Essay about Clovis Roller Derby

papers/dcpd.mdwn

@@ -0,0 +1,213 @@
+Title: Why I Am Refusing To NSO Any Games with Clovis
+
+I have an ax to grind with the Clovis roller derby team.
+We have played a lot of games in the last two years,
+have lost plenty of games at home and away,
+but I have never left feeling as butthurt and angry as I am after our July 20 home game
+against Clovis.
+
+
+Summary
+----------
+
+The Los Alamos M'Atom Bombs have been playiny against other teams since early 2012.
+
+100% of the games we have played against Clovis have resulted in a serious injury
+(requiring long-term medical attention and resulting in a roster reduction at future games).
+
+0% of the games we have played against any other team
+(at least 8 teams) have resulted in a serious injury.
+
+I had previously refused to NSO any game with the player named Big Red
+(previously with Amarillo, now with Clovis),
+who caused our first injury.
+
+I am now refusing to participate in any game with the Clovis team.
+
+There are a few girls on the Clovis team who are fun to play with or against,
+and would fit in easily with any of the other teams I love to help in any way I can.
+But there are people on the team who are abrasive and dangerous,
+and I don't feel the team is safe.
+I'm clearly not alone in feeling this way,
+which is how I know this isn't my problem.
+It's Clovis's problem.
+
+
+The Score
+-------------
+
+![A Clovis fan questions the low score](clovis-score.png)
+
+I want to make it clear that I'm not mad about the score.
+
+At the end of the day, the score was 54 Clovis, 45 Los Alamos.
+Anyone who follows Roller Derby should be surprised by this very low score.
+But they should be less surprised when they hear there was only 22 minutes of
+very interrupted gameplay.
+
+We cancelled due to rain.
+
+I'm not mad about this score.
+It's not a game score, it's a snapshot of the score at 20 minutes into the first period,
+and it's a 9-point spread, which is ½ of a *low-scoring* power jam.
+
+But I don't even care if the Bombs win.
+They keep playing because they have fun,
+and other teams keep playing the Bombs because they're a fun team to play.
+
+Playing Clovis is not fun.
+
+
+Making The Most of Time
+-------------------
+
+![A M'Atom Bomb explains the game was called off due to rain](clovis-timing.png)
+
+We spent 22 minutes playing Roller Derby,
+20 minutes waiting for the rain to stop,
+and 65 minutes in timeouts and official reviews.
+
+We play outdoors, and have to cancel due to weather.
+Our very first home game got snowed out.
+So when a flash flood warning was issued 5 minutes before our
+July 20 home game against Clovis,
+we asked our fans to shout out "no rain".
+
+Clovis used their official review less than 10 minutes into the first period's clock.
+Less than 15 minutes in,
+I called an official timeout because all four referees were engaged in the middle of the track with the Clovis bench.
+
+Less than 20 minutes in,
+I called an official timeout because a Los Alamos skater was writhing on the ground in pain.
+
+The "no rain" chants didn't work. A little over 20 minutes into the first period,'s clock,
+we called a 20 minute delay to see if the rain would stop.
+It did stop, long enough for us to run about 1:20 of the second period,
+at which point we had to call an end to the game.
+
+All told, we spent almost as much time in timeouts as we did playing the game.
+
+The first period began at 6:40. It was called off due to rain at 7:35,
+with about 9:30 left on the period clock.
+If we had only had the 3 team timeouts,
+we could have finished the first period,
+halftime, and been 5 minutes in to the second period before it started raining.
+
+The second period was supposed to start at 7:45.
+I wasn't watching the clock at that point,
+but according to a friend, we didn't actually start until 8:15,
+30 minutes later.
+We spent those 30 minutes listening to skaters argue about
+whether or not we should play the remaining 9 minutes on the first period.
+
+All told, the game ran 1 hour and 35 minutes, from 6:40 until 8:15 
+Two 30-minute jams and a 20-minute halftime would have been
+1 hour and 20 minutes.
+Add in 6 team timeouts for 1 hour and 29 minutes.
+
+Of course, we didn't know at the time that the rain would coincide exactly
