\chapter{The Mansion of Horror} \by{rinski} Luke Bavarius stood before the haunted mansion of GhostRaven Mansion. Black bats circled above, haloing the yellow moon. Luke reached into his pocket. The cold steel of his Baretta reassured him. Legend had it the mansion contained untold riches. Luke liked the sound of that. Earlier that day a local kid had tried to stop Luke. ``Don't go to the haunted mansion. It's too dangerous. It kills people. It never loses.'' ``I think I can handle myself, kid.'' Luke said, smirking. {\em Thud!} Luke kicked the mansion's heavy wooden doors open. He was in a large living room, 50 feet wide. All the furniture was covered with ghostly white sheets and a chandelier hung ominously overhead. There were lit torches on the walls. Suddenly, all of the furniture exploded. Luke shielded his face with his arms. Splinters tore at his leather jacket. The splinters reformed into a giant wood golem. The golem surged to life. It's eyes glowed with arcane evil. Luke smirked. He grabbed a torch from the wall. He threw it. The wooden giant burst into blue flames. It burned as though it were made of tinder and lighter fluid. The giant fell to its knees in wooden agony and then unexploded back into furniture. The haunted white sheets flew back to again cover the furniture. ``Getting the treasure from this haunted mansion will be a breeze.'' Luke asserted, smirking. The next room was a gigantic ball room with chandeliers and a wooden floor. One wall was covered in old oil paintings. The other wall was a gigantic window with giant red curtains. He could see the garden. The hedges looked ominous. ``Probably plant monsters.'' Luke murmured. He took a step into the room. Suddenly, zombies were clawing their way out of the wooden floor. Their empty eye sockets were slick with green rot. It glinted sickly in the moon light. Luke's nostrils were attacked by the zombie's horrid stench. Then Luke was attacked by the zombies themselves. Luke pulled out his Baretta. He emptied a few bullets into the mushy heads of the advancing undead army. The bullet wounds oozed blood and pus but the zombies just kept coming. ``They just keep coming!'' Luke joked, smirking. He had to act fast. He ran around the zombies and their zombie holes so he wouldn't trip. Zombies dove at him. Luke dodged the deft attacks. Zombies dove left and right. Barely, Luke made it to the other side of the room. As soon as he stepped out of the room there was a flash. All the zombies disappeared and the floor grew back. The room looked exactly as it did initially. Luke was astonished. He stepped back into the room. Zombies poured from the floor like oozing pus. Luke stepped back. The zombies disappeared. Luke chuckled. He did this for one minute then moved to the next room. The next room was the kitchen. Immediately, all of the knives flew out of the drawers. The knives hovered lazily in the air. Then the knives flew at him. They cut through the air. Literally. Blood droplets condensed out of the air. Luke dodged out of the way of the knives attack. The knives flew past him into the meat locker, killing the monster that was hiding inside. The knives made quick work of the monster, then turned to attack Luke once again. Luke simply shut the meat locker's door. The knives clattered against the solid iron door. Luke smirked. Luke entered the hallway out of the kitchen and was immediately attacked by a giant spider monster. ``What the!'' Luke uttered. But before he'd even finished uttering, the spider lurched forward. It's poison jaws opened. They tried to clamp closed on Luke's arm. Luke dodged backwards as the jaws clamped shut. The jaws etched a wound in Luke's arm, but were unable to deliver their venomous payload. In one fluid motion Luke drew his Baretta. He shot two bullets into the spider's bulging bug eyes. Two bullet casings clattered on the floor. The wound belched forth a thick green blood. The blood hissed as it hit the floor, dissolving it. The spider recoiled. Its insectoid brain was riddled with pain and fear and two bullets. But it was too late. Luke grabbed a sword from the wall. He brought it down on the spider monster's neck. The head was cleanly sliced off of the twitching body. The spider collapsed in a heap of bloody legs. The wounds vomited their acidic syrup and the floor kept dissolving. ``I'd better get out of here.'' Luke intoned, smirking. As Luke was escaping down the hall, he saw a room filled to the brim with treasure. He stood there, mouth agape. He was going to be rich. He ran into the room. Suddenly, the room shimmered and disappeared. Luke fell into a void. He screamed. At the bottom of the void, as far as the eye could see in every direction, was an unspeakably horrid beast. It was made of mouths and eyestalks and tentacles. It covered the entire floor in every direction. Luke retched a scream. He tumbled towards the gaping maw of the horrible creature. There was no escape. As Luke fell, a figure appeared in front of him. It was the boy from before. ``The mansion never loses.'' The boy said, watching Luke fall. Luke choked on a sob. It was the last sound he ever made. As Luke fell into the giant open mouth, the monster started biting him lightning fast. The bites were so fast that the teeth broke the sound barrier. Luke was dead before he knew it. He exploded into bloody slices that fell down into the beast's stomach acid. ``The mansion never loses.'' The boy repeated. He smirked. Then he disappeared.