. He also suddenly felt that he was no longer being followed. Suddenly a flash of lightning lit up the sky and illuminated the scene in the alley. Bavarious could barely stop himself from vomiting when he realized that there was blood everywhere. And he was covered in it. Each drop of rain smeared the blood into his face and his clothes. Another flash of lightning revealed the true horror of the alley. The blood came from two bodies. The bodies of his wife and son. Their deaths were no accident after all. Bavarious stared at his Beretta. He noticed that half the clip was empty. As sirens rang in the distance, Bavarious knew he had no other choice. As blood and vomit flowed down the alley, the sound of one final gunshot pierced the night. The body of Luke Bavarious fell next to his son. For a moment, the two pairs of dead eyes met. %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% \chapter{The Torrid Connection} \by{Danger408} Cleaning his Beretta for the third time that day, and taking a swig of cheap whiskey, Luke Bavarious pondered his current case. ``This is going nowhere'' he thought. The case was different, it wasn't about helping others --- it was about helping himself. After seeing the face, the one so much like his own, yet so different; things had changed. He tried to forget, but all he could remember was the blood, all of the blood, the blood everywhere. ``Was that really me?'' He didn't know. He glanced down at the picture of his son he always had on his desk. The divorce had been rough, and he hadn't seen him in while. Taking another swig from his bottle, suddenly he turned as he heard a knock at the door, followed by two more in quick succession. He hid the bottle behind his desk, hoping to appear a bit more professional. He didn't have to respond however, as the mystery person had already opened the door. ``Hello,'' A beautiful woman started, ``I need your help.'' ``Have we met?'' He asked. ``I don't believe we have,'' she replied. ''I got your name from a friend. It's doesn't matter though - I have a case for you. My husband is missing. I need you to find him, and I hear you're the best at what you do.'' ``I'm not taking any more cases{\ldots} I have a lot of personal shit to deal with. Besides, you really don't want me to take the case.'' He paused for a moment. She looked familiar, a face he knew he had seen, perhaps in another life, but couldn't put his finger on who it was. She looked good though. ``I'll do anything.'' She pleaded as she removed her shirt. Luke had always prided himself as being a man of ethics, but ethics only went so far. As he removed his shirt, he added, ``I'll take the case!'' They commenced sexuality. It had been a long time for both of them, too long in fact, as it seemed like it would be over before they even started. As he lit up a pair of cigarettes, he once again got the feeling that he knew her from somewhere. He knew her named started with an ``L'' but he couldn't remember the rest. ``Are you sure we haven't met before?'' He asked. ``Now that you mention it, I think we have.'' She added as she began to pull at her face. She stretched and tugged, as vomit-like ooze poured out of her. She tore away pieces of herself, discarding them on the floor like a used condom. It seemed that the only thing left was a bloody mess --- until she wiped it off, revealing a familiar face{\ldots} His own. Scared half to death, and knowing that the other half would soon be complete, he managed to say, ``Listen to me{\ldots} Whatever you do{\ldots} Don't touch my son{\ldots}'' He knew he should have spent more time with the kid. Finishing him off in more ways the one, the once-woman's transformation was complete. Dressing in his cloths, and putting on his badge, she was the new Luke Bavarious. Was it a monster? Or could the real Luke from the future? Some questions aren't meant to be answered. %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% \chapter{Hell Cab} \by{Safe Driver} ``Wake up, Bavarius! Wake up! Wake up!'' The dispatcher's voice screeched through the radio. Luke Bavarius was asleep behind the wheel again. ``Wasn't sleeping, just resting my eyes.'' The radio buzzed back ``{\ldots}1977 Ruminate Way, pick up.'' At night the fares usually tip well. Mostly it's vomiting drunks with wallets that are just as loose as their mouths. Luke's been pulling a lot of late shifts driving his taxi. They help keep his mind occupied from the hand life dealt him. His wife is gone now; it's just Luke. The cancer came out of nowhere. It cashed in his wife's last chips. It ate her up from the inside, destroying their lives. All Luke could do was pray and make empty promises as the doctors ran their constant tests and hooked up more tubes everyday. It never went back to being right, she never got better. With all of his time being devoted to his dying wife, Luke ostracized everyone else around him. Even their only child, Bryson Bavarius was ostracized {\ldots} ostracized with extreme prejudice that it would make you vomit. Luke's neglecting of the rest of his family lead to more trouble for them. Bryson Bavarius needed daily injections to keep his type X diabetes under control. The injections never came. Bryson accidentally ate an entire bowl of sugar. The moment the sugar touched his lips, Bryson's face exploded like a pus filled vomit balloon. He died. When Luke found his body weeks later, the room reeked of rotting vomit and glucose. Luke told his wife that the boy could not make it to the hospital, he was just too sad. His wife got worse with each passing day. Luke would never forget his wife's final words; it has haunted him since that day. ``You lied.'' In her final twitches a pressurized pocket of vomit burst from her mouth. Then it was over and it was just Luke and his night shift. The address dispatch sent Luke to was an empty lot; nothing there but silence. Luke began circling around the lot. It was probably a crank call. Out of nowhere the read door is yanked open and a passenger jumps in. ``Christ, I didn't even see you! Gave me a scare there, well where to?'' Luke looked into the rear view mirror. The passenger's familiar eyes were empty and cold. The passenger smiled and Luke's heart skipped a beat. The smile turned into a grimace. ``Drive Luke, you're just going to drive.'' The voice was hollow. Luke's taxi pulled into gear. None of the streets were familiar anymore. They turned into endless circles of blurred buildings and drab scenery. Luke had never been so scared in his entire life, and he did not know why. He vomited on his lap. The taste was like the final taste he had of his dying wife. Bile. The same horrible voice broke Luke's confusion, ``Keep on driving Luke, we're almost there.'' They made it. Luke Bavarius didn't wake up. %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% \chapter[Destiny Calls]{Destiny Calls: A Luke Bavarius Mystery} \by{Livestock} Luke Bavarius was on edge. For months he'd been receiving terrifying phone calls from a mad man. The telephone would ring, Bavarius would pick up, and that horrible voice would speak. ``You're dead, Luke Bavarius. {\em Deeaaaadddd{\ldots}}'' ``Who is this?'' Luke would respond. ``I'll get you! I'm a cop, you idiot!'' ``It doesn't matter, Luke. The law cannot stop me.'' Luke wondered what the calls meant. They happened every night at midnight. Luke knew that midnight held special significance to satanic cults and the criminal element. In his work as a gritty New York City detective he had made many enemies. He could scarcely keep track of all the men he put behind bars, let alone which ones still harbored a grudge. Luke could barely sleep. In his dreams he was chased by shadows. Glimpses of dark alleyways and shattered mirrors haunted his slumber. Luke was near his breaking point. What did it all mean? {\em Ring!} The telephone rang. It was midnight again. Heavy beads of sweat started oozing from Luke's forehead like anchors dropping from ships at port. ``Who is it?'' Luke answered angrily. ``Now, now, Luke. Don't be so angry. It's just your old friend.'' ``You're no friend.'' ``And you're dead, Luke Bavarius. {\em Deeaaaadddd{\ldots}}'' Luke slammed the phone down. His heart was racing like Big Brown in the Kentucky Derby: fast and determined. Luke took a swig from his flask. He knew he had to do something. How long could this go on? Not much longer, Luke thought. It was time to involve his friends at the station. Luke called in a favor from Jim Centauri, an expert at tracing phone calls. Jim hooked his equipment up to Luke's phones, and the two waited until midnight. Nothing happened. ``Damnit!'' Luke yelled. ``He calls every night. {\em Every night!} ''It's probably just a prankster, Luke. Don't let it get you down. Anyway, maybe he got tired of calling you.`` Jim packed up his equipment and headed home. Luke thanked him, but felt disappointed he had no answers. Then it happened. The thing Luke was least prepared for. {\em Ring!} ''Not again!`` Luke yelled, staring at the ringing telephone. He debated answering, or letting it sing its horrible, shrill song. Finally, Luke could wait no more. He reached his left hand out and clutched the phone, squeezing so tight it would die if it were alive. ''Nice try, Luke. But you'll have to figure out who I am on your own.`` ''Who are you?`` Luke demanded, his voice surging with anger. ''Don't you know, Luke. Don't you know who I am?`` ''It's only a matter of time before I find out.`` ''Sooner than that, Luke. Don't you recognize my voice?`` Suddenly a horrible realization came over Luke. ''No. No! No!!!`` he cried out. He looked to his right, and he was holding a second telephone. ''All this time, Luke. It was you. It was me. It was {\em us}!" Luke heard a click. He looked to his left. The telephone in his left hand was gone. Now it was a cocked Beretta pointed at his skull. Suddenly he gulped. {\em Click.} %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% \chapter{Horrid Transformation} \by{JohnnyThreeToes} A man lives in that abandoned house at the end of the street. He is old and secret, nobody knows that he is in there. Those that do know don't suspect it is a man, but maybe a dog or a cat living in the house. There is strange foggy weather over that house. Tonight thunder rumbles all around the house in the air. The man sits at his counter and does not say a word. There is no one to say it to. He is alone. Pain is in his staring eyes. Pain from loneliness. Depressed pain. A bowl of eaten cereal is in front of him. He is frowning, not satisfied. Some open bags of dog food surround him, too. Horrid thunder surrounds his house and then there is a flash of lightning. The man has had enough! Enough of this civilization where people shun him for his talent. They could never understand. The man grins and puts on a collar. There is another flash of lightning and by the end of the flash the man has changed into a dog. He will do what he always does tonight like every night. He will wander around until somebody takes pity on him and pets him and feed him. As a homeless human society hates him, but as a dog he is the greatest thing ever to them. Life is funny that way, he silently thinks, walking out the door into the lightning. %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% \chapter{Flow My Tears, the PI Said.} \by{King Plum the Nth} The kids from the neighborhood pooled their money to hire me. All the kids on that street in the Bronx, in New York. One slow day I was getting ready to leave the office a bit early when a kid pushed open the door with my name, Luke Bavarious, and my job, private detective, painted in neat black letters on the gray pebbled glass. ``Mr. Bavarious?'' he said. ``That's what it says on the door, kid.'' He looked like he was about 12. ``My friends and I need to hire a private detective to find Mikey.'' He walked across the room trying to look brave, shoved a hand in his jeans pocket, pulled out a wad of crumpled \$5's and \$10's, and set them on my desk. I eyed the dough suspiciously. It looked sticky and damp. I can't remember ever not wanting to touch money before. I reached out gently and poked at it. Maybe \$45 bucks. Maybe less. It wasn't enough to pay for the time it'd take me to take a piss all over their sorry case. Whatever it was. ``Your mother know you're here, kid?'' ``Mister, Mikey's been missing, and all our parents and the cops say he ran away, but we know he got taken.'' ``Taken by what, kid?'' ``Taken by a nameless horror, sir.'' I looked at the dough again. ``I charge a hundred and fifty an hour, kid. In this traffic it'd cost ya another two fifty five just to get me to set foot in the Bronx.'' The kid looked like he was going to cry. I swore under my breath, stood, and grabbed the cash from my desk. Shoving it into my pocket I said, ``Never mind. I'll bill this Mikey's folks for the difference if I find him alive.'' The kid started sobbing then. Really hard. While he got it out of his system, I opened my desk drawer, pulled out my trusty Beretta and checked the magazine. Once I got to the Bronx it didn't take me long to find out what had happened. Sometimes my job calls on me to fight monsters of a supernatural nature. Sometimes I find myself buried neck deep in the blackest culture, the world of the gothic and occult. But sometimes the monsters are more horrible than monsters because sometimes the monsters are men. And this monster was a man. He was a homeless pedophile. Mikey wasn't his first but, by god, he was going to be the last. I pulled my revolver and pointed it at him, ``This is the end of the line, hobo.'' ``You won't kill me, Bavarious! I used to be a cop. Like your father. It's against the law to kill me no matter how many kids I raped and killed.'' He had me. I knew, and he know, and my father --- god rest him --- had known, no matter how many kids you rape and kill it only warrants murder in certain states and then only after a lengthy judiciary process. But, looking at poor Mikey's broken, rotten corpse, I just wasn't sure if any of that really mattered. The sick hobo followed my gaze to the body of his most recent victim. ``Oh, him? Don't worry about him. He liked it.'' And that's when I snapped. Everything became crystal clear. I wasn't sure what was right or wrong anymore but there was one thing I knew for damn sure. Mikey didn't like it. I pulled my trigger. My Beretta