horrors2

KryonikMessiah.The_Ninjas.tex

 1\chapauth{KryonikMessiah}
 2\chapter{The Ninjas}
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 8Luke Bavarious was walking through a busy street, the landscape
 9riddled with urban decay. A building here, windows shattered, foul
10smoke emitting from it's fetid chimney. A rusted out car
11there, looking as if it had been sitting there for a good decade or
12five. And all around was the constant buzz of midday traffic.
13Bavarious, however, had other plans on his mind, as he walked into
14a building. The building was tall{\ldots}.too tall.
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18`This building is tall{\ldots} {\em too} tall', Bavarious
19thought to himself, one hand clutched to a Smith and Wesson .44 in
20his pants and the other holding a beer. Suddenly, out of the corner
21of his eyes, Bavarious saw a flash! As he turned around to
22investigate, a ninja appeared! ``Come on, you commie
23scum!'' said Bavarious, as he fired at the ninja. But the
24ninja cut the bullet in half! Bavarious jumped back and stared the
25ninja straight in the face as they began circling each other in
26this old, decrepit factory.
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30Bavarious narrowed his eyes. These ninjas were a tricky sort. Just
31as he narrowed his eyes, a board broke over the back of his head.
32Turning around, Luke Bavarious glared at another ninja in anger,
33who was shivering with fear, a wet spot covering the crotch of his
34costume as he held the piece of a broken board. Bavarious snatched
35the pants right off the ninja, and turned around just in time as
36the other ninja was leaping at him with a karate kick. Bavarious
37wrapped the pants around his face, and he fell to the ground
38choking, but then the other ninja made his move!
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42Bavarious found a knife in his shoulder, which began spraying green
43vomit and blood all over the Ninja, and he pulled it out and turned
44around, only to duck the broken board. He stabbed the knife into
45the ninja's hand, nailing it to the ground, and picked up the
46broken piece of board, driving it through the Ninja's head in
47one fell swoop, and it exploded into a spray of brains and blood!
48Luke Bavarious was on the lookout for more ninjas, when suddenly he
49saw two children, a little boy and a little girl, standing maybe
50ten feet away from him. A dead ninja was on the ground, and the two
51kids were happily tearing his eyeballs out of his skull. Luke
52Bavarious grimaced at this, when suddenly, he realized his gun was
53missing just as another ninja burst through the wall.
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57That, however, was fine. The little girl picked up a pistol off the
58ground, which went un-noticed by the ninja, who sworded out his
59katana at great attack. Taking a chop at the little boy, he was
60stopped in his tracks as Luke Bavarious tossed a vomit covered
61pillow at him, which struck him in the face, and the little girl
62accidentally pulled the trigger, shooting the ninja square between
63his legs.
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67The next day, all ninjas fled the city. Their three brothers in
68arms had fallen, and no ninja was mighty enough to stand up to Luke
69Bavarious. Children the world over rejoiced.
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73The End
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