Title: Bohnendämmerung

Two rules.  One Bean.  Five Hundred ways to Win.
================================================

The ultimate German game  
By [Cheapass Games](http://cheapass.com/)

Rule 1: Do not think about the bean.  
Rule 2: Do not bisect the bean.

You can win with the longest road, the shortest road, or the most medium
road; the most balanced herd; the fastest hay wain (fair days only); the
most gregarious senator, the most accurate clock, or the closest ratio
of tadpoles to frogs (inverted) during any rainy period.  You can win by
controlling the most of two commodities, but not of three.  Victory goes
to the fastest ship (laden), the fastest ship (unladen), or the two
ships (one of each color) with the highest combined speed.  You can win
by digging the deepest mine; raising the fluffiest herd; or by finishing
first in last race, last in first race, or first and last in the most
races overall.  You can win with the largest rank of followers at the
end of the Insurrection Phase, the friendliest chef, or the least
talkative ghost.  If you are the first player to reach the top of the
building with both your blimbers, or if your climbers are the only ones
left on the building, you win.  The holder of the "Eternal Darkness"
token at the end of any round (unliss that player is Grandmother) wins.
Control of Nlort, Quimper, and Nice for one month (excluding Cunnery
Phase and not including Midnight Madness); joint monopolies in Space
Gas, Brie, and Garbage; or the tallest pile of pigs are also conditions
of victory.  (Pigs in excess of total brake strength are deducted from
tallest pile, obviously.)  You can win by creating the table with the
most legs; the most central city; the most non-central city; the planet
with the highest gravity; or by collecting the largest variety of
grains.  Swimming is good for you.  Each day spent in prison without
escaping: deduct 16 Points.  Failure to say "Hail to the King" when a
King is played: Deduct 4 Points.  Highest annual fluctuation each round
in relative value of all (controlled) local currencies combined as
measured by the particular net present value equation given in the last
line of the top card of the discard pile, not counting Banking cards
(unless the King is on or within one space of your most populous
territory): score as value.  You can win by accumulating the most rice;
taking the most tourists on the same bus; removing the last stone from
the "wheel of eternity" board; retiring more than three vampires during
the Carnival; taking the longest turn; earning the most points; or by
taking the most moves back.  The player with the closest pre-game guess
to sum of car numbers in second and third place in all races combined
(without going over) earns 21 points.  If a player has paid to "Ride the
Pony" at least once before the Investment Phase of the third banking
day, that player wins once for each card he has collected from each
deck.  Woodsman's Festival Bonus: the player with the most unused
Sovereigns (i.e., unspent for at least three turns, track with counters)
earns 5 Points for each merchant at the fair selling soup, wine, goats,
or decorative hats, and a triple bonus if any of these items contain
elements from that player's most recent Market Visit (please do not
combine bonuses for multiple entries in the same section, and ignore
foyers and vestibules when calculating square feet).  You can with with
the cleanest monkey, the smallest enzyme, the most absurd victory
conditions, or the most chutzpah.  If there is a tie for most
simultaneous victories, the game gose to the player with the longest
hair.  If there is a tie for longest hair, the game goes to the player
with the most cards in hand.  If there is a tie for most cards in hand,
the game goes to the player with the moistest feet.  If there is a tie
for moistest feet, you may wish to score again: you probably missed
something.