belched hot lead. The shell hitting the warehouse floor made a sound like a polite cough afterward. A ragged, bloody hole exploded in the monster's gut. He stopped, stared at his gory wound and began to vomit. Vomit flowed from his mouth and, after a second, shot from the bullet wound in his stomach too. I pulled the trigger again and again, each time it was less for anger and more for mercy. I perforated his neck. He kept vomiting. The vomit flowed from his mouth and gut and the hole in his neck. I put a hole in his head --- right between the eyes --- his eyes crossed looking up trying to see his death wound. His body heaved again and again, and vomit poured from his forehead too. Torrents of blood and bile and breakfast pouring from four holes on his body, three of them man made. Finally, I could take it no more, my stomach surrendered and I vomited. As I vomited, my eyes slipped back to the body of the monster's latest victim and I wept and my tears commingled with the vomit. There we stood, the two of us, vomiting. The psudo mythical hero and the psudo mythical monster over the poor broken body that had so recently vomited a child's soul into the afterlife. In a way, we were brothers, in vomit. He fell to his knees. He died. And, although I stopped vomiting, eventually, I could not stop sobbing. I cried so hard the flow of my tears washed the vomit away. %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% \chapter{Horror D'oeuvres} \by{Yogi Byron} I am on the verge of tears by the time I arrive at Espace, as I'm sure that I won't have a good table. However, the maitre'd shows me my place, a cozy booth next to an aquarium, and I feel relief wash over me in an awesome wave. I sit down. The sound of knives scratching against bone china, however, sets my nerves on edge. My name is Luke Bavarious. I am a private detective. I like my work. Complaints had been trickling in for a little over a year about cases of food poisoning emanating from this restaurant. I look carefully over the menu and order a lobster roll with arugula bedding. I choose this food in particular because it is my assignment to stop these complaints. My suspicion is first aroused by a loud belch from the table directly to my left. The gasses reverberate against the glass of the aquarium and offend my nostrils. A dark and horrid man is clutching his stomach, fork gripped tightly in his free hand. This scene elicits a grimace of pain from his face, and, suddenly, he shouts violently, jabbing the fork into his abdomen. A stream of vile stomach acid and gastric juices billow forth, burning his hands in acidic bile and causing him to vomit from behind pursed lips onto the tablecloth in front of him. My Beretta is already drawn as I attempt to calm the surprised crowd that is gaping at the food-poisoned man. His wife has urinated onto the carpet and is troubled by unwilling spasms that are shaking her body. I fire a round into the plate of food that sits between them, while grimacing. I snatch the ejected shell from my Beretta like it's a flying bumblebee and place it in my mouth, clamping down on the brass with my teeth to dull the pain of my miserable and human, all too human, existence. Blood is now mixing with the bile and urine into a disastrous chemical. I fire a round with my Beretta into the man, who is gripping the tablecloth in pain. He giggles as he is relieved of his cruel fate, lapsing into the sweet embrace of untimely death. I draw a bead on his poor wife, who is sitting in a pile of her own waste like a squalid dog or cat. I fire twice. Three shells hit the concrete. ``You!'' I yell at a waiter hiding behind the aquarium. ``Let me speak to your manager!'' He wipes his miserable face with a cloth. ``Beggin' your pardon, but{\ldots}I am the manager,'' he says. I motion towards the table with my Beretta. ``Sit down.'' I say. While he takes his seat before the lobster roll and arugula, I catch a glimpse of myself reflected in the glass of the aquarium. A white shirt and cummerbund are smoothed elegantly around my midsection, and on my right side is a gleaming nametag. ``Luke Bavarious, Head Waiter, Espace.'' Suddenly, I am sobbing. %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% \chapter{I am NOT Luke Bavarius} \by{Funk In Shoe} Interviewee: LARRY BAVARIUS - 05/05/09 So what do you want to know? {\em Question.} Okay, see, this is something we're going to have to address before it starts bugging me: You need to relax. I see you're tensing up there, a little already, why is this? When we spoke on the phone earlier - when you called me up and asked for this interview and I told you it would be no problem and to come right over whenever you saw fit --- earlier you came off so easy going, on the phone. I made coffee, did I not? Is this just a matter of you being the kind of person who really knows her way around a phone but tends to come off sort of skittish in person? No? Could you put that down Bic pen already? You know the clicking, and all. I get skittish, too. Honestly it's alright. You DO seem horribly tense. I am not, let me assure you, Mr. Ehl Bee. There is no need to go all star struck on me. I am as much of a nobody as you are, probably more of a nobody. Put the pen down, honey --- in lieu of that, just stop with the clicking, please. I'm sorry. Do carry on. {\em Question}. Well the thing is, the way you're phrasing that is you want me to tell you a certain mapped set of details about myself; details you're likely more acutely familiar with than I am myself. I don't know that I am related to Luke, as such. We haven't had much to do with each other since he published that{\ldots} Oh. Don't make that face. Okay, okay. Fine. So I am. Related. He's what you'd call my identical half brother. I know right? It's a weird way to put it and I apologize; I'm not trying to come off as overly dramatic here or trying to yank you around or make myself appear interesting or anything like that, really, it's just a sort of neat way of recapping our shared genealogy. And so but yes, I am a couple of years older than Luke and yes, we do share a good amount of absolutely top notch DNA. I've never been able to figure out exactly how much, you know, percentagewise et cetera, it's sort of a stupendously tricky prospect. {\em Question.} Because we got, obviously, the same mom and but so, as fate would have it, different dads. Tricky, because while my own dear sweet padre is an entity completely separated from Luke's ditto, they are, nonetheless, identical twins. This, their twin-inicity, if you will, is what has made all my attempts at coming to terms with the whole DNA snafu so far pretty frustrating. By now I've pretty much just given up. This, having the same mother and two different fathers who happen to be {\em appear} completely identical, is probably also why you're still fidgeting with that {\em God damned Bic}, even when I asked you politely and repeatedly to put it down, because it's freaking me out. I am not-I-repeat-not Luke Bavarius; and I am going to take the fact that you're still not quite sure whether to believe me or not on that, as a compliment that I am looking better than my usual best today. {\em Question.} Well because look at me. Check out thith. See thith? Ow. This is what the not-so-PC-crowd calls a hare lip. It's been fixed up, but it's pretty obvious with the scar and all, especially on the inside of the lip. Did you ever see a jacket photo of our boy Luke with a scar like this? This male pattern baldness thing? Luke dodged that bullet too. Where I'm 5.0 he's a good 6.1. It's a mystery, really. You should{\ldots} Question. {\ldots}I'm not finished, you should see our respective family photos. For some reason he just turned out like a late and slightly improved version of yours truly. Same parents, just slightly better. It's bizarre. By the looks of it it's the same parents in the same photo studio, doing the same awkward pose with our respective and identical dads in the background, arms wrapped around mom, wearing all red. Bizarre because so the kid in the foreground is basically either me or, like, a really, really pretty and tall and attractive {\em enhancement}of me. It's just weird. I am not Luke. Convinced? Want me to whip out the photos? No? {\em Question} Well I'm two years older. Dad and Not-Dad moved here together and started a used car dealership on the eastside. You are aware of all this, I am sure. Any profiler worth her salt, writing for such a major magazine, will be aware of this. So but they moved here, yes, opened up their dealership and started making good money right off the bat. It was a couple of years after the bubble burst and Dad and his brother were lucky-slash-clever enough to start their business at a time when people were just starting to make money again, but were still hesitant about, you know, spending it. Everybody and their mom bought used cars back in those days. And so Dad meets our mom some forty-odd years ago and they fall in love pretty quick and Dad moves out of whatever east side apartment he's sharing with his brother at the time, and in with mom. {\em Question}. From what I've been able to ascertain, I came around some two years later. Give or take. You'll have to --- stop clicking --- you'll have to bear with me on the details. At this point, the dealership is running like greased clockwork and both Dad and Not-Dad are pulling in some serious moolah and Dad, Not-Dad and mom start getting invited to you know, get-togethers, shindigs, box socials, that sort of jazz around town with the movers and shakers of whatever post-recession high society was in function back in those days. {\em Question}. Well it started out as a sort of joke, you know. Don't-You-Drink-Too-Much-Sweetie-Or-You'll-Get-Us-Mixed up. Shits and giggles and lots of fun at parties with my Dad and his brother showing up in identical suits and my mom pretending to accidentally kiss the wrong clone et cetera. Shits and giggles right up until, and you've seen this coming, right up until the three of them actually go and get so drunk that my Dad passes out in a bathroom at some fundraiser, slumped over a toilet for hours so that to this day he's got horrible problems with his back, and Mom goes and sticks her tongue down the throat of Not-Dad by mistake and by the time he gets to object they're both too drunk to even care and mom decides right there that for whatever reason, Not-Dad is a much better kisser than poor, passed out Dad ever was. {\em Question.} I don't remember much, except for him drinking a whole lot and never wearing anything but his underwear around the house, really. And the yelling-slash-stomping. I remember asking him, once, like we're talking age three or four here, where Mom had gone and he yelled at me. My dad is sort of a dick. I told him he needed to stop yelling at me. He didn't listen. I told him kids need to be respected and listened to. No dice. He would have to be, a dick, you know, to stick me with the short end of the DNA stick like he's done. Thith fucking thplith lip! Ow! And so but Mom moves in with Not-Dad and lo and fucking behold THEY spawn a kid too. {\em Question}. Yes. Luke. I see you have fathomed the basic concept of {\em listening}, I am highly impressed. May I continue? Thank you. So naturally, with my Mom gone off to shack up with his Brother, there's no fucking way in hell Dad's dealership is going to stay afloat, these two guys can't stand the sight of each other. {\em Question}. Just {\em imagine} that! It's like some bizarro-universe incarnation of self-loathing. Imagine waking up, hung over, and stumbling into the bathroom, looking into the mirror and seeing the face of the guy your wife is currently fucking, who is not you. Then, suddenly, you are sobbing. One cannot even be-fucking-GIN to fathom{\ldots} So yeah, anyway, there was that. {\em Question}. Well so they split it up. Put down a fuck-all huge chain fence right down the middle of the store and the lot. Split the whole place in two halves that were pretty much identical except for the sign out front. Dad got the BAVA half, Not-Dad got RIUS. And, foreseeably, they started harassing each other pretty much right off the bat. He'd bring me with him to work every now and then. I'd hang around in the lot and play in the oldest most derelict cars, the ones he couldn't seem to get rid of anyway, and I'd watch Dad scream his lungs off, whenever a potential customer went the ``wrong'', if you will, way around the fence and into the RIUS-lot. {\em Question}. Just insane stuff; like he had this thing where he'd jump onto the fence and hang there shaking it like a fucking deranged chimp, rattling the metal, shouting how the guy who owned the RIUS-lot was a no-good-for-nothing wife-stealer who also happened to sell exceptionally horrible cars that no man with half a fucking brain would ever want to et cetera et cetera. {\em Question}. Well Not-Dad would do the exact same routine whenever one went into the BAVA lot. Sticks and stones. I'm not going to sit here and assign blame. {\em Question}. She never came around. I haven't seen her since she walked out. He did bring Luke a whole bunch of times though. We'd play. In the beginning, we'd play. There was always this acute{\ldots} weirdness about it. Playing with him. Like seeing yourself in a funhouse mirror that somehow made you just an eerily tiny bit prettier than you are. We had to stop when they put up the actual WALL --- as in the brick wall. {\em Question}. They put it up in a moment of clarity I guess? Business had gone way downhill for both of them, what with all the shouting and fence-rattling and whathaveyou. It was sort of a necessity. They even split the bill. {\em Question}. Ah well so but it didn't stop there. Because after the wall, Dad got into this habit of sneaking into the RIUS-lot and greeting customers like he owned the place; he might as well could have, it's not like anybody could tell the difference. So he'd sneak into the RIUS-lot and greet potential buyers and just do a hell of a good job at being the very worst salesman he could possibly be, to scare them off. He'd make a show of keeping an open bottle of Jack on his person while talking to customers, luridly coming on to any female buyers slash wives slash children --- this earned him a couple of impressive beatings that had him just look an AWFUL lot like the kind of person