diff --git a/papers/coats.jpg b/papers/coats.jpg new file mode 100644 index 0000000..966998d Binary files /dev/null and b/papers/coats.jpg differ diff --git a/papers/gifts.mdwn b/papers/gifts.mdwn new file mode 100644 index 0000000..5303990 --- /dev/null +++ b/papers/gifts.mdwn @@ -0,0 +1,87 @@ +Title: The Incredible Burden of Gifts + +We have this weekly ritual in the house where we go through and find old stuff we aren't using, +and put it in a pile by the door. +It's become a permanent pile, +not because we aren't getting rid of the things, +but because we're constantly putting stuff there. +It's become part of weekly house cleaning. + +Since last Christmas, +we've agreed as a family that a lot of the stuff will be more valuable if we never even take it out of the box. +So now there are regularly one or two unopened boxes of stuff in the pile. +Right now there is an unopened electronic puzzle Ginnie won at a science conference. +This means I can finally write this essay, +because there's nothing in the pile any of our relatives sent us, +so I don't have to worry about somebody stumbling across this and getting upset that we're not even opening their gift. + +I don't know when, +but at some point in my lifetime we went from not having enough, +to having too much. +It got to where it was easy to fulfill your needs, +and then easy to fulfill your desires, +and at that point, gifts became a management problem. +If there was something you wanted, +you just went out and bought it. +But twice a year (at least), +a couple dozen people wanted to know what *they* could go buy and mail to you. +So you have to try and dream up some stuff that you didn't want enough to go get yourself, +and put it on a list, +so that people who care about you can go buy it, +put it in a box, +but that box in a bigger box, +then ship it to you. + +In an effort to show that you really care about a person, +you might decide you'll make them something. +That's really sweet, +but it's still a problem. + +![My Coats](coats.jpg) + +Here's a photo of my 13 coats. +I gathered them all up as I was going through trying to make room in my closet for more gifts, +because I knew I was going to have to get rid of some of them. +I can even tell you the story behind each one: + +1. The University of Washington gave me this to thank me for flying up to run a 2-day computer security exercise. +1. Amy sewed this for me for our first Christmas together. +1. My company gave this to me for our annual Christmas gift. +1. Amy bought me this at Glacier National Monument. +1. Ginnie bought me this with her own money when she went to Canada on her own at the age of 10. +1. Hollie sewed this for me for a Christmas present +1. I bought this for myself because I wanted a classy-looking wool winter coat. +1. My dad gave me this +1. I used a ton this when Amy and I got our first apartment together. +1. Got this for doing a 200-mile ride from Seattle to Portland with Kellie. +1. Company holiday gift +1. Wore this every day bike commuting in Seattle +1. Bicycled 209 miles in one day on my 30th birthday, got this jacket + +I only ever wear two of these. +I don't need 13 fucking coats. +Which ones do I get rid of? +With one exception, they all mean something to me. +Some of them are even hand-made, +or represent a real sacrifice in some way. +Getting rid of them dishonors the intentions of the person who gave them to me. + +After three hours wringing my hands about it, +I wound up deciding that I could get rid of all but four of them. +I kept the one Amy made, +the one Ginnie bought, +and the two that I actually wear. +I feel really, horribly bad about getting rid of some of the rest, +even though I know the people who gave them to me would think that was silly. + +But I wish people would understand this causes serious stress. +Ginnie has been known to cry for hours about having run out of space to store gifts. +You can say all you want to that you don't care what we do with them, +but *we* care what we do with them, +and when you burden us with these things it makes us mad. + +I don't think you want to make us mad, but that's what happens. + +Please stop giving us gifts. + +