56 lines
2.2 KiB
Markdown
56 lines
2.2 KiB
Markdown
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---
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title: High School Reunion
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date: 2023-09-26
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---
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> ... many of us have simply moved on from high school,
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> and feel no need to revisit the awkward hallways of our youth.
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- [Laura Tartocci, Ph.D.](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/you-can-t-sit-us/202203/should-you-go-your-high-school-reunion)
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---
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A few people from high school keep reaching out to me,
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year after year,
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asking if I'm going to the reunion this year.
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I am not.
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Every time this question is asked,
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I feel compelled to explain my reasoning,
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in the kind of overly-introspective detail that was the hallmark of my high school existence.
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*I am no longer like this*,
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it only happens when someone from high school brings up high school in the context of high school.
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It feels like being in high school all over again.
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And that's just answering an email!
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I shudder to think how it would feel to be surrounded by the same people,
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in the same environment.
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I don't want to go back to the person I was in high school.
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I like the person I am now,
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and I acknowledge that high school me and college me were necessary steps toward adult me.
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But I have no desire to revisit actually being that person,
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and it's clear that every time I even approach that context,
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I slip right back into that place.
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Going to the reunion would not be healthy for me.
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It would not help me "close out" any embarassment or hurt feelings.
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It would not provide me an opportunity to "make up" for the things I still regret, 30+ years later.
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People I think would make good friends now would continue to be inaccessible to me,
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*because they have moved on*.
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Old crushes that I forgot in college would still trigger a spark,
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and a few days isn't enough time to work past that.
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My bullies might make some attempt to apologize, which would be awkward,
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or they might not, which would be aggravating.
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People I got along with back then, yeah, I'd still get along with them.
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*But most of those people are already keeping in touch with me!*
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I can't see this playing out any other way than the old cliques re-forming.
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That is not my idea of a good time.
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I understand that this calculation is different for everyone.
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But
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I personally have nothing to gain from going to the reunion,
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and a whole lot to lose.
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