you would not buy a car from --- he would follow the buyer around the RIUS-lot going ``oh heavens no, you wouldn't want to buy THAT; two words: DEATH TRAPS'' et cetera --- until Not-Dad would finally spot him from inside the dealership and coming rushing it, swearing and screaming, effectively scaring off pretty much everybody. Of course, after a week or so, Not-Dad would reciprocate by pulling the exact same kinds of stunts at the BAVA-lot and for a while there everything was absolutely, completely apeshit. Care for a drink? {\em Question}. Well Dad started getting up early in the morning to beat Not-Dad to work and lurk around Not-Dad's lot, impersonating him. Not-Dad started doing the exact same thing. After a year or so, Dad would clock in at Not-Dad's lot at seven in the morning and visa versa. After a year and a half, they'd pretty much swapped lots and spent most of their days scaring off the other's half's customers. They stopped selling cars over the course of a couple of months, in order to make sure the other didn't sell any either. {\em Question}. Well they went bankrupt. Both of them, and spectacularly so. {\em Question}. And so Luke beat me to it, is the gist of my story. He wrote this entire thing down faster and much more eloquently than I found myself able to. And don't think I did not try. I tried. The day I heard that he'd gotten published, I had two hundred and fifty type-written pages and was just about to finish up my own rendition. {\em Question}. Just another matter in which Luke Bavarius has proved to be that teeny, tiny bit better than me, I am afraid. He's the genius, he's the author. He's the one with his god damed non-split face on the cover of dust-jackets everywhere. And so here we are. And here {\em you} are. Digging up the dirt for your fucking profile. {\em Question}. I don't even fucking care. You think I haven't told this story? Who {\em told} you this story? Was it Luke? Mr. Ehl Bee, mr. Writing-under-a-Pseudonym-to-be-artsy-Biddick, with his prodigious talent and his intense, {\em fucking} eyebrows that he probably picks like a bitch? Was it? It wasn't. It was me. I want you to stand up, walk over to that bookshelf right there. Go ahead. Pull out his book. It's right there. Don't think I haven't bought it. I'm not your average bitter fucking idiot. I have money to spend. Pull it out of the shelf and look at him, on the dust jacket. Monochrome and unsplit, brooding. Go ahead. It's me. Am I not the butt of a cruel, genealogical joke? My father abandoned by love. I myself abanoned by fate. You want horror? Look at his picture, then at me. Do you not see this? Has the whole god forsaken world gone mad? I am telling you this story. I am the first incarnation of this story. Who is this Luke Bavarius? Go head. Look at his picture. Look at this Davidesque, seemingly retouched rendition of yours truly. See all that is shared between us. Am I not the narrator? I am L. Bavarius. Do I not deserve recognition? Look at his face. Pick it up. Go the fuck ahead. %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% \chapter{Little Men} \by{Zarimus} ``It has happened again.'' moaned the dark clad priest, his rosary clenched in his left hand. With his right hand he held the old phone handset indicative of the respectable poverty of the church office. ``Can you come right away?'' Father Dennis almost sobbed into the phone. Evidently what he heard comforted him and he hung up with a relieved laugh. He turned and smiled down at the silent young boy playing with some small figures in the corner of the room. Father Dennis stepped forward and patted the boy on the head in a friendly way. ``Don't worry son, the detective will find out who brutally murdered your father and that man in the alley.'' The boy did not look up, he was still playing with the small toys, little metal figurines of soldiers and knights and trolls he had been carrying in a small velvet purple bag ever since he and his mother had arrived at the church. In a short while there was a knock at the door and Father Dennis rose to greet the gray coated figure who introduced himself as Detective Luke Bavarious. ``The body is in the alley behind the church building.'' offered Father Dennis. ``You remember Nick, Detective?'' he said, pointing at the silent boy. ``Yes I do Father Dennis.'' said Luke Bavarious, gazing with intent at the boy. ``Has he spoken yet?'' ``Not since his father was brutally torn apart, just like the man in the alley.'' Father Dennis faced the grim detective squarely. ``Is it a serial killer?'' Detective Bavarious said grimly, ``We don't know yet. Let me have a look at that body.'' In the alleyway Luke nodded to the policeman guarding the crime scene. ``Evening Bob. Know anything yet?'' The policeman shrugged. ``Just that he died in a lot of blood. His arms ripped off.'' Luke raised an eyebrow in surprise. ``Just like the boy's father. Who was this guy?'' The policeman didn't know, as it turned out. Detective Bavarious wondered if they'd ever find out who was responsible. Back in the church office, the boy Nicholas carefully set down a small metal figurine that resembled a policeman. He then opened a tiny wooden box he took from his velvet bag and gazed silently at the two broken figurines it held. Both had their arms torn off. The boy picked up the policeman figurine and with a swift motion, tore off both arms. From the alley behind the church, he could already hear the screaming. {\bf The End} %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% \chapter{For the Children} \by{CannedMacabre} Norma's Diner is a horrible place to get a cup of joe. The only reason I was there was to meet a mysterious client that had insisted on anonymity. He had reached me twice by phone in the past three weeks and only identified himself as Mr. M. I told him that I would only take the case if we met face to face. Mr. M contacted me again this morning by text message to say that we should meet here at Norma's at 10:30 sharp. Its now 10:45. I'm Luke Bavarious, Private Detective, and I don't take a case without knowing the client, and I don't like to wait. The waitress pours me another cup of swill as I look over my notes on Mr. M's case. He says he is being stalked and that threatening messages are being sent to his e-mail and voice mail. He hints at the fact that some people are trying to blackmail him. He even casually ponders whether his life may be in danger. Its really not much to go on but with the clock ticking, I am beginning to wonder if someone might have already done the guy in. Its 11:00. The only reason that I haven't gotten up and walked out yet is that a manila envelope with five 100 dollar bills was slipped under my door this morning with the words ``from M'' on it. I figured that I would at least wait out the hour before going about my day. Maybe I will choke down another cup of the vomit they call coffee in this dump. As I raise the cracked mug to my mouth I hear the little bell on the door sound followed by a loud voice: ``HEY! What I tell you about those friggin skates in my restaurant?'' I turn to see a smallish kid with a stunned look on his face nearly crap himself. He has a giant book bag on his back and is wearing those shoes with the wheels in the heels. Heelers? Heelies? ``S-sorry mister, I forgot.'' He says sheepishly and hangs his head down in the embarrassment of all eyes being on him. He sits down at the table across from me and takes out some school books and a notebook. The waitress brings him a cherry Coke and puts a hand on his shoulder for just a moment, then goes back to her cigarette burning at the counter. Poor kid. I look down at my watch for a second and notice that ``M'' is now a full hour late when I hear that sheepish little voice again. ``Sir, can I talk to you for a moment?'' the kid is right next to me with his bag hanging half way off his shoulder. ``Uhhh{\ldots}Listen kid{\ldots}'' I start to say some rhetorical crap about being a busy man or having some place to be, but something in my gut tells me that not enough grown ups have made time for this kid. ``You know what{\ldots}Yeah. Sure kid, have a seat.'' His eyes light up and he throws his bag into the seat next to me and grabs his Coke form the other table. ``You're a private dick, right?'' The kid says. ``Uh{\ldots}yeah, Detective.'' I respond. ``Cooooool, I wanna be a P.I. too when I grow up. You carry a gun?'' ``Yeah, a Beretta, but it ain't all its cracked up to be. Sometimes you gotta deal with a lot of scumballs and sometimes you just can't help the people that hire you.'' I wasn't gonna BS the kid. If he was keen on getting into this line of work, he better know {\em exactly} what he was getting into. ``Besides, even if you do solve the case, you get the bad guy and he gets what is coming to him, it can leave a bad taste in your mouth.'' He nodded a bit in agreement and turned his eyes down towards his drink. He was quiet for a moment and then suddenly he spoke in a voice that was not at all sheepish or meek: ``Detective Bavarious, Mr. M wont be joining you today.'' he said in a calm, controlled voice. ``In fact, I doubt that Mr. M will be contacting you again at all.'' This statement chilled me to my bones and instinctively I lowered one hand under the table to the Beretta clipped to my belt. I was all ears. ``You see, Det. Bavarious, Mr. M was being harassed, stalked and blackmailed. and I am the one who was doing these things to him.'' The kid's voice was deeper now, and I must admit that he commanded my attention as few others could. ``I targeted Mr. M for the crimes that he has committed against children. He is a child molester and a murderer and I wish to see him imprisoned for these crimes{\ldots}'' ``Wait,'' I interrupted. ``A twelve year old kid has a man running so scared that he pays a private investigator to find out who is harassing him?'' ``Det. Bavarious, my name is Nathaniel Stilling. On my twelfth birthday my father beat me within an inch of my life and I spent the next 4 months in a hospital. When I awoke from my coma I promised myself two things: I would protect innocent children from harm, and I would never have another birthday. That was 57 years ago.'' I had no choice to believe him. From the beginning of our conversation I had felt that I was in the presence of a wiser, more virtuous man then myself. So when this kid, this small, sheepish child told me he is a 69 year old man{\ldots} I believed him. ``Look son,'' he continued, ``I know that you have the power to put this monster away.'' With that he pushed a DVD in an unmarked case across the table. ``I wouldn't get curious about whats on that disc if I were you. The things that man has done are not meant for our eyes.'' He slid out of his chair and grabbed his book bag. ``Oh{\ldots} and Mr. M's real name is Michael Wilkinson. He is a biology teacher at Washington Junior High School. When you give the cops the disc, just tell them that it was given to you by another PI that knew who your client is.'' The boy then gave himself a big push on one foot and skated towards the door on his heel wheel. ``Dammit kid! I'm gonna skin your hide!'' The ape behind the counter screamed. ``S-sorry mister{\ldots}I forgot again.'' The End. %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% \chapter{The Cocoon} \by{Ridgely\_Fan} \section*{Part 1} This place was new. My eyes took several seconds to adjust to the dim light, while I slowly drank in my surroundings. My head was throbbing, and my throat was parched. And it was cold in here. Very, very cold. I seemed to be in some sort of dungeon, as comical and absurd as that sounds. Or the kind of thing an insane millionaire would build to approximate a dungeon. Instead of cold, damp stone walls, there were cold steel surfaces and unfinished concrete floors. Instead of a brazier in the hallway, the ambient lighting was set low. They got the stink right though, and of course the barred entryway that looked like the door of a jail cell. I began going through my head, trying to figure out whom I'd pissed off enough to get myself into a place like this, when I heard a voice from a hidden loudspeaker. ``Well well Mr. Landon. I see you're awake. I hope you like your surroundings, you'll be here for some time.'' ``Who are you?'' I shouted. My voice was harsh and raspy. ``Why did you put me here?'' I was on the verge of tears. If this was a prank or a trick, it was going way too far. ``My name is Bravarious. Luke Bravarious. It's my job to keep the good people of this city safe, and that means keeping horrid creatures like you locked up down here.'' This had to be a joke. But if it was a joke, why go to such lengths? I put my hand to my forehead to think. There was something slick there. As I retracted my hand I saw it: blood. This crazy asshole must have knocked me unconscious to bring me here. The speaker started again: ``Don't worry Mr. Landon, your headache shall soon pass. Your kind heals quickly, even in your cocoon state. I can see you're confused. All shall become clear shortly.'' This was some Silence of the Lambs shit. I remembered back to that movie, the FBI agent said it was smart to get the serial killer to recognize his victims as human. Maybe I can do something like that here{\ldots} ``Mr. Bravarious, I can barely hear you through the speaker. Why don't you come down and talk to me through the bars? I'd like to talk man to man anyway.'' There was some silence. He seemed to be thinking it over. After a short time (surprisingly short) I heard a familiar voice in the doorway. ``I don't see a problem with that.'' \section*{Part 2} The man in the doorway was short and stocky. Pudgy even, though it was hard to tell in his trenchcoat. His hair was thinning, and had been clumsily combed to the side. His face shone from sweat or grease. This guy needed a bath. At least it gave me some idea of who I was dealing with. ``Mr. Bravarious, why did you take me here? Is this a joke? If it is, I'll keep it between just us guys, you got me good. Just let me go.'' I hoped he couldn't hear the fear or despair in my voice. ``I can tell that you're scared Mr. Landon, but that fear too will pass, as you emerge from your cocoon.'' This guy was crazy, but he was not going to be easy to manipulate. I know it's not a good idea to feed into the fantasy of a schizophrenic or crazy person, but I had to know what he