mirror of https://github.com/nealey/Horrors2
78 lines
2.9 KiB
TeX
78 lines
2.9 KiB
TeX
\chapauth{KryonikMessiah}
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\chapter{The Ninjas}
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Luke Bavarious was walking through a busy street, the landscape
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riddled with urban decay. A building here, windows shattered, foul
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smoke emitting from it's fetid chimney. A rusted out car
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there, looking as if it had been sitting there for a good decade or
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five. And all around was the constant buzz of midday traffic.
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Bavarious, however, had other plans on his mind, as he walked into
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a building. The building was tall{\ldots}.too tall.
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`This building is tall{\ldots} {\em too} tall', Bavarious
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thought to himself, one hand clutched to a Smith and Wesson .44 in
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his pants and the other holding a beer. Suddenly, out of the corner
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of his eyes, Bavarious saw a flash! As he turned around to
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investigate, a ninja appeared! ``Come on, you commie
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scum!'' said Bavarious, as he fired at the ninja. But the
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ninja cut the bullet in half! Bavarious jumped back and stared the
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ninja straight in the face as they began circling each other in
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this old, decrepit factory.
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Bavarious narrowed his eyes. These ninjas were a tricky sort. Just
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as he narrowed his eyes, a board broke over the back of his head.
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Turning around, Luke Bavarious glared at another ninja in anger,
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who was shivering with fear, a wet spot covering the crotch of his
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costume as he held the piece of a broken board. Bavarious snatched
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the pants right off the ninja, and turned around just in time as
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the other ninja was leaping at him with a karate kick. Bavarious
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wrapped the pants around his face, and he fell to the ground
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choking, but then the other ninja made his move!
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Bavarious found a knife in his shoulder, which began spraying green
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vomit and blood all over the Ninja, and he pulled it out and turned
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around, only to duck the broken board. He stabbed the knife into
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the ninja's hand, nailing it to the ground, and picked up the
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broken piece of board, driving it through the Ninja's head in
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one fell swoop, and it exploded into a spray of brains and blood!
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Luke Bavarious was on the lookout for more ninjas, when suddenly he
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saw two children, a little boy and a little girl, standing maybe
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ten feet away from him. A dead ninja was on the ground, and the two
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kids were happily tearing his eyeballs out of his skull. Luke
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Bavarious grimaced at this, when suddenly, he realized his gun was
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missing just as another ninja burst through the wall.
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That, however, was fine. The little girl picked up a pistol off the
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ground, which went un-noticed by the ninja, who sworded out his
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katana at great attack. Taking a chop at the little boy, he was
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stopped in his tracks as Luke Bavarious tossed a vomit covered
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pillow at him, which struck him in the face, and the little girl
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accidentally pulled the trigger, shooting the ninja square between
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his legs.
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The next day, all ninjas fled the city. Their three brothers in
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arms had fallen, and no ninja was mighty enough to stand up to Luke
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Bavarious. Children the world over rejoiced.
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The End
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