more wording tweaks

This commit is contained in:
Neale Pickett 2013-07-22 00:41:05 -05:00
parent 8f7b93ed2e
commit fd060ff536
1 changed files with 11 additions and 9 deletions

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@ -28,14 +28,14 @@ Safety
The Los Alamos M'Atom Bombs have been playing against other teams since early 2012.
100% of the two games they have played against Clovis have resulted in a serious injury
(requiring long-term medical attention and resulting in a roster reduction at future games).
100% of the two games they have played against Clovis have resulted in a serious injury,
needing long-term medical attention and resulting in a roster reduction at future games.
0% of the dozens of games they have played against every other team
(at least 8 teams) have resulted in a serious injury.
I had previously refused to NSO any game with the player named Big Red
(previously with Amarillo, now with Clovis),
I had already refused to NSO any game with the player named Big Red
(formerly with Amarillo, now with Clovis),
who caused the Bombs' first injury.
Previously,
the Las Cruces referee team and the Los Alamos head ref
@ -140,11 +140,11 @@ The official team account then acknowledges the joke with a wink.
I know things are different in Texas and eastern New Mexico,
and people get very passionate about sports.
But I have many professional associates in Lubbock and Amarillo,
But I have many professional associates in Amarillo and Lubbock,
and they are all decent, courteous people, with a strong moral compass and sense of pride,
so I know this isn't a cultural issue.
Joking that the other team is a bunch of whores doesn't engender good feelings,
Joking that the other team is made up of prostitutes doesn't engender good feelings,
and doesn't reflect well on the community you've built.
@ -185,9 +185,11 @@ You ladies were great,
and I'm glad I got the opportunity to hang out with you.
Good luck with your team.
I've gotten word that some of the other Clovis skaters decided to stay at the hotel instead.
I've gotten word that some of the other Clovis skaters stayed at the hotel instead.
The Bombs tried their best.
Even though the Bombs tried their best to be good hosts,
the Clovis team and their fans decided the appropriate response
was to ditch us and then complain on Facebook.
In Closing
@ -218,7 +220,7 @@ and more.
I wrote the free woozle.org penalty timer app for Android,
with almost 1000 active users.
At 2013's Roller Con,
will be unveiling free plans for a build-it-yourself electronic scoreboard,
I will be unveiling free plans for a build-it-yourself electronic scoreboard,
and for a build-it-yourself derby-specific stopwatch.
I'm also co-presenting, with Evil Lucian from Moab,
best practices for small town derby teams to run a bout with limited staff.