66 lines
2.7 KiB
Plaintext
66 lines
2.7 KiB
Plaintext
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[[!meta title="Internet Reiki"]]
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What is Reiki?
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--------------
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Reiki is like a good Swedish massage, but without any touching. A Reiki
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practitioner is able to channel energy through their palms and into your
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body, making you feel more energized and relaxed at the same time. In
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the past, Reiki has been done on bulky Reiki tables which must be
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carried from place to place, and appointments can be very expensive and
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time consuming.
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This is the first ever long-distance Reiki *web page*, which applies a
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Reiki treatment *over the Internet* while you work on other things.
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How does this work?
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-------------------
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I have run this web page through advanced software to calculate the
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*total entropy* and *message digest checksum* of the page itself. I
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have tuned the content of this page to match perfecty a digitized copy
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of a Reiki session. By its very nature, this web page is able to tap in
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to the boundless life energy sources surrounding you, the viewer, and
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focus them into your body.
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Does it really work?
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--------------------
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I am so confident that this program will work for you that I am willing
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to pay $5000 to anyone who can demonstrate in a peer-reviewed blind
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scientific study that this web page is any less effective than a session
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with a fully-trained Reiki practitioner.
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In layman's terms, <b>I'll pay you $5000 if this page can be proven to
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be any less effective than in-person Reiki.</b>
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How do I get started?
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This web page is *already* applying life energy to you as you read it!
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But to get the maximum benefit, please follow these simple instructions:
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1. Close your eyes.
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2. If you are sitting, put your hands in your lap or on the table. If
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you are standing, let them hang by your sides. If you are lying
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down, let your hands fall to your side on the surface you're lying
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on.
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3. Take slow, deep breaths, in through your nose, and out through your
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mouth. Try to visualize your body as an empty container, and feel
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the life energy entering into your body with every breath.
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4. Think about your body relaxing, starting with your toes, moving up to
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your feet, then legs, torso, neck, then down your arms to your
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fingertips. As you reach each body part, feel the tension leave as
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you relax it. As your muscles relax, the life energy will be able to
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more easily enter them. The energy has an intelligence that will
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guide it to the areas in most need of help.
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5. Try to stay this way for at least 5 minutes at first, working your
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way up to 20. Please do not go longer than 25 minutes, as your
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muscles may become imbued with the life energy and it may cause you
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to become lethargic, or even fall asleep! There is no permanent
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danger, of course, since the life energy is benevolent.
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