was talking about. ``What do you mean cocoon? Is this some metaphorical thing?'' ``Not exactly, Mr. Landon. You are one of an ancient race. A race that has hunted humans for millennia. A predator that acts like a parasite. Your kind leave its offspring in the form of a human for humans to raise. When that offspring reaches adulthood, it abandons its cocoon and emerges a hunter. Fast, powerful, unstoppable, and hungry. ``I'm saying that you are one of these offspring. In just a few weeks you will emerge. But instead of hunting humans, you will stay here. I have prepared food for you.'' Bravarious pointed to a corner of the room, where I could now make out a pile of decaying meat scraps. That explained the cold and the stench. I wretched and nearly threw up. ``That's disgusting!'' Bravarious appeared calm. ``I thought you liked uncooked meat.'' ``I like a rare steak, not a rotting pile!'' ``So your transformation has not yet started.'' It seemed like he had some twisted explanation for everything. ``How do you even know I'm one of these things?'' Bravarious started to look self-satisfied. Maybe I'd struck the right chord. ``It was a simple matter of checking the records at an orphanage where the last of your kind was known to feed. You had certain{\ldots} traits. I confirmed these traits by watching you for the last two weeks. There is no uncertainty Mr. Landon, you are the monster I was assigned to capture.'' I hadn't seen anyone following me. Who knows if he really had. It was just as likely that he was lying or had just imagined it. Still, how did he know I was adopted? Did he know about my suicide attempts as a youth, about me dreaming of harming the others in the orphanage, my insane pleas for them to kill me? The years of therapy that my adopted parents paid for? How could he know? He spoke again before I could ask. ``Now Mr. Landon I have other duties to attend here. I must assume you'll be alright.'' ``No!'' I had to think of something quickly. I rubbed my forehead absentmindedly, breaking the scab that had formed there. Blood flowed anew. I had an idea. ``Mr. Bravarious, I haven't turned into one of these monsters yet. That means I'm still human. I'm human and I'm hurt, and I might die of thirst. Please just give me some water and some bandages before you go.'' He appeared to think this over very carefully. ``Very well, you cannot harm me in that state. I shall return shortly.'' He was right, I couldn't hurt him. What was I going to do? I started feeling angry at my predicament, angry at this crazy bastard for locking me up. The anger dissolved my fear. I had to do something myself, I couldn't wait for the police or whoever. I heard footsteps, and crept beside the doorway. ``Mr. Landon, I am leaving your supplies beside the do-`` Bravarious didn't get a chance to finish his sentence before I grabbed him through the bars. He struggled at first, but I put a stop to that by smashing his face into the door several times. An eye for an eye. I found the key to the dungeon in his pocket. The maniac also had an old filthy Beretta, loaded and with the safety off. As I let myself out and stepped into the hallway, I slid Bravarious into the room to take my place. I was feeling much better. The joy at my freedom, and my survival, was starting to cure my headache. Just before I closed the door, I smelled the meat in the corner. I hadn't eaten for days. I started salivating. Looking down at Bravarious, I felt a new urge. An urge that was new to me and yet felt timeless. Prehistoric. This all made sense now. Yes, he was right, it would be several weeks before I emerged, but he didn't realize that before that came the hunger. I would need to feed before my transformation. And so feed I did. %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% % bz We could correct this for the dude if we wanted to %\by{Ridgely\_Fan} % % %Oops. % %Uh, my story features Luke Bavarious' distant Romanian cousin, Luke %Bravarious, also private investigator. % % % %Also: % %Edited to include the main theme and to fix some grammatical %problems. % % % % %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% \chapter{THE BLOOD GAME} \by{raptorred} Once there lived a maniacally demented hag. The kind of person whose cruelty made the blood run cold and the nose hairs stand on end. She made her dwelling in a blood-red house in suburbia, rife with infantile girlie crap like odiferous flowers. And those stupid little porcelain cats which weren't even real cats so they didn't have blood or guts or anything in them. Also it was 1992. Fortunately for her, there was one element in her dark life that kept her existence from being as miserable a waste as a Slip `n' Slide in December: her perfect son, Luke. Luke was the age of a 12-year-old, with brown hair and searing obsidian eyes that were like pits down into his soul and his blood-filled innards. As sons go, Luke was practically the best. He sometimes took the trash out. And he hardly ever skipped school or beat up his stupid little sister until she cried and pooped her pants with grimy blossoms of baby turds which were sometimes reddish enough to pretend they were blood. But they weren't. Luke hardly ever asked for anything. At least not unless he really really super duper wanted it. And every quivering droplet of blood in his body boiled with agonizing desire for a Sega Genesis with Sonic the Hedgehog 2. He wanted it so bad he could puke. Puke until he shrieked with the euphoric laughter brought on by true happiness. A happiness he would never know. Not if his scheming mother had her way. ``Honey, we can't afford it right now,'' Luke's mother hissed from her blood-red lips. ``Maybe for Christmas.'' But Luke was as clever as he was dashing. He could tell she didn't really care. She didn't even look up from the boring pieces of paper covering the kitchen table. She spent most of her time with those papyrus slips. Far more than she ever did with him. Luke had had enough. ``You will pay for your cruelty,'' he announced. His veins bulged with brutal wrath. Blood wrath. ``Lucas Theodore Bavarious! Go to your room!!'' If he could have, he would have vomited blood in her ugly face. If you could call the grotesque mask of suburbia a face. But she was on the other side of the kitchen so he'd probably just get it all over the floor or something. So he went to his room. In his room, Luke's eyes went dark, darker than the slick polish of a brand new 16-bit gaming machine that had his name on it. His heart contorted into something like a wad of coagulated bubble gum. Except it wasn't really that much like bubble gum, it was blacker and more pulsating and filled with the trembling sobs of jillions of powerless kids before him who had been denied justice. Also it probably would not have tasted like watermelons, which was Luke's favorite flavor. It would have tasted like blood. Somewhere in Mobius, Sonic the Hedgehog heard his cry. That night, Luke's mother went to bed. Nobody knew it, but she had a twisted secret that was vile and also murky. To get ready for bed, she took out a big secret pan of polish. The polish was made out of blood. She polished all of the skulls of little adopted boys who died because they were denied the latest in awesome gaming technology. She collected little boys like this for a long time in secret. It was because she was crazy and evil and liked breaking kids' spirits and tricking them into thinking she loved them. But Luke was smart. He already knew such a selfish blood creature couldn't be his real mom. But when she got into her bed, she heard a sound. It was a strange sound. It sounded like buttons dribbling blood, only spookier. Then she heard another, even stranger sound. It was the ghostly wail of a Super Spin Dash, which was this awesome new move that they just put in the new Sonic game that lets you go up hills and stuff and any mom that wasn't pure evil would understand why her kid had to have it. If a kid didn't have something like that, the blood that coursed through his slimy organs would start shaking. And the blood was so angry and so filled with sorrowful hate that it would also turn into acid. Then his guts would get bigger and bigger like water balloons, only water balloons filled with blood instead of water. Until they exploded, spewing blood and guts and acid everywhere. Then the whole room would melt and the mom's stupid floral print wallpaper would be ruined. That's what happened to those other boys. ``Who's there?'' she asked, because she didn't know what a Super Spin Dash sounded like. If she were a good mom who bought her son stuff, she would know. Maybe it would have been enough to save her. She was so scared that a little bit of blood trickled out of her nose. It smelled like blood. Then something see-through flickered in the darkness. It was like a whip, but really it was a cord attached to a controller. The controller was attached to a terrifyingly awesome ghost Sega Genesis. The ghost of the console that Luke should have owned. Luke's mom tried to scream, but she was so scared that her blood started to gush into her throat. She gurgled on bloody vomit as two controllers (because Luke read in a magazine that Sonic 2 would have {\em two player mode} and it'd be more awesome than sliced blood and that was one of like a million reasons he had to have it or he would implode into a pile of bloody guts) thrashed out of the darkness and wound themselves around her neck. Then one controller started whipping her in the head. She started crying because it hurt. Then the controller started hitting her harder. She cried bloody tears this time because it hurt even more. They mixed with the bloody puke to make a sort of martini that was two parts blood, one part tears, one part vomit. And all parts terror. Then she tried to tear the controller out of the socket. But the Sega Genesis is way too well made for a mere Mom to be able to destroy it. It laughed at her with ghost beeps as her skin started oozing blood for some reason that was really gross and scary. Then one controller wound itself around her feet. The other kept winding around her head. Her hair was full of blood and vomit and tears and spiders for some reason. The Sega Genesis pulled and pulled and pulled. ``Luke,'' his mom gasped, a trickle of vomit seeping from her hypothalamus. It made a gooey line in the blood that was rupturing form her pores. ``I am so sorry.'' But it was too late. The Sega Genesis pulled her whole body in half. Out of it fell a huge brick of hardened vomit-tear-blood that was shaped like the inside of her body. It was because she'd had so much vomit and blood and tears inside of her that it melted all of her guts and hardened into a shell. The shell was shaped exactly like a mean old mom. But the Sega Genesis wasn't finished. A bell tolled in the distance. The siren for the Red Cross's Bloodmobile whistled in the night. And the shell started shifting. When Luke went into his mom's room the next day, there was no sign of her. Instead was a perfect Sega Genesis. Made entirely from hard blood. From the depths of his mom's dark closet a voice echoed. A voice that sounded strangely like the Coolest Blue Dude with `tude around: {\em ``Kids need to be listened to and respected.''} Suddenly, Tails was sobbing. %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% \chapter{It's just me, 'Luke'} \by{Lorentz Factor} I stepped from the shadows, those last shadows that were hastily escaping as the sun pours over the cityscape. I had awoken only moments ago, the sun's light entering my head like the scream of a newborn during a hangover. I could not remember what had happened. I was working on a case in the north end of the city, the details still not coming to me. I remember driving, perhaps I had an accident. I simply could not remember. Retrieving my shades from my breast pocket to halt the screaming rays of sunlight that were pounding at my spinning head, I noticed a door in side of the building I had found myself next to. I needed a place to sit while I waited off this pain in my skull. Opening the door, I was greeted with soft music from the big beat band inside what appeared to be a small bar. Odd time for them to be playing, I thought, but, never mind. I sat down at a table near the door and grabbed the drink list. Interesting, they only seem to serve whiskey sours{\ldots}fine by me, it's all I drink anyhow. After ordering, the bartender returned with my drink, I asked him, ``Where exactly am I?'' He chuckled, ``It's only 11pm and you're already smashed,'' he continued his guffaws as he wandered back to his bar. Sipping my drink, something the bar tender had said bothered me. ``11pm,'' but the sun had just come up; I checked my watch and it said nine thirty-eight. My watch breaking wasn't new to me, I get into rough spots quite often that my watch never makes it out of. I decided I needed to find my way back to the office. As I left the bar it seemed that twilight was approaching. My car was nowhere to be found. I walked south on the street looking for anything that seemed familiar, when I came to an alley. Something about this alley. I still could not remember. I walked towards the opening between the two buildings to the alley. I heard a voice behind me, ``Sir, I'm sure you don't want to go that way, won't you continue down the street?'' It was a small kid, a strangely dressed child. His pants were a grayish knee length trouser held up by thick suspenders that draped over his cotton shirt. His boots also were odd, laced up they met the short trousers leaving only an inch of bare skin between them. ``Move along kid, I think this alley is important.'' I told him. ``I'm thinkin' sir, you're going to be sorry,'' he was saying as he wandered off around an intersection. After my short talk with the child, I realized the sun had already dropped behind the buildings to my west. I tried to get my bearings. I wandered into the alley and the pounding in my head had become so intense that my knees buckled. I tried to cry out in pain, though the intensity of it all left me with little strength and the sound escaped as more of a gurgle. The pain in my head retreated with the sun's last light. I slowly stood from the fetal ball I'd formed in my pain. As I was was rising a light shown through the ingress of the alleyway. It looked like two headlights, they were bright and I turned away. A man approached I heard him shuffling through the broken stone of the ground in this ill kept thoroughfare. ``You there! What are you doing? Turn around!''