diff --git a/papers/clovis-afterparty.png b/papers/clovis-afterparty.png new file mode 100644 index 0000000..415df29 Binary files /dev/null and b/papers/clovis-afterparty.png differ diff --git a/papers/clovis-facebook.png b/papers/clovis-facebook.png new file mode 100644 index 0000000..e33f19b Binary files /dev/null and b/papers/clovis-facebook.png differ diff --git a/papers/clovis-score.png b/papers/clovis-score.png new file mode 100644 index 0000000..be9d437 Binary files /dev/null and b/papers/clovis-score.png differ diff --git a/papers/clovis-timing.png b/papers/clovis-timing.png new file mode 100644 index 0000000..0075d63 Binary files /dev/null and b/papers/clovis-timing.png differ diff --git a/papers/clovis-whores.png b/papers/clovis-whores.png new file mode 100644 index 0000000..eead564 Binary files /dev/null and b/papers/clovis-whores.png differ diff --git a/papers/dcpd.mdwn b/papers/dcpd.mdwn new file mode 100644 index 0000000..58008e3 --- /dev/null +++ b/papers/dcpd.mdwn @@ -0,0 +1,213 @@ +Title: Why I Am Refusing To NSO Any Games with Clovis + +I have an ax to grind with the Clovis roller derby team. +We have played a lot of games in the last two years, +have lost plenty of games at home and away, +but I have never left feeling as butthurt and angry as I am after our July 20 home game +against Clovis. + + +Summary +---------- + +The Los Alamos M'Atom Bombs have been playiny against other teams since early 2012. + +100% of the games we have played against Clovis have resulted in a serious injury +(requiring long-term medical attention and resulting in a roster reduction at future games). + +0% of the games we have played against any other team +(at least 8 teams) have resulted in a serious injury. + +I had previously refused to NSO any game with the player named Big Red +(previously with Amarillo, now with Clovis), +who caused our first injury. + +I am now refusing to participate in any game with the Clovis team. + +There are a few girls on the Clovis team who are fun to play with or against, +and would fit in easily with any of the other teams I love to help in any way I can. +But there are people on the team who are abrasive and dangerous, +and I don't feel the team is safe. +I'm clearly not alone in feeling this way, +which is how I know this isn't my problem. +It's Clovis's problem. + + +The Score +------------- + +![A Clovis fan questions the low score](clovis-score.png) + +I want to make it clear that I'm not mad about the score. + +At the end of the day, the score was 54 Clovis, 45 Los Alamos. +Anyone who follows Roller Derby should be surprised by this very low score. +But they should be less surprised when they hear there was only 22 minutes of +very interrupted gameplay. + +We cancelled due to rain. + +I'm not mad about this score. +It's not a game score, it's a snapshot of the score at 20 minutes into the first period, +and it's a 9-point spread, which is ½ of a *low-scoring* power jam. + +But I don't even care if the Bombs win. +They keep playing because they have fun, +and other teams keep playing the Bombs because they're a fun team to play. + +Playing Clovis is not fun. + + +Making The Most of Time +------------------- + +![A M'Atom Bomb explains the game was called off due to rain](clovis-timing.png) + +We spent 22 minutes playing Roller Derby, +20 minutes waiting for the rain to stop, +and 65 minutes in timeouts and official reviews. + +We play outdoors, and have to cancel due to weather. +Our very first home game got snowed out. +So when a flash flood warning was issued 5 minutes before our +July 20 home game against Clovis, +we asked our fans to shout out "no rain". + +Clovis used their official review less than 10 minutes into the first period's clock. +Less than 15 minutes in, +I called an official timeout because all four referees were engaged in the middle of the track with the Clovis bench. + +Less than 20 minutes in, +I called an official timeout because a Los Alamos skater was writhing on the ground in pain. + +The "no rain" chants didn't work. A little over 20 minutes into the first period,'s clock, +we called a 20 minute delay to see if the rain would stop. +It did stop, long enough for us to run about 1:20 of the second period, +at which point we had to call an end to the game. + +All told, we spent almost as much time in timeouts as we did playing the game. + +The first period began at 6:40. It was called off due to rain at 7:35, +with about 9:30 left on the period clock. +If we had only had the 3 team timeouts, +we could have finished the first period, +halftime, and been 5 minutes in to the second period before it started raining. + +The second period was supposed to start at 7:45. +I wasn't watching the clock at that point, +but according to a friend, we didn't actually start until 8:15, +30 