horrors2

reasonable_form.The_Six_Si.tex

 1\chapauth{reasonable form}
 2\chapter{The Six Sides of Evil}
 3
 4
 5Barney Flann woke up with a start. With a cube in his mind. A cube
 6he had never seen before. Looking at his leg he saw his leg hair
 7barely coming in, because he was 8 years old and his age was
 8between 5 and 10.
 9
10``Barney it's time to stop dreaming!'' Barney's father, Ara\-gorn,
11laboriously squeaked.
12
13And then he saw the rectangle that he would instantly recognize in
14any situation. Any situation where he was not terrified. And since
15Barney was never terrified, any situation.
16
17But now, Barney had become terrified.
18
19Instantly, he sprung into action to repair the rectangular hole in
20the sewer under his house.
21
22``Not now father I love you too much!'' Barney suggested to his
23father whose veins in his right arm were solidifying into vomit. He
24pulled out his auxyacetylene welding torch that he kept on him so
25he could weld, and used it to burn the blood that was coming
26through the pipe into a solid mass that would fix the pipe.
27
28``That was my mothers blood!'' he yelled to nobody in particular
29except for himself he realized in a sudden realization of deja
30vu.
31
32As he ran up the stairs to confirm his suspicions that his mother's
33body had deflated as the blood poured down the drain. He noticed
34another rectangle, but he quickly put it out of his mind and soon
35he didn't notice it again. Now that he was in his mothers room he
36could see he was correct, and he saw her lifeless body scream with
37anguish as it realized its plight.
38
39``{\bf The horror!}'' he yelped.
40
41But then he noticed something else{\ldots}
42
43``{\bf The horror!}'' he yelped as he saw that there was a rectangular
44sized hole in her juggular.
45
46Could it be that the 3 rectangles he had seen were part of
47something bigger? Could it be that they would form{\ldots} the CUBE?
48Barney would soon find out that this was the correct case. He
49rushed back to see his dying father and discovered him infused with
50life energy.
51
52``Father, why are you so energized?'' Barney gulped.
53
54``{\bf Because I have seen the mountain top and upon is are
55  rectangles!}''  His father, Aragorn, who was named Aragorn after a
56particular event led his father to read Animal Farm, babbled
57incessantly.
58
59``No it doesn't have to be this way!'' Barney said as Barney pulled
60out his Ferrari branded knife and slashed a triangle into his
61father's heart so that all of the rectangular juices could flow
62safely out. ``thank you son i love you'' his father said as his last
63dying words.
64
65And then, his father died.
66
67``What shall I do now? How can I stop this infection of
68rectangles!''
69
70But quickly Barney remembered his grandmother, who they had locked
71up in their basement ever since her death. He recalled the
72basements location and ran to the door. But there was an evil thing
73on the door, a rectangle! He ripped out his Saigo auto shotgun
74loaded with fourty four magnum cartridges and prepared to fight the
75fight.
76
77``This is the most powerful 'handgun' in the world hehe'' he muttered
78as he fired the shotgun one handed in the direction of the door.
79Instantly, kidney stones rolled out of the door, but the kidney
80stones were in the shape of rectangles. It too was horrid. Too
81horrid to imagine was possible. But it was that horrid.
82
83And as the millions of rectangles combined to form cubes he knew
84that his evil grandmother was the source of it all!
85
86``Who could have created these cubes?'' he recoiled from the vomit
87flowing from his mouth and left ear as he realized it was his
88grandmother.
89
90And he realized he could not stop the cubes, that he too would be
91lost in the face of ev-
92
93``{\bf Because I have seen the mountain top and upon is are
94rectangles}!''
95 
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