\chapauth{BoldFrankensteinMir}
\chapter{Johnny the Knifer}



I stopped short at the counter. I sat down. Coffee poured out the
coffee pot and into my cup, like a pot of brown bullets shooting
into my cup and splashing in coffee. The waitress was very pretty.
She said ``would you like some coffee''? My name is Luke Bavarious. I
like coffee. And I am a detective.



It was my favorite restaurant. It was on 756th street in Manhattan.
New York. The waitress was very pretty, and the coffee was just as
good. ``How do you like your coffee Luke Bavarious'' she said. ``Sweet
like you'' I winked. She winked back. There was something about the
way she winked at me and the way she poured my coffee. My heart
beat double the blood suddenly, but I was in control. In control of
my blood.



``How is that kid you have'' I said romantically. The waitress
blushed. ``Johnny is a good kid but I'm afraid he's falling in with
a bad crowd'' she cried. I comforted her, my shoulder soaking up her
sweet sad woman tears that she cried from those pretty eyes.



Suddenly, three men walked into the restaurant. ``Well Well Well
Luke Bavarious'' said the first man. He was horrible and tall and
ugliness all wrapped into a tall horrible suit. ``You better run
Luke Bavarious after you ruined our drug crime this morning!'' he
said. Then he said it again. With his guns. And his bullets.



I jumped behind the counter. The waitress cried ``don't let them
shoot the restaurant I have a kid'' so I jumped in front of the
counter. The mobsters cackled a sick crackling laugh that bled in
waves out of their toothy horror mouths. ``The great Luke Bavarious''
laughed Jimmy the Knifer. ``Hiding behind a woman! Laughable!'' he
said and proved it with more laughs.



``Not so fast!'' I yelled and reached for my sleek silver loaded
Beretta with my name engraved in the gun and on the bullets too. I
realized my gun was gone! I had to think fast.



``Not so fast!'' I yelled and grabbed the pot of coffee. I splashed
it at Jimmy the Knifer and his goons. The goons ran, missing the
terrible shower of deadly boiling coffee. The coffee splashed into
Jimmy the Knifer's hands and face. I recoiled in horrible terror as
he screamed.



``NO'' screamed Jimmy the Knifer. He fell to the ground, the tears of
pain mixing with the steaming sweet coffee as the veins in his
forehead popped open like firecrackers in hot coffee and tears.
Blood and tears and hair and coffee spilled into the coffee puddles
on the floor and he screamed as his skin went into the puddles too.
``NO'' he screamed again. ``NO''.



I turned to have my sandwich that I also ordered and the waitress
had brought to me before the mobsters came in. Tears were on her
face just as surprise was on mine because of hers. ``What's wrong
Suzie'' I said. ``We're in New York the city that never sleeps, of
course there's gonna be a little crime but I'm Luke
Bavarious''.



``NO!'' screamed Suzie. She ran to Jimmy the Knifer! What is
happening?



``I told you he was in with a bad crowd'' she sobbed through tears of
grieving for her dead mobster son. I recoiled in horror from my
sandwich. If I had known! But Jimmy the Knifer was not a
child!



``He looks older because of makeup so adults would take him
seriously!'' she cried at me. I looked now at Jimmy. A kid! The
makeup was melting off in the blood and coffee and boiled skin and
it was a kid! The sandwich dropped from my hands and the coffee pot
shattered all over my shoes also. How could I have known?



Jimmy the Knifer looked at me with blood eyes and tears coughed
from his dying words. ``Who's the big man now{\ldots} Luke{\ldots}
Bavarious{\ldots}'' he said, and in his hand was the baseball card I had
given his mom to give him for his birthday just a week before. That
made it even more incredibly sad.



``NO'' I screamed and they took me away for murder, on two counts of
homicidal killings. Johnny the Knifer{\ldots} and Johnny the Boy.