minutes later. +We spent those 30 minutes listening to skaters argue about +whether or not we should play the remaining 9 minutes on the first period. + +All told, the game ran 1 hour and 35 minutes, from 6:40 until 8:15 +Two 30-minute jams and a 20-minute halftime would have been +1 hour and 20 minutes. +Add in 6 team timeouts for 1 hour and 29 minutes. + +Of course, we didn't know at the time that the rain would coincide exactly +with when halftime was scheduled. +But we did waste a tremendous amount of time standing around arguing. + + +League Relations +---------------- + +![A Clovis fan insults the Los Alamos team, earning a wink from Clovis's official facebook page](clovis-whores.png) + +I edited the screen shot to show the conversation, which is: + + Fan: Madame Bombs would have been a better name. + Clovis Roller Derby: I see what you did there ;-) + Fan: I am full of ideas. + +If you don't get the joke, the Los Alamos "M'Atom Bombs" is a play on words: +"Madam" is a polite formal address for a woman, +which the team altered to pay homage to Los Alamos being the birthplace of the nuclear bomb. +This fan is suggesting the word be spelled "Madam", +the title given to a Brothel (prostitution house) owner. +The official team account then acknowledges the joke with a wink. + +I know things are different in Texas and eastern New Mexico, +and people get very passionate about sports. +But I have many professional associates in Lubbock and Amarillo, +and they are all decent, courteous people, with a strong moral compass and sense of pride, +so I know this isn't a cultural issue. + +Joking that the other team is a bunch of whores doesn't engender good feelings, +and doesn't reflect well on the community you've built. + + + +After Party +--------- + +![A Clovis fan unhappy about our after-party](clovis-afterparty.png) + +The Los Alamos Derby Dames and Animas Roller Girls (Farmington) have an excellent relationship. +They are the founding members of the "New Mexico Chupacabras" regional travel team, +and regularly drive out to each others' games just to sit in the bleachers and cheer. +At the very first Los Alamos / Farmington game, the after-party was in a dive bar +(the only place in town still open after the game). +The Bombs brought home-made chili in Crock pots and bags of Fritos. +It was awesome, and began a love affair between the two teams. + +For our July 20 after party, +we were planning to open up the skating rink, +play music with a DJ light show, +and have pizza delivered. +It rained, and I had to break down the PA system and lights, +but we still had pizza and drinks. + +Apparently this wasn't good enough for Clovis, +so they had their own after party, +and then got mad that we didn't come. +(we were busy breaking down and checking on our injured skater in the ER) + +---- + +Clovis was (justifiably) unhappy that they didn't get to skate much, +so the Bombs offered to scrimmage with them during their morning practice the next day. + +2 Clovis skaters showed up. +You ladies were great, +and I'm glad I got the opportunity to hang out with you. +Good luck with your team. + +I've gotten word that some of the other Clovis skaters decided to stay at the hotel instead. + +We tried our best. + + +In Closing +------------ + +Your overly-agressive playing, +obnoxious attitude, +and decision to support your fans bad-mouthing us, +combine to not only make me feel justified, +but downright tingly at the thought of never officiating another game with Clovis. + +My life is too short to waste it on dealing with nasty people. +The Clovis skaters feeling embarrassed by the actions of a few team-mates +need to decide how many boycotts you're willing to let them bring you. + + +![The entire Facebook thread](clovis-facebook.png) + +About Me +---------- + +I am the head NSO for Los Alamos. +I volunteer for WFTDA and non-WFTDA leagues all around the area. +I wrote the free LADD scoreboard software used by most of New Mexico, +Southern Colorado, and spots in Utah, Arizona, California, Alberta, +and more. +I wrote the free woozle.org penalty timer app for Android, +with almost 1000 active users. +At 2013's Roller Con, + will be unveiling free plans for a build-it-yourself electronic scoreboard, +and for a build-it-yourself derby-specific stopwatch. +I'm also co-presenting, with Evil Lucian from Moab, +best practices for small town derby teams to run a bout with limited staff. + diff --git a/poems/index.mdwn b/poems/index.mdwn index 4214d52..92b21e7 100644 --- a/poems/index.mdwn +++ b/poems/index.mdwn @@ -4,6 +4,7 @@ If wishes were horses And poets were kings I guess I'd still have my day job. +* [Goat on the Water](goat.html) * [Ducks](ducks.html) * [My Goldfish Wish](goldfish.html) * [Poem For A Moonlit Lake With City Lights Reflecting](lake.html)