. These words, that voice. It all came back to me. ``Beggin' your pardon, but{\ldots} you don't want me to turn around,'' I told him. ``Sure I do. I got a pistol pointed at your back so ya better.'' I knew what he was in for, I myself have seen this. It was my fault, it was his fault. If I kill him, I won't have to go through this again. ``Okay, you asked for it,'' I told him as I approached still hanging to the shadows. He asked me to step out of the dark, what the hell. My life would end soon maybe I can stop this cycle here and now. As I approached the horror that twisted his face was intense. I doubt he recognized me, I hadn't myself at first. I rushed him, hoping to reach him before he fired his Beretta. I lunged as the first slug pierced my skull. Several more rounds pierced me, the pain offset by my wish to end this cyclic horror. Blackness was encroaching on my vision. Things began to swim. I tried to warn him, but I doubt he understood the wet blood filled, ``I am you, I am Luke Bavarious{\ldots}''. I collided with him we smashed into a window. Everything went dark. My nightmare was over, but had also just begun. %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% \chapter{The Horrid Beginning of It All} \by{BatsBjorg} Eleven-year-old Luke Bavarious stood frozen in the doorway to his bedroom. He couldn't turn the light on. He wouldn't be able to turn it back off from his bed. But he couldn't get to his bed without the light on. He was in a real pickel. ``Dad!'' Luke Bavarious yelled. Another year, another month maybe, and he'd be too old to yell for his daddy. But yell he did. ``Dad?'' Luke Bavarious could hear the sounds of the Mets game from the living room. He could also hear the sound of another Coors popping open. His father's alcoholism had become publicly known sense his mother had left. Luke Bavarious thought his father was probably about halfway through his Coors consumption. The Coors consumption varied based on how poorly the Mets were playing, and right now they were on a hell of a skid. Luke Bavarious got a not-unwelcome rush from thinking the word ``hell.'' Hell, hell, hell, he thought. Shit, hell. ``DAD?'' One more time. ``GODDAMMIT Luke! What is it now. I toldja gota bed fiteen mints ago!'' Maybe more than halfway through the night's Coors. ``C'mere a sec!'' Luke Bavarious wouldn't tell Bartholomew Bavarious what he wanted until he came to the bedroom. ``Goddammit{\ldots}'' Luke Bavarious heard his father mumbling curses under his breath, heard his shuffling steps down the hallway, and then he was there. Luke Bavarious could smell the putrid stink of stale Coors and BO oozing from his father's pores. Or maybe his unwashed undershirt. ``Will you turn the light off for me after I get into bed?'' ``Jayzus! Notiss shit `gin!'' Luke Bavarious watched, horridfied, as his father drunkenly reeled into the pitch black bedroom. His father wiggled his ass at the closed closet doors. ``Scareduh monshters? Monshter inna closet?'' Luke Bavarious felt a thin stream of vomit rise up in his mouth, then burn his throat as he forced it back down. His voice cracked. ``Dad, don't. Just{\ldots} just.. get the light, wouldya?'' Bartholomew Bavarious ignored his son. Or maybe didn't hear him over his own drunken whoops. ``Monshter inna closET! Monshter inna closET!'' He sang over and over, in a childish rhythm. Luke Bavarious stood, unblinking, unbelieving in the doorway. He saw the closet doors rattle slightly. ``Dad!'' His voice pitched upward, like a little girl's would. It was the last time in his life his voice would break like that. ``Dad, seriously. That's not a good idea{\ldots}'' ``NOTTA GUDDEA? Oh fuck you, Luke Bavarious.'' And with that, his father threw open the closet doors, completely unprepared for the horrid behind them. Luke Bavarious couldn't turn away. He saw a fountain of vomit bubble up and spew forth from his father's mouth, but he didn't notice his own vomit until later. It got all over his feet. The horrid in the closet shot two tentacles out as fast as lightning. Bartholomew Bavarious' eyes bulged, the Coors leaving his body in a flood of beer-scented piss that soaked into the carpet. The horrid's tentacles wrapped around Bartholomew Bavarious' throat. Two more wrapped around his arms. A slimy, barbed tongue eased from the horrid's mouth. It slashed Bartholomew Bavarious' face open, clear from one cheek to the other. Blood erupted from the face, mixing with the beer-piss in a rusty puddle. ``Oh dad!'' Luke choked out. The horrid turned its horrid head for one horrid second. A glimmer of recognition flashed in its horrid eyes, but only for a horrid second. Then it unhinged its horrid, terrible jaws, vomiting forth a horrid stream of green, acidic vomit. Bartholomew Bavarious' clothes started to steam and simmer. The last thing Luke Bavarious saw were his father's eyes plucked out and eaten, first one, then the other. A single tear rolled down Luke Bavarious' cheek. Then suddenly, he was not sobbing. He knew what to do. He sprinted to the bedroom his parents had once shared, back before the Coors and the publicly known alcoholism. He took his father's Beretta from the nightstand, relishing the feel of it in his small hand. It was cool, in every meaning of the word. A shock of what he would later know as desire prickled at his belly. He raised the Beretta, testing it. He grabbed ammo and shoved the gun in the waistband of his pants. From the bedroom that was once his, he heard slurping sounds. He decided to take the shoes he'd left by the front door instead of his favorite sneakers. Now that he thought about it, those were kids' shoes anyway, and Luke Bavarious was a man. **Quick edit to fix an {\em unintentional} typo** %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% \chapter{The Sack of Horrors} \by{Twigand Berries} I polished off another set of ten and felt that good, deep burn. I sat up from the bench and flexed, noting with pride the hills and valleys of my bulging musculature. My sweat caused my sleeveless shirt to stick to my body, and I thought to myself, ``Damn, Luke. You look good.'' That's right. My name is Luke Bavarious and I am a private detective. And let me tell you, smacking punks and thugs around, you need to be in great shape. And when I'm not cracking the skulls of dopers and adulterers, I hit the gym, pump some iron, and sculpt my body into a machine. I couldn't very well meet up with my clients covered in sweat, so like always, I hit the showers to clean up. As I approached my locker, filled with my fitted suit, trenchcoat, and my Beretta snuggled in its holster, my eyes were literally destroyed by a sight that plagues my visits to this mosty holy Temple of the Body. Sure enough, some old man was standing at the sink, shaving, completely buck naked. His wrinkly body sagged in every place imaginable. Hair sprouted from various places hair should probably not sprout from. His skin was covered in spots and possibly sores. What he does at the gym is a complete mystery, as his flabby body and gigantic swollen stomach betrayed no evidence of any cardio or properly balanced muscle training whatsoever. But the worst was his balls. His old, wrinkly, sack hanging down from his groin farther than it would seem humanly possible. I almost vomited all over the changing room floor. I grabbed my towel and hit the showers, this monstrous image burned into my brain. As the water steamed off my red, ripped body I tried to come up with a reason why these old men would ruin my work out in this way. I come here to feel good and make myself into a god, but every day I am assailed by these geriatric sacks of downward flowing flesh, and am constantly reminded where we are all headed. I scrubbed myself down, lingering my gaze over my own perfection, to banish thoughts of old, naked balls out of my head. I needed a drink. Instead of heading to my office and checking my messages for new cases to crack, I headed down to my local pub hoping some old friends would have the same idea. Sure enough, Brad and Hooksey were draining some pints, and I sidled up to the bar next to them. My mind was still spastic over the horrors from the gym, so I broached the topic to my friends. ``Brad, Hooksey{\ldots}you guys work out, it shows by the way, and I'm wondering if you two encounter the same problem as I do,'' I said. ``Do tell, Luke.'' Brad leaned in, interested. ``Yes, Mr. Bavarious. I love your stories!'' Hooksey exclaimed, excitedly. ``Well, friends, you know how after you burn through your reps and it's time to clean yourself up, you go for a shower, right?'' I asked. ``Always.'' Brad said. ``I like to shower.'' Hooksey replied. ``Well, why is it that every time you go into the locker room, there is some disgusting old man doing stuff naked? Like, I know you have to change your clothes in there, and there will be a point where you're naked, but these old guys are ridiculous. They get naked, and then it seems like they don't want to get dressed again. They stand around talking. They shave. They comb their wispy hair. They spend more time naked in the locker room than they do exercising I bet! And here I am trying to perfect my body, and I have to gaze upon these leathery sacks of fat!'' I explained! ``It makes me want to punch their faces off,'' Brad agreed. ``I think I will vomit my puke up just thinking about their disgusting naked bodies,'' Hooksey chimed in. Now, while I was telling this story, some young, scrawny punk came into the bar trying to sell some candy bars for the Girl Scouts or something and he overheard the whole thing. This punk felt the need to chime in. ``I don't know you gentlemen, but I couldn't help but overhear what you are discussing. I think you should be ashamed of yourselves talking about the elderly in this manner. They are deserving of your respect. They won World War II so you can be free, and shame on you for talking about them this way,'' the punk admonished. ``Hey, now{\ldots}'' Brad exclaimed! ``There are old germans!'' Hooksey rebutted. My friends were red in the face at the nerve of this punk, but I knew how to end this argument. I slid off my bar stool, and turned to the punk. He looked up at me with fear in his eyes, and I casually opened up my trenchcoat. His eyes wandered down past my ripped pecs and spied the Beretta casually hanging out in its holster. The blood left the punk's face and he ran on out of the bar, urine soaking his trousers. ``Hahahahahaha,'' Brad laughed. ``Hahahahahhaa,'' Hooksey laughed. I smiled, and turned back to my beer, thoughts of disgusting flabby old ass gone for the evening. * * * The next day I awoke with the urge to pump some iron again. I hurried down to my gym and entered the locker room to change into my work out clothes. As I was squeezing into my sleeveless tee, I looked towards the sink. You guessed it. Just standing there, naked, in front of a full length mirror was the most disgusting specimen of humanity you could ever encounter. I would regale you with details of his mottled, paper thin skin, or his liver spotted, veiny scalp, or even how his biceps swung in the breeze, but it all pales in comparison to the most disgusting old man balls I have ever seen. I stood like a deer in headlights staring at this inverted mushroom hanging for kilometers beneath an enormous, hanging gut. The gray, crispy thicket that it sprouted from. The scraggly forest of pubes that grew to ungodly lengths off the wrinkly, vein covered surface. The swirl of reds and purples that colored its sagging surface. The bumps and grooves. It was awful. I was transfixed in my disgust. But slowly I got a hold of myself and my eyes raised from his lower regions, over his disgusting flabby body, and onto his wrinkly face in the mirror. And to my horror, his eyes matched mine in the mirror. He was watching me watch him! And he smiled. A gap toothed smile framed in crusted lips. I ran from there. I entered the gym proper, fighting back vomit and the desire to unload my Beretta into his nasty, smiling food hole. The only way to recover from this was to focus every fiber of my being into my workout. And I racked up an obscene amount of weight onto the bar and reclined onto the bench. Screw warming up. I was going to pump that disgusting image right out of my mind with the sweet burn of my muscles pounding out ten reps of my maximum benchpress. I hefted the bar off the cradle, balancing the weight between my two pistons of might. I closed my eyes, and began to work my way into the set. {\bf One.} The bar was lowered to my chest and I shot it back up with a groan. {\bf Two.} My blood raced into my chest and arms, filling me with energy and purging weakness. {\bf Three.} The burn began. It felt magnificent. {\bf Four.} I began to imagine the bar was some punk who dared to pull a gun on me. And I was shoving his punk face off a cliff. {\bf Five.} I could feel the muscles in my biceps and triceps begin to quiver with sweet burn. {\bf Six.} Maybe the punk was that punk from the bar. That punk who likes old guy balls. Heh. {\bf Seven.} A warmth spread across my upper body as I heaved the bar up and down, bringing it within a centimeter of my chest. {\bf Eight.} Images of disgusting balls were burned from my mind as I imagined that punk kid being riddled with bullets, bursting from his back in miniature explosions of flesh. {\bf Nine.} As I crested my ninth rep, suddenly the bar seemed to become twice, no, ten times as heavy! I locked my elbows and gasped. It was unbelievable! My elbows gave out and my arms began to shake as the bar began to lower to my chest. I opened my eyes and looked up. I moaned in horror! It was impossible! The bar was still there with the normal amount of weight on either end. But between my gripping fists, in the exact center of the bar, hung what could only be the {\bf THE SAME PAIR OF BALLS THAT PREVIOUSLY HAD BEEN ATTACHED TO THAT OLD MAN!