+with when halftime was scheduled.
+But we did waste a tremendous amount of time standing around arguing.
+
+
+League Relations
+----------------
+
+![A Clovis fan insults the Los Alamos team, earning a wink from Clovis's official facebook page](clovis-whores.png)
+
+I edited the screen shot to show the conversation, which is:
+
+	Fan: Madame Bombs would have been a better name.
+	Clovis Roller Derby: I see what you did there ;-)
+	Fan: I am full of ideas.
+
+If you don't get the joke, the Los Alamos "M'Atom Bombs" is a play on words: 
+"Madam" is a polite formal address for a woman,
+which the team altered to pay homage to Los Alamos being the birthplace of the nuclear bomb.
+This fan is suggesting the word be spelled "Madam",
+the title given to a Brothel (prostitution house) owner.
+The official team account then acknowledges the joke with a wink.
+
+I know things are different in Texas and eastern New Mexico,
+and people get very passionate about sports.
+But I have many professional associates in Lubbock and Amarillo,
+and they are all decent, courteous people, with a strong moral compass and sense of pride,
+so I know this isn't a cultural issue.
+
+Joking that the other team is a bunch of whores doesn't engender good feelings,
+and doesn't reflect well on the community you've built.
+
+
+
+After Party
+---------
+
+![A Clovis fan unhappy about our after-party](clovis-afterparty.png)
+
+The Los Alamos Derby Dames and Animas Roller Girls (Farmington) have an excellent relationship.
+They are the founding members of the "New Mexico Chupacabras" regional travel team,
+and regularly drive out to each others' games just to sit in the bleachers and cheer.
+At the very first Los Alamos / Farmington game, the after-party was in a dive bar
+(the only place in town still open after the game).
+The Bombs brought home-made chili in Crock pots and bags of Fritos.
+It was awesome, and began a love affair between the two teams.
+
+For our July 20 after party,
+we were planning to open up the skating rink,
+play music with a DJ light show,
+and have pizza delivered.
+It rained, and I had to break down the PA system and lights,
+but we still had pizza and drinks.
+
+Apparently this wasn't good enough for Clovis,
+so they had their own after party,
+and then got mad that we didn't come.
+(we were busy breaking down and checking on our injured skater in the ER)
+
+----
+
+Clovis was (justifiably) unhappy that they didn't get to skate much,
+so the Bombs offered to scrimmage with them during their morning practice the next day.
+
+2 Clovis skaters showed up.
+You ladies were great,
+and I'm glad I got the opportunity to hang out with you.
+Good luck with your team.
+
+I've gotten word that some of the other Clovis skaters decided to stay at the hotel instead.
+
+We tried our best.
+
+
+In Closing
+------------
+
+Your overly-agressive playing,
+obnoxious attitude,
+and decision to support your fans bad-mouthing us,
+combine to not only make me feel justified,
+but downright tingly at the thought of never officiating another game with Clovis.
+
+My life is too short to waste it on dealing with nasty people.
+The Clovis skaters feeling embarrassed by the actions of a few team-mates
+need to decide how many boycotts you're willing to let them bring you.
+
+
+![The entire Facebook thread](clovis-facebook.png)
+
+About Me
+----------
+
+I am the head NSO for Los Alamos.
+I volunteer for WFTDA and non-WFTDA leagues all around the area.
+I wrote the free LADD scoreboard software used by most of New Mexico,
+Southern Colorado, and spots in Utah, Arizona, California, Alberta,
+and more.
+I wrote the free woozle.org penalty timer app for Android,
+with almost 1000 active users.
+At 2013's Roller Con, 
+ will be unveiling free plans for a build-it-yourself electronic scoreboard,
+and for a build-it-yourself derby-specific stopwatch.
+I'm also co-presenting, with Evil Lucian from Moab,
+best practices for small town derby teams to run a bout with limited staff.
+

poems/index.mdwn

@@ -4,6 +4,7 @@ If wishes were horses
 And poets were kings  
 I guess I'd still have my day job.
 
+* [Goat on the Water](goat.html)
 * [Ducks](ducks.html)
 * [My Goldfish Wish](goldfish.html)
 * [Poem For A Moonlit Lake With City Lights Reflecting](lake.html)