Essay about Clovis Roller Derby

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Neale Pickett 2013-07-21 15:22:52 -06:00
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Title: Why I Am Refusing To NSO Any Games with Clovis
I have an ax to grind with the Clovis roller derby team.
We have played a lot of games in the last two years,
have lost plenty of games at home and away,
but I have never left feeling as butthurt and angry as I am after our July 20 home game
against Clovis.
Summary
----------
The Los Alamos M'Atom Bombs have been playiny against other teams since early 2012.
100% of the games we have played against Clovis have resulted in a serious injury
(requiring long-term medical attention and resulting in a roster reduction at future games).
0% of the games we have played against any other team
(at least 8 teams) have resulted in a serious injury.
I had previously refused to NSO any game with the player named Big Red
(previously with Amarillo, now with Clovis),
who caused our first injury.
I am now refusing to participate in any game with the Clovis team.
There are a few girls on the Clovis team who are fun to play with or against,
and would fit in easily with any of the other teams I love to help in any way I can.
But there are people on the team who are abrasive and dangerous,
and I don't feel the team is safe.
I'm clearly not alone in feeling this way,
which is how I know this isn't my problem.
It's Clovis's problem.
The Score
-------------
![A Clovis fan questions the low score](clovis-score.png)
I want to make it clear that I'm not mad about the score.
At the end of the day, the score was 54 Clovis, 45 Los Alamos.
Anyone who follows Roller Derby should be surprised by this very low score.
But they should be less surprised when they hear there was only 22 minutes of
very interrupted gameplay.
We cancelled due to rain.
I'm not mad about this score.
It's not a game score, it's a snapshot of the score at 20 minutes into the first period,
and it's a 9-point spread, which is ½ of a *low-scoring* power jam.
But I don't even care if the Bombs win.
They keep playing because they have fun,
and other teams keep playing the Bombs because they're a fun team to play.
Playing Clovis is not fun.
Making The Most of Time
-------------------
![A M'Atom Bomb explains the game was called off due to rain](clovis-timing.png)
We spent 22 minutes playing Roller Derby,
20 minutes waiting for the rain to stop,
and 65 minutes in timeouts and official reviews.
We play outdoors, and have to cancel due to weather.
Our very first home game got snowed out.
So when a flash flood warning was issued 5 minutes before our
July 20 home game against Clovis,
we asked our fans to shout out "no rain".
Clovis used their official review less than 10 minutes into the first period's clock.
Less than 15 minutes in,
I called an official timeout because all four referees were engaged in the middle of the track with the Clovis bench.
Less than 20 minutes in,
I called an official timeout because a Los Alamos skater was writhing on the ground in pain.
The "no rain" chants didn't work. A little over 20 minutes into the first period,'s clock,
we called a 20 minute delay to see if the rain would stop.
It did stop, long enough for us to run about 1:20 of the second period,
at which point we had to call an end to the game.
All told, we spent almost as much time in timeouts as we did playing the game.
The first period began at 6:40. It was called off due to rain at 7:35,
with about 9:30 left on the period clock.
If we had only had the 3 team timeouts,
we could have finished the first period,
halftime, and been 5 minutes in to the second period before it started raining.
The second period was supposed to start at 7:45.
I wasn't watching the clock at that point,
but according to a friend, we didn't actually start until 8:15,
30 minutes later.
We spent those 30 minutes listening to skaters argue about
whether or not we should play the remaining 9 minutes on the first period.
All told, the game ran 1 hour and 35 minutes, from 6:40 until 8:15
Two 30-minute jams and a 20-minute halftime would have been
1 hour and 20 minutes.
Add in 6 team timeouts for 1 hour and 29 minutes.
Of course, we didn't know at the time that the rain would coincide exactly
with when halftime was scheduled.
But we did waste a tremendous amount of time standing around arguing.
League Relations
----------------
![A Clovis fan insults the Los Alamos team, earning a wink from Clovis's official facebook page](clovis-whores.png)
I edited the screen shot to show the conversation, which is:
Fan: Madame Bombs would have been a better name.
Clovis Roller Derby: I see what you did there ;-)
Fan: I am full of ideas.
If you don't get the joke, the Los Alamos "M'Atom Bombs" is a play on words:
"Madam" is a polite formal address for a woman,
which the team altered to pay homage to Los Alamos being the birthplace of the nuclear bomb.
This fan is suggesting the word be spelled "Madam",
the title given to a Brothel (prostitution house) owner.
The official team account then acknowledges the joke with a wink.
I know things are different in Texas and eastern New Mexico,
and people get very passionate about sports.
But I have many professional associates in Lubbock and Amarillo,
and they are all decent, courteous people, with a strong moral compass and sense of pride,
so I know this isn't a cultural issue.
Joking that the other team is a bunch of whores doesn't engender good feelings,
and doesn't reflect well on the community you've built.
After Party
---------
![A Clovis fan unhappy about our after-party](clovis-afterparty.png)
The Los Alamos Derby Dames and Animas Roller Girls (Farmington) have an excellent relationship.
They are the founding members of the "New Mexico Chupacabras" regional travel team,
and regularly drive out to each others' games just to sit in the bleachers and cheer.
At the very first Los Alamos / Farmington game, the after-party was in a dive bar
(the only place in town still open after the game).
The Bombs brought home-made chili in Crock pots and bags of Fritos.
It was awesome, and began a love affair between the two teams.
For our July 20 after party,
we were planning to open up the skating rink,
play music with a DJ light show,
and have pizza delivered.
It rained, and I had to break down the PA system and lights,
but we still had pizza and drinks.
Apparently this wasn't good enough for Clovis,
so they had their own after party,
and then got mad that we didn't come.
(we were busy breaking down and checking on our injured skater in the ER)
----
Clovis was (justifiably) unhappy that they didn't get to skate much,
so the Bombs offered to scrimmage with them during their morning practice the next day.
2 Clovis skaters showed up.
You ladies were great,
and I'm glad I got the opportunity to hang out with you.
Good luck with your team.
I've gotten word that some of the other Clovis skaters decided to stay at the hotel instead.
We tried our best.
In Closing
------------
Your overly-agressive playing,
obnoxious attitude,
and decision to support your fans bad-mouthing us,
combine to not only make me feel justified,
but downright tingly at the thought of never officiating another game with Clovis.
My life is too short to waste it on dealing with nasty people.
The Clovis skaters feeling embarrassed by the actions of a few team-mates
need to decide how many boycotts you're willing to let them bring you.
![The entire Facebook thread](clovis-facebook.png)
About Me
----------
I am the head NSO for Los Alamos.
I volunteer for WFTDA and non-WFTDA leagues all around the area.
I wrote the free LADD scoreboard software used by most of New Mexico,
Southern Colorado, and spots in Utah, Arizona, California, Alberta,
and more.
I wrote the free woozle.org penalty timer app for Android,
with almost 1000 active users.
At 2013's Roller Con,
will be unveiling free plans for a build-it-yourself electronic scoreboard,
and for a build-it-yourself derby-specific stopwatch.
I'm also co-presenting, with Evil Lucian from Moab,
best practices for small town derby teams to run a bout with limited staff.

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@ -4,6 +4,7 @@ If wishes were horses
And poets were kings
I guess I'd still have my day job.
* [Goat on the Water](goat.html)
* [Ducks](ducks.html)
* [My Goldfish Wish](goldfish.html)
* [Poem For A Moonlit Lake With City Lights Reflecting](lake.html)