} And for the love of god, they weighed a ton! In fact, the weight was so much that the bar was slowly being lowered down to my chest! I stared in terror at this unholy scrotum that hung from the bar just inches from my chest. It was all there. The unexplained bumps. The crispy gray pubes. The mottled coloring. Oh my god! There was a sore on the underside of one of its orbs! As my arms shook and slowly lost control of this tremendous weight, I stared at pulsating veins that throbbed in a spiderweb encasing the two misshapened testicles that were contained within its leathery pouch. My arms began to feel a million miles away. The numbness spread along my humerus, over my clavicles, and into my quivering chest. Sweat began to pour off me in sheets. I heard a distant mewling sound, and realized it was me. The balls slowly descended. When they were inches from my chest, the impossibly long gray pubes tickling and entwining with my own chest hair, I saw a bead of brackish sweat appear from the patch of hair that was located at the join of this evil ball sack and the bar. It came as if from hell. It slowly tracked its way down the elongated skin pouch, over wrinkles and around encrusted follicles. As it beaded at the bottom of one hellish testicle, I began to scream wildly for help. Tears sprang forth from my eyes, and I felt all strength fade from me. The bar swiftly began lowering, and I knew my chest was going to be crushed and my unblemished skin covered in sweaty old meat sack. My life flashed before my eyes, and I realized my beautifully sculpted body was about to be defiled for all time. ``You need a spot, young man?'' came a voice from heaven. ``God yes!'' I pleaded. And suddenly the crushing weight was lifted off me. I began to sob in relief. My body was broken. I pulled myself up to a sitting position and gazed up at my savior. It was the old man! He stood there, dressed now in ridiculous shorts and v-neck white t-shirt, wiping his hands after racking the devil bar. How could this be? I stared at the weight bar that had almost killed me, and low and behold, the satanic ball sack still dangled from its length. My fury gave me strength again! I leaped from the bench and grabbed the old man, screaming ``You bastard! Why would you crush me with your balls? I'll kill you!'' His face whitened in surprise and fear. ``What are you talking about, son?'' he stammered. I pointed at his dirty nut sack hanging from the bar. ``Fiend! You almost crushed my ribs! You tried to dirty me with your geriatric filth!'' ``I don't know what you are talking about!'' the old man lied. ``Trying to trick me, huh? I'll show you!'' I screamed. At this point a crowd had gathered, curious as to what the altercation was about. I had to prove to them that this evil thing was the source of the sack of horrors hanging from my bar. I reached down and pulled his filthy shorts down and stood back, pointing to where his groin was missing its satchel of bulbous evil! The crowd gasped, and I smiled in triumph as I turned to face the old man. My smile quickly left my face, for, suddenly, the scrotum of Hell had reappeared in their proper disgusting place. I quickly turned to the bar, and sure enough, it was no longer encumbered with its evil payload. The crowd turned on me. No one would believe the horrors I had endured. I was thrown out from the gym, and, in my crushing defeat by the horrors of Hell, {\bf they did not refund my membership deposit!} The end. %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% \chapter{Kindness of Strangers} \by{Helmet} Luke Bavarious was driving his squad car on Old Pine Road. A little while ago, he had given an important lecture on drug abuse at the local Middle School. Then he saw it: a black car parked in a field where cars had no business being. He stopped. He walked over to investigate. The black car had crashed into a huge, unforgiving pine tree! Pine cones littered the ground like corpses after a massacre. From the shadowy wreckage emitted a small voice. A child's voice. ``Help me-e,'' it begged. Under his bullet-proof vest, Luke felt his guts tie in a series of knots, each more complicated and painful than the last. ``Dear God, not a child,'' he whispered. Around the car a moat was forming of gasoline, battery acid and blood. Luke Bavarious blinked back tears and inched forward. Inside the car was a man, dead at the wheel. An empty whiskey bottle sat in the cup holder. Blood was everywhere. During impact, the steering wheel had pushed through the man's mouth, decapitated his tongue and snapped his spine like a \#2 pencil. Luke looked away to keep from vomiting forth the complimentary meal he had received in the school cafeteria. That's when Luke noticed the boy buckled in the back seat. Possibly a seventh-grader, judging by his size. ``Dad, are you okay? I told you not to drive drunk,'' the boy said. Luke stared. Perspiration sweated from his face. The boy's eyes were gone, long gone, having catapulted from their sockets by the car's sudden stop and the tendency of objects in motion to stay in motion. The boy wept tears of blood from his disfigured face. Luke now observed two splattered milky blobs oozing down the front windshield like two unholy eggs from the bowels of Hell. Afflicted with overwhelming instant insanity, Luke placed his Beretta to his own temple and pulled the trigger. Nothing happened! He looked at his firearm and realized the safety was on. Bavarious giggled madly and flicked the safety off, then common sense returned to his disturbed mind. ``Poor little fella,'' he muttered between clenched teeth. ``Is somebody there?'' the boy asked. ``Will you h-help me?'' Luke fired one bullet, doing the job. %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% \chapter{Creature Of The Night} \by{invision} Bavarious. Luke Bavarious. I'm a detective. I carry a baretta. A baretta so powerful only one man can handle it. And that man's name is Bavarious. Luke Bavarious opened the door to exit the doughnut shop when he heard it. Or at least he thought he heard it. He thought he was hearing things again. Or was he thinking that he was thinking that he was hearing things again? He glanced down the dark alley to his right. He was definitely not thinking he was hearing things. The creature exploded forth from his midnight fortress of cardboard boxes oozing with the sludge from the rain soaked streets. The creature exploded towards Luke Bavarious. The creature was vomiting tears from its neck. Luke Bavarious calmy took a drag from his Lucky Strike cigarette, then flicked it lazily, as if patting a dog on the head. He then drew his baretta. He aimed it. He slowly squeezed the trigger as one would squeeze a small centipede or other insignificant animal. The shots rang out through the night, with the force of a jackhammer shredding through the creatures skull. The creature stopped dead in its tracks and slowly fell to its knees. It fell from its knees to its belly, all the while vomiting from every available creature orifice it could muster. Luke took a swig from his flask of EverClear 100% all natural grain alcohol hidden inside his duster. He placed the flask back inside his duster. He vomited. He approached the creature{\ldots} ``Oh no. Oh God, NO!'' It was grandma. %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% \chapter{The Book} \by{Scissorfighter} Trent Fencer was a bully{\ldots} He liked most to bully children. He hated all children. Even little Timmy Ontario. What Trent didn't know was Timmy had found a book. A horrid book. Timmy was angry one morning and decided to walk around to clear some steam. He found the book poking out from under the stairs of the house that he had moved into as his parents had boughten it recently at an auction for houses that had to be put up for sale due to the owner of the house having recently been murdered in the house. It was a horrid house. The book had leathery bindings and a feint smell of some body-emitted liquid he couldn't quite recall. He thought briefly of pus or urine but decided that wasn't quite it. He then remembered that he was angry. He angrily threw open the cover and looked at the writing. It was in Latin so entirely hieroglyphic, but he saw pictures of instructions{\ldots} Instructions on how to raise the dead. It didn't take long before he thought of Trent Fencer and felt angry. He was angry with Trent because Trent loved all of his friends and hated only him. Trent Fencer was walking outside some houses early one morning. He had gotten a message from his girlfriend Trish. Or so he had thought! It said: ``Hi Trent. Meet me in the graveyard. I'm horny, can you please ravage my hot body with sex?'' Trent high-fived himself immediately after reading it and quickly put his feet into a pattern of motion that would carry him to his destination. He was happy to receive that letter. He had built up a lot of power. Nuclear power, figuratively, where in this metaphor his father was the nuclear power plant. His dad told him before he left that his pants were too low and he should mow the lawn. With every complaint or chore request, Trent got more and more charged. His uranium was nearly at full capacity and he needed to pump out some electricity to the general populous. He got there and turned his eye-muscles to gaze around at the landscape. No Trish, only Timmy. Only Timmy and a book that sent chills deep down into his spinal discs and lodged there. Horrid book or no, he felt he could find another way to distribute power, so to speak. His feet had already moved him up to in front of Timmy's face and he barely noticed. His fist coiled back like a cobra then launched forward like the challenger shuttle, exploding on Timmy's cheek. Timmy's eyelids exploded open in a shocked expression, while his neck exploded out in veins and his mouth exploded in a red stream of blood. ``What is this book? Why are you bleeding red?'' Trent asked. ``Wait a minute, red is the color of satan{\ldots}'' His brain had started figuring out the vicious plot that had fallen onto him. Timmy no longer looked painfilled and merely stepped back, revealing a circle that Trent was standing in. Timmy then chanted the hieroglyphics carefully. It was suddenly a dark and stormy night. Thunder ripped through the sky like an explosion. The ground rumbled and out came a putrid hand. The hand grabbed Trent's leg. The hand them moved up further to his thigh and then revealed it was connected to a putrid head. The head came from the dirt, the very embodiment of the word ``horrid.'' Its eyes were sharp and glaring, its pores were wide open, its earlobes had bulging lumps, and it was missing an eye. It had finally stood up from its grave. On its chest was a shiny badge with the name ``Bavarius'' featured on it. It looked up at Trent and Trent screamed. Trent stood there, paralized and screaming. Timmy kept shouting orders from the ancient book. The water then forced the book to slip from his hand. He bent down to pick it up then picked it up and held it back up. He took one sniff of the cover and suddenly knew what the smell was from before. He dropped the book in horror. ``OH MY GOD!'' Timmy screamed. ``The smell{\ldots} it smells of vomit.'' With this sudden revelation, he knew what was next. The Bavarius thing turned around as he knew it would. It stepped up to Timmy, its hands raised. As Timmy's dismembered head was flying through the air, his last thought was that revenge is morally wrong and often hurts the revenger more than the revengee, and it's best to take the high road in all conflicts. %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% \chapter{The Journey} \by{January} The name's Luke Bavarious, private detective. I've seen some gruesome things in my time. Enough to make a man vomit blood. That's why I carry a loaded Beretta. Ready to deal expedient death to a sucker that needs it, or any misshapen foe. But one morning in 1991, I stumbled into a tragedy that wouldn't be brought to such an easy conclusion. It was a seemingly ordinary day. I turned on the TV as I ate my breakfast. I usually checked the news for the violent crime du jour, but I wasn't in the mood. I left the television dial to linger on a children's program, an animated story called ``The Journey''. A young man decided to go on an expedition to a foreign land. He selected a group of friends and relatives to join him. The young visionary's face shone with pride as the preparations began. Loved ones provided plenty of supplies and all the financial things for the trip. A celebration was held when the group was ready to set out. But some time into the journey, misery befell the adventuring party. Everyone developed a horrid sickness, the likes of which none had ever seen. Their eyes sunk into their heads as their frames grew gaunt and skeletal. Still, they pushed on. It was too far to turn back. As they trudged onward, their skin thinned and the color diminished to putrid green. Pustules developed, swelled, and exploded like liquid landmines, coating them in moist blankets of rust colored blood. In the end, every one of them drank of the bitter mercy of death, as they were reduced to nothing but fetid corpses. When the story came to its revolting conclusion, I vomited a fountain of spew, transforming my breakfast cereal into a despicable acidic cocktail. I couldn't explain the severity of my reaction. But what were they airing on TV? This looked like a chapter from the work of a deviant mind --- a day in the life of Luke Bavarious, perhaps --- not a children's show. I grabbed a Coors to soothe my throbbing nerves before work. I was already late. As I drove, I started to question whether the events of the morning had really happened. Maybe it had been a dream. When I drove past City Hall, I was surprised to see a large gathering. Something told me I needed to investigate this instead of continuing to my office. I pushed my way through the crowd to enter the doors. All around, the atmosphere was one of revelry. A young man was giving a speech. Banners waved, and well-wishers cheered. It was the same man from the story I had just seen! My mouth dropped open like a gaping black hole as I pondered his cruel fate. Immediately my veins pulsed and pounded, popping instinctually out of my neck! I noticed one young lady whose silence was telling. Far removed from the merriment, she seemed as out of place as I. Tears trickled from her bloodshot eyes. I had to I ask. ``Who is that young man?'' ``He's my brother,'' she said. ``He's going to die and take others with him!'' I exclaimed. ``His plan is foolishness! We must stop him!'' She did not respond. Her expression was of resignation. ``I must act if no one else