Bring back reiki, the world needs it

toys/reiki.md

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+Title: Neale's Internet Reiki Page
+
+What is Reiki?
+--------------
+
+Reiki is like a good Swedish massage, but without any touching.  A Reiki
+practitioner is able to channel energy through their palms and into your
+body, making you feel more energized and relaxed at the same time.  In
+the past, Reiki has been done on bulky Reiki tables which must be
+carried from place to place, and appointments can be very expensive and
+time consuming.
+
+This is the first ever long-distance Reiki *web page*, which applies a
+Reiki treatment *over the Internet* while you work on other things.
+
+
+How does this work?
+-------------------
+
+I have run this web page through advanced software to calculate the
+*total entropy* and *message digest checksum* of the page itself.  I
+have tuned the content of this page to match perfecty a digitized copy
+of a Reiki session.  By its very nature, this web page is able to tap in
+to the boundless life energy sources surrounding you, the viewer, and
+focus them into your body.
+
+
+How do I get started?
+---------------------
+
+This web page is *already* applying life energy to you as you read it!
+But to get the maximum benefit, please follow these simple instructions:
+
+1. Close your eyes.
+2. If you are sitting, put your hands in your lap or on the table.  If
+   you are standing, let them hang by your sides.  If you are lying
+   down, let your hands fall to your side on the surface you're lying
+   on.
+3. Take slow, deep breaths, in through your nose, and out through your
+   mouth.  Try to visualize your body as an empty container, and feel
+   the life energy entering into your body with every breath.
+4. Think about your body relaxing, starting with your toes, moving up to
+   your feet, then legs, torso, neck, then down your arms to your
+   fingertips.  As you reach each body part, feel the tension leave as
+   you relax it.  As your muscles relax, the life energy will be able to
+   more easily enter them.  The energy has an intelligence that will
+   guide it to the areas in most need of help.
+5. Try to stay this way for at least 5 minutes at first, working your
+   way up to 20.  Please do not go longer than 25 minutes, as your
+   muscles may become imbued with the life energy and it may cause you
+   to become lethargic, or even fall asleep!  There is no permanent
+   danger, of course, since the life energy is benevolent.