will,'' I thought. ``Better one bloody mess than many.'' I drew my Beretta and aimed it at the young man to make the fatal shot. At the sight of my weapon, the sister heaved violently. Vomitus sprayed all over my pants and on my Beretta. I hesitated. ``Don't,'' the girl sobbed. ``I already tried to convince them not to go, but no one will listen. If you kill my brother, they'll probably go anyway. We just have to let it happen.'' I felt the questions frozen in my mind like impending doom. ``How do you know this? How do you know they will die?'' Tears cascading down her pale cheeks, she looked me in the eye. I knew the true meaning of hopelessness when she replied{\ldots} ``I saw it on TV.'' %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% \chapter{Shiny Toy Gun} \by{katiekawaii} I am a man. Some may call me a beast. I am also a detective. Detective Luke Bavarious. I wasn't always a man. I used to be a young boy. Carefree. But not for long. It was said that when my mother gave birth I came out screaming. I was just like that. Maybe it was a predictor of things to come. Maybe. I got my first toy gun when I was nine. It was shiny plastic, a Beretta. Fit in my hand like a glove. Like a glove fits over a hand, that's how it fit in my hand. My mom didn't want me to have it. It was my dad's idea. My drunken father. He always came home late at night reeking of horrid vomit. He wanted me to be tough. Tough like him. I was always being bullied. A sixth grader, Max Attica. I told the principal, but she didn't care. Sometimes it seemed like no one did. My dad told me not to be so weak. He yelled at me one night, ``Don't be so weak!'' he yelled. As he said it I could smell the horrid stench of vomit and the stiff gin and tonics he always drank. Hold the tonic. It made me want to puke. I could see his neck exploding as his veins strained against the skin with every syllable. ``You gonna let that Max Attica push you `round, boy?'' ``N-n-o S-s-ir,'' I stammered as I sobbed and cried and held down my vomit. My father's vomit, which had been given to me with the breathing of each horrid vomit- and gin-soaked breath. No, sir. Now I had my Beretta. It was just a toy, but I could pretend. I had a good imagination. I took it to school with me in my dark black backpack. Even then I favored the dark shade of the night that would later be my beat in the city. It was 1953. Back then nobody cared if a boy played with a toy gun at school back then. Things are different now. I'm why things are different. It was a dark and cloudy day, the sun forced into shadow by the ominous clouds overhead. Max's classroom was across from mine, and as the bell rang and we filed inside he looked at me and made the gesture children make to make a threat. A finger drawn slowly across the neck. I imagined the blood gushing out of my neck in a giant waterfall. He meant business. I told the teacher, but like all grown-ups she didn't listen. Nobody listened. This was my fight and mine alone. So I made it mine. We came out of the classrooms for lunch. Our eyes met across the hall. Eyes are the windows to the soul. Mine were black. He came towards me with his hand twisted into a grotesque fist. I pulled out my toy Beretta and aimed for his face, which was twisted with hatred. He laughed. I pulled the trigger. There was a loud sound, and Max's shirt turned rust. A real bullet. That's impossible. Suddenly, I was screaming. %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% \chapter{The Monsters in the Night} \by{rinski} Some would say I have seen it all. They luckily don't know the half of it. I have both seen it all and then I have additionally seen some more things. Unspeakably horrible things. Things that would shatter your mind like a car wreck. For me, it's just part of the job. You see, I am a monster hunter. The name's Luke Bavarius. And I love my job. Because I hate monsters. I was at my office desk. I poured a cup of dark coffee. I accidentally burned the coffee, making my office smelled like a raging inferno. I drank the acrid blackness anyway. It tasted like a punch in the throat. But it's pungency and aroma would keep me awake. Awake through a night as black as coffee itself. I needed it: I felt tired and dizzy for some reason. I put my feet up on the desk. I took another sip of bitter liquid. Then the phone rang. My son's voice echoed through the cold, lifeless plastic of the phone's receiver. I have three sons. They are volunteer fire fighters. Usually they can't make calls while volunteering. The call was therefore perplexing. ``Dad? Dad, you are in terrible danger!'' ``Terrible danger? Me?'' I scoffed at his insinuation. ``Son, don't you understand? I have seen it all. What dangerous fate could possibly surprise me?'' Before anything else could even happen, a smash caught my awareness. A window vomited glass fragments from its mahogany frame. A terrible entity was intruding through a now-broken window! Glass hit the ground like shells from my Baretta. Speaking of which, I withdrew my steel companion from its sheath. Time to investigate. The commotion was caused by a horrid foe indeed. It was a seething mass of tentacles attached to a pair of sickening butterfly wings. Parts of it glowed like certain eels can glow. ``Son? I'm gonna have to put you on hold!'' I predicted, stabbing the ``hold'' button with my left index finger. I unholstered out my Baretta and flicked off the safety because there was nothing safe about the situation. Before the fight had begun, it was over. A mere twenty bullets reduced the monster to a twitching heap of calamari. The bullet-riddled monster could have made swiss cheese jealous. An acrid stench filled the office. The stinks of vomit and blood and putrid smoke and diherria mingled in an unholy potpurri. Its pungency induced nausea. My eyes watered protective tears. The atmosphere of my office was now more stench than oxygen, making respiration difficult. I coughed. I holstered my Baretta in its sheath. I picked up the phone. ``Dad, you have got to get out of your office because you are in terrible danger!'' SMASH! Another creature erupted into my office. The window atomized. Glass fragments splashed the floor like razor sharp raindrops. ``I appreciate your concern, son. But your ol' D-A-D can handle a few monsters. I am a monster hunter by trade. And the hunt is on.'' I hung up the phone with confidence. This monster was no ordinary panther. It was covered in poison quills that rustled like amber waves of death. Its face was that of the common fly. Its arms were like a nefarious---suddenly, the beast attacked, interrupting my mental registration of its descriptive traits. No matter. My index finger instinctively triggered the Beretta's firing mechanism. A steel barrage sonic boomed towards the fiend. Soon it was just another lifeless object cluttering up my office floor. Blood gushed from its wounds like a Nile River of rusty fluid, courtesy of Luke Bavarius. The stench staggered. I coughed, gritting back vomit. Suddenly, a cacophony of smashes erupted. My remaining windows exploded in a crystalline supernova. The air was thick with a dangerous confetti of glass shards and monsters. Eight more monsters had broken in, causing this turmoil. ``My property value has gone `out the window.''' I said with gallows humor. The odor elevated to a living nightmare about burning corpses. It consumed my senses. I vomited. Twice. Some came out my nose. My eyes burned. Tears stained my face with anguish and despair. I faced my impeding annihilation with eternal sadness and morbid frustration. ``N-N-NOOOO-O!'' I puked out sobs and some of the coffee from before. I shot blindly, managing to kill one last monster. The remainder closed on me like a curtain of death. Knowing I was done for, I vomited one last time. Then passed out. I awoke later with a start in a hospital. I coughed. The cough tasted like ash and my mouth felt like a chimney. I called to a nurse, ``Nurse what is going on?'' ``I don't know how to tell you this, Luke{\ldots} but there was a fire in your office. You inhaled the smoke and hallucinated. Your son called to warn you, but by that point you were virtually insane from fumes. Your other two sons were the first ones one the scene. You{\ldots}'' Suddenly, she was sobbing. I sobbed too. For I had known all along. ``Y-you murd-urdered th-them with-with your Barett-etta. Then your third son showed up with more firefighters and you killed him too.'' I thought I had seen it all. But none of the horrid monstrosities I had seen could have prepared me. Not for this. Not for a realization that hit me like the weight of a neutron star full of freight trains that were carrying my murdered sons. I was the only monster in this tale. When I heard the news, my mind shattered like a car wreck. And I screamed and screamed and screamed{\ldots} %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% \chapter{The Screw That Turned} \by{BigSkillet} ``{\ldots}and his little heart, dispossessed, had stopped,'' said a man in a powdered wig that was reading a story to a group of people. Everyone else in the group was scared except for one, and he stood up. ``That story sucked and the ghosts were gay,'' said the standing man, who took a badge from his coat and showed it to the storyteller. It read 'Luke Bavarious, P.I. PhD.' ``I should arrest you for being so boring,'' he said, drawing his gun and aiming it at the storyteller. ``Oh bother, please don't, old chap,'' said the storyteller, who was British. ``It isn't my fault, it's a true story and it really happened that way. And it all happened in this very same house on this day ten years ago!'' When he said that everybody else got scared because it meant they were in a haunted house, but not Luke Bavarious. He just grinned and put a cigarette in his mouth. ``You all stay here, I can handle this. I can arrest those ghosts, and I'll show them the letter of the law the hard way.'' ``Oh Luke, you're so brave,'' said one of the ladies who was sitting in the room. Luke Bavarious fired his gun into the air and then lit his cigarette on the still-hot barrel. ``It's all in a day's work, ma'am,'' he said, ``and I like my work.'' With that, he left the room. Luke Bavarious walked down the hallway with his gun drawn. The hall was dark with shadows, but his glowing cigarette gave him all the light he needed. Suddenly, outside of a window, he saw a shape. Luke recognized it as a man, but the hallway was on the third floor. There was nothing outside for him to stand on except the darkness. It was one of the ghosts that the storyteller had warned him about. ``Stop where you are!'' said Luke Bavarious, aiming his gun at the window. The ghost stayed outside the window, an evil glimmer in his ghostly British eyes. ``Put your hands up. You're under arrest for haunting this house and I think you molested a kid in that story,'' Luke continued, but the ghost ignored his order. Luke fired at the ghost, two bullets shattering the window with a thunderous crash. When the smoke cleared, the ghost had vanished. Suddenly, he turned, and at the end of the hallway was another ghost. It was smaller but still British, and Luke recognized it as the ghost of the boy that had died. ``I've defeated the ghost that killed you, there's nothing to be afraid of now,'' Luke said, approaching the boy. ``Please don't feel that I've been bad,'' said the boy. Luke stopped and aimed his gun at the boy because his sixth sense told him it was a trick. ``I had no intent to harm when I stole that letter.'' ``You're under arrest for stealing,'' Luke said. Two shells hit the floor as he fired into the boy's ghost. When he went to inspect the boy ghost's body he found a letter in his hand. It said: ``To my dearest Luke. Please forgive me my son. Sincerely, the ghost.'' Luke Bavarious dropped the letter and screamed as he felt his heart stop from the true horror that was his fate all along. %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% \chapter{A Red Sky at Night} \by{HastyDeparture} The sun slowly sinks in the sky, an orange halo telling of the the morrow's forecast. The forecast is always the same. The forecast never changes, not for me, at least. Every day, I rise with the sun, and step out the door of my small ranch-style home as the sun clears the trees of my small suburban neighborhood. Every day, I grab a large, black coffee and the morning paper from the gas station on the corner. Every day, I park my black and white in the side lot of Lakeview Central High School. Every day, I sit down at my desk as Connie waltzes in the door, says, ``morning, Officer Bavarious'', and moseys on over to the copy machine. My name is Luke Bavarious, and I am a School Resource Officer. I'm a cop in a high school. I wear a badge, I carry a Beretta, and I don't take shit from anyone, especially not people half my size. They said that the regular doughnut-munchers weren't close enough to the people, not tied-in with the community, and unfamiliar with the hooligans in our fair town. They said that we needed someone to fill that role, to keep tabs on the kids, to keep our children in school and out of trouble. That's where I come in. I deal with the kids who have a streak, and who, without help, are likely to become the next generation of scum that plagues our streets. I keep the peace; I enforce the law. I know all the bad seeds, the troubled families, the broken homes. I get to know them, I lend them a hand, and I set them straight. I know them all like family. So when a young voice says ``hey, Officer B'' as I'm looking out the window at the setting sun, it's no surprise that I know who it is before I turn to face the teenage boy in a hoodie and baggy jeans. ``Hello, Marcus. How was your day today? You go to class?'' ``Of course, Officer B. You know me.'' ``I know I know you. That's why I'm asking. You go to every one?'' ``Yes, Officer.'' Marcus was a good kid with a bad streak. I've known him since he moved here his freshman year of high school. He moved out of a trailer park with his mom and younger sister to avoid their drunken, estranged husband. A rough upbringing; not uncommon. He's got a record like many of the others I've helped, ranging from little things like skipped classes and tardiness to a few more serious infractions involving alchohol and marijuana. The same old, tired shit. But he's been getting better. ``That's good, kiddo. That's good. You heading home? You know nobody's supposed to be in the school this late. You gotta study for those tests next week.'' ``Well, you see{\ldots} I was wondering if you could, uh{\ldots} come look at something.'' ``What is it? You getting into trouble again?'' ``I don't know, Officer B. That's what I want to you come see.'' I look back out at the flaming ball in the sky, and remember that even though my day is coming to a close, my job never ends. ``OK, Marcus. Show me.'' He nods solemnly. We walk out the door of my office. In silence, he leads me down the hall to the right, and up the stairs to the second floor. We make a left, and start down the next hallway. Marcus jogs ahead, and stops when he gets to the boys' bathroom halfway down on the left. ``In here,'' he mumbles, almost inaudibly. He goes in. I step up to the door, held open from the inside by a beat-up garbage can. It's almost pitch black inside; the lights are out. ``Marcus?'' No answer. ``Marcus? You in here?'' A chill creeps up my spine, an unwelcome feeling that's all too familiar for someone in my line of work. I step into the shadows, and undo the strap on my holster. I hope I'm just being paranoid, just feeling a little scared, but I know it's not true. The door suddenly swings shut with a slam, and the world as I know it is plunged into darkness. In an instant, I'm gripping the Beretta tight in my sweaty hands; exactly the last thing I want to have to do. ``What's going on, Marcus?'' I call out. The void answers, ``What's going on, Marcus?'' It sounds just like my voice; an echo. A soft sound appends the response; a shoe scraping the floor in the dark. My eyes slowly adjust to the dark, and I notice a small window on the far wall, just below the ceiling. The faint light coming through reflects off something to my right - mirrors above the dirty sinks. Another noise; my eyes dart back to the left. I should have seen it coming, but it's too late; I feel the breath in my lungs explode. I'm slammed into the nearest mirror. The glass cracks, and so does my skull. I push away from the wall, repulsing the weight of two, maybe three kids. I should have known. The weight shifts, and my body hits the opposite wall and the urinals. The nasty water splashes across my hands and stomach. Disgusting. I turn away from the wall, to face the kids. Disgusting. The weight hits my stomach, shots ring out in the darkness, and my breath bursts forth like doves from a magician's hat. I'm no magician. I drop to one knee, my head turns toward the mirrors above the brown stained sinks, and in an instant, I see all those young faces I've helped staring back at me, their faces blank, emotionless. I collapse on the floor. As I lay on the cold, damp tile, I can see out the window. The sun slowly dips below the horizon, painting luscious red streaks across the sky. Red streaks the color of blood. Red streaks like the ones painted across the walls of the boys' bathroom on the second floor. e: As I wrote it, the story drifted away from the theme, but that's what happens. I'm sticking to it. %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% \chapter{The Warehouse} \by{lucifer chikken} Dripping water echoed through the empty warehouse. I stepped into a slant of light thrown by security spotlights outside. The sliver of light was intermittently chopped by an exhaust fan set into the wall. I checked my old automatic watch, lost in meditation as the second hand whirred smoothly around the dial. It was late. I wound up at the old warehouse in the harbor on a hunch, there was a lot of money riding on the investigation, and Luke Bavarius, P.I. listened to hunches when it meant keeping the freezer flush with starchy Hungry Man dinners. In the distance, a low grunt crept through the darkness accompanied by the clang of metal. The sound rattled me down to the very marrow. Instinctively, my hand flew to my Beretta, two fingers rubbing the sleek metal for security. I'd seen a lot of horrors in the Big Apple, some things I'd never shake. The Beretta was my partner through each of them. Gritty footsteps crossed the dirty cement floor some distance in front of me. Squinting, I caught a flash of pale skin, a glint of metal. I pulled my gun from its holster, admiring its length as it was unsheathed. Stalking forward, back tight against shipping containers, I disengaged the safety and cocked the gun. Footsteps scurried further into the depths of the warehouse. I spoke to the darkness. ``Show yourself, asshole.'' Legs flashed across a slit of light. ``No one should be here now,'' I muttered. My heart fired adrenaline through my body. ``Shoot first, ask questions later, Bavarius.'' I raised my weapon, aiming it at the sound. ``Stop right there!'' I shouted, firing two shots into the darkness. An anguished cry echoed off the tin ceiling, followed closely by a thick thud of a body hitting the floor. I honed in on the sound and stalked toward it. In the shadows, another hulking figure loomed. ``What the fuck is that?'' It emitted a low sound and moved. Its form seemed unearthly. My colon clenched in response to the adrenaline rush. Must've drank too much muddy coffee before this stakeout. Again, my Beretta found itself ready to fire as I aimed at the hulking figure. The sounds it was making, the low groans, were unearthly. Whatever it was, it had to be done away with. My finger twitched on the trigger. ``Don't do it, Mister.'' The weak voice came from my right. My eyes darted between the veiled voice and the shadows in front of me. ``What the hell are you?'' I called. The voice didn't answer immediately. It just whimpered. ``What are you?!'' I demanded again, pouring all of the testosterone pooled my balls into my voice. ``I'm{\ldots} hurt. Don't shoot it.'' ``Shoot what?'' There was a pause. ``Shoot what!'' ``Please{\ldots} I'm just a kid{\ldots}'' Oh, hell. A kid. I bit the inside of my cheek to stave off the encroaching vomit. I could envision the bile on its rise from my ulcerated stomach. My hand shook. The figure groaned low again and my finger impulsively squeezed away at the trigger. Violence exploded once more, echoing through the tin-paneled warehouse. The figure received my bullet, still unsure of its identity, I watched its shadowed form waver in the shadows. ``No!'' The kid cried, his pubescent voice cracking with pain and disgust. He had dragged his body toward me. My gun hand fell limply to my side; I looked down at the kid with pity and shame. A gleaming snail trail of blood darkened the cement floor behind him. ``Why are you in here?'' The kids eyes were pale with death. You could almost hear the blood draining from him in sick little spurts. ``You shot the giraffe,'' he wailed, low. My attention snapped from the kid to the darkness in front of me. I squinted, deciphering the dark figure wavering before me. Its long neck gradually came into focus. I stepped closer to the beast. It was vomiting blood from its neck, muscular spasms shooting through the six foot long tube of meat; its long blue tongue drooped to the side flaccidly. Long eyelashes fluttered over its cow-like brown eyes. Woozy, the giraffe suddenly dropped to its knobby knees, its neck lolled dramatically to the side. The neck snapped over a row of container drums, folding thickly like a bag of sand. The sound reverberated through the hollow spaces in my bones. It wasn't likely to be forgotten, to abandon those spaces, any time soon. I clutched desperately at my stomach, trying not to vomit my liver and onion dinner all over the floor. I glanced at the kid. Exhalations escaped him in a long rattling breaths. He'd be a goner without help. ``Ah shit,'' my chest heaved. ``Should've listened to the kid, Bavarius.'' Sirens screamed toward the warehouse. From the wide doorway, the rain-slicked streets of the Empire City opened their arms to me. I pulled a Pall Mall from the emergency pack stashed in my pocket and lit it up, muttering to myself, the cigarette bouncing between my lips. ``New York. I ream her and ruin her, but the whore keeps taking me back.'' Red lights whirled closer. Suddenly, I was sobbing. %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% \chapter{Untitled} \by{ding dang doo} I awoke from my slumber. The breeze of wind gently blowing wind across my face. Sitting in the darkness, I thought of only one thing: Luke Bavarious. The name. Repeating throughout my head, puking it's mantra into my mind. Who was this man? I did not know, but I intended to find out. I lit a Pall Mall cigarette and proceeded to smoke it. Meanwhile, I dressed myself. Into the dark and dimly lit night I wandered, smoking a Pall Mall cigarette with my iips. I inhaled, and let my hate seethe. I exhaled and let my hatred for love grow. Luke Bavarious. The name echoed in my face. This name. A name like no other. I reached into my pants and gripped my Baretta, and let a long sigh of relief. Sometimes I forgot to put my Baretta in my pants. Tonight, I remembered to do it. Strolling down the street in the dimly lit night of darkness, I began to wander down the sidewalk. Luke Bavarious. Why? Was this part of my grim imagination? Was he the reason teachers and parents were afraid of me? This I had to find out. Finishing my Pall Mall cigarette, I crushed the butt of it against a newborn baby, and slowly walked down a dimly lit dark alley. I saw a shadowy figure of a man, or maybe it could've even been a leopard. He let out a gasp of shock and started to ran into the opposite direction. I quickly vomited and soon began chasing him. Chase him I did, and I ran as fast as a machine with cyborg legs. The chase was long and hard, and arduous. He ducked through alleyways and jumped rooftops, but I had the scent of blood and murder and puke in my nostrils, I was on his tail every step of the way. Until he stopped. I found myself at my lousy apartment. Empty cans of beer littered my floor. Numerous tissues surrounding my computer. The butts of endless Pall Mall cigarettes emptied into countless newborn babies. And he was standing in the corner. I cocked my head like a curious dog, and asked, ``Who are you? And why are we here?'' Suddenly, he turned around, Pall Mall cigarette in his mouth. Luke Bavarious. He chuckled and shot at me. And shot again. Then he shot me again. With a Baretta. Then he shot me with his Baretta. And as my neck puked blood from my neck and vomit spewed from every faucet in my apartment, I heard the words, ``Did you hear Micheal Jackson died?'' With my final breath, I sobbed, ``{\ldots}Don't stop{\ldots}till{\ldots}you get enough.'' %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% \chapter{AGAIN} \by{Dominic Bones} I sat on the edge of my bed, drinking a glass of water I had just gotten from the kitchen. My dog Bud was laying at the foot of the bed. I stared into the glass, watching my own reflection, and watching the reflection of the creature behind me. With a long face and empty eyes, and a mouth that could only be described as slender. It stared over my shoulder, it's hands at its sides. Sometimes I would think it was speaking to me, only to find that it was Bud whimpering. It always stared, yet when i turned I could not see it. when I closed my eyes it would be there, clear as day, yet when I opened them the creature would be gone. I could not explain it. The Dogs howls were going through the night sometimes. Why I could not say. Happened since I moved into this house. My girlfriend and child had left me because I would just lie awake at night. She said I had no emotion anymore. Said i should see a therapist. my kid said he loved me but said that he couldnt have a father that never helped him. he encouraged me to hug him and promise him I'd always be there and to leave the house with mommy. But he didn't really like that idea, so I didn't. Dog barked. Hear the name Luke. my dresser was an elegant wood paneling, and my floor had a lush red carpet. Sometimes he would seep onto it and make it seem black. i didn't know why, he just told me it would show me the way if i followed him. I always just sat on the bed though. The dog was scratching the bedpost now. heard the name Luke ringing in the back of my head. my glass of water was almost out. i looked out my window and saw him there, and he asked for me. i would just shake my head, as i had stopped spaeking. i had recieved a letter the other day that said i had to mkae my payments, but he told me it wouldnt be an issue. The dog attempted to lay on my lap. Heard ``Luke'', nothing but Luke and white noise. i told myself to go to sleep, but something was bothering me as if something was buried deep in my head. i kenw that i couldnt just take aspirin to get rid of it. i felt something at my foot but when i looekd down it wasnt there. my bathroom mirror could be seen in the crnoer of my eye, and he could be seen in the mirror. his fingers pointed at the bed, thuogh i didnt turn t see what he was pointing at. The dog jumped on the ground and stared at me. he came up to me and mvoed my hand. he put it on the dogs back and squeezed. i ddint know what was going on exactly but he asuserd me it wuold all be arlihgt. my hand ddint stop suqeezing for an hour. the dog didnt make any noise except the word ``Luke''. soon i had began laying down and fell asleep. i suddenly felt better. he had told me that i would soon be able to go to sleep. i remembered this feeling happening the day before my girlfriend left me. i fgiured that he just knew how to clam me down. i layed down and put my haed to rest. wehn the men came in the morning, i awkoe and walked down to the mess hlal with them. tehy dont think hes real. the dcotor said i was imagninig thnigs. she ddint know me thuogh. only he understood. soon i flet a relaxation in her office like lsat night,before i saw the lghit coming from the wnidow. he told me taht i cuold be in the lghit. but i ddint want to. i olny wanted to be wehre he guided me to. He spoke but I did not hear. atfer i stppoed suqeezing i haerd the men come in and guided me away. but it was oaky, because as long as i clsoed my eyes, i saw his fcae. what did he say his name was? {\em Luke Bavarius}. as i was dragged, soon i saw my snos face, and it was the same. Luke just tlod me it wuold all be alright. so i colsed my eyes, and dreamt of my childs face. %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%