mirror of https://github.com/nealey/vail.git
468 lines
26 KiB
JavaScript
468 lines
26 KiB
JavaScript
/*
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These were converted, and lightly edited, from the `fortunes-min` Debian package,
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which came with the following copyright:
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Copyright (c) 1991 The Regents of the University of California.
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All rights reserved.
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Redistribution and use in source and binary forms, with or without
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modification, are permitted provided that the following conditions
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are met:
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1. Redistributions of source code must retain the above copyright
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notice, this list of conditions and the following disclaimer.
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2. Redistributions in binary form must reproduce the above copyright
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notice, this list of conditions and the following disclaimer in the
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documentation and/or other materials provided with the distribution.
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3. [ Deleted. see :-
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ftp://ftp.cs.berkeley.edu/pub/4bsd/README.Impt.License.Change
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]
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4. Neither the name of the University nor the names of its contributors
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may be used to endorse or promote products derived from this software
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without specific prior written permission.
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THIS SOFTWARE IS PROVIDED BY THE REGENTS AND CONTRIBUTORS ``AS IS'' AND
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ANY EXPRESS OR IMPLIED WARRANTIES, INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED TO, THE
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IMPLIED WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY AND FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE
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ARE DISCLAIMED. IN NO EVENT SHALL THE REGENTS OR CONTRIBUTORS BE LIABLE
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FOR ANY DIRECT, INDIRECT, INCIDENTAL, SPECIAL, EXEMPLARY, OR CONSEQUENTIAL
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DAMAGES (INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED TO, PROCUREMENT OF SUBSTITUTE GOODS
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OR SERVICES; LOSS OF USE, DATA, OR PROFITS; OR BUSINESS INTERRUPTION)
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HOWEVER CAUSED AND ON ANY THEORY OF LIABILITY, WHETHER IN CONTRACT, STRICT
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LIABILITY, OR TORT (INCLUDING NEGLIGENCE OR OTHERWISE) ARISING IN ANY WAY
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OUT OF THE USE OF THIS SOFTWARE, EVEN IF ADVISED OF THE POSSIBILITY OF
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SUCH DAMAGE.
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*/
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export const fortunes = [
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"A day for firm decisions! Or is it?",
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"A few hours grace before the madness begins again.",
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"A gift of a flower will soon be made to you.",
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"A long-forgotten loved one will appear soon. Buy the negatives at any price.",
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"A tall, dark stranger will have more fun than you.",
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"A visit to a fresh place will bring strange work.",
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"A visit to a strange place will bring fresh work.",
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"A vivid and creative mind characterizes you.",
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"Abandon the search for Truth; settle for a good fantasy.",
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"Accent on helpful side of your nature. Drain the moat.",
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"Advancement in position.",
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"After your lover has gone you will still have PEANUT BUTTER!",
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"Afternoon very favorable for romance. Try a single person for a change.",
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"Alimony and bribes will engage a large share of your wealth.",
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"All the troubles you have will pass away very quickly.",
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"Among the lucky, you are the chosen one.",
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"An avocado-tone refrigerator would look good on your resume.",
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"An exotic journey in downtown Newark is in your future.",
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"Another good night not to sleep in a eucalyptus tree.",
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"Are you a turtle?",
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"Are you ever going to do the dishes? Or will you change your major to biology?",
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"Are you making all this up as you go along?",
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"Are you sure the back door is locked?",
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"Artistic ventures highlighted. Rob a museum.",
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"Avert misunderstanding by calm, poise, and balance.",
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"Avoid gunfire in the bathroom tonight.",
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"Avoid reality at all costs.",
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"Bank error in your favor. Collect $200.",
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"Be careful! Is it classified?",
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"Be careful! UGLY strikes 9 out of 10!",
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"Be cautious in your daily affairs.",
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"Be cheerful while you are alive. -- Phathotep, 24th Century B.C.",
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"Be different: conform.",
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"Be free and open and breezy! Enjoy! Things won't get any better so get used to it.",
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"Be security conscious -- National defense is at stake.",
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"Beauty and harmony are as necessary to you as the very breath of life.",
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"Best of all is never to have been born. Second best is to die soon.",
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"Better hope the life-inspector doesn't come around while you have your life in such a mess.",
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"Beware of a dark-haired man with a loud tie.",
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"Beware of a tall black man with one blond shoe.",
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"Beware of a tall blond man with one black shoe.",
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"Beware of Bigfoot!",
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"Beware of low-flying butterflies.",
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"Beware the one behind you.",
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"Blow it out your ear.",
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"Break into jail and claim police brutality.",
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"Bridge ahead. Pay troll.",
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"Caution: breathing may be hazardous to your health.",
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"Caution: Keep out of reach of children.",
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"Celebrate Hannibal Day this year. Take an elephant to lunch.",
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"Change your thoughts and you change your world.",
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"Cheer Up! Things are getting worse at a slower rate.",
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"Chess tonight.",
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"Chicken Little only has to be right once.",
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"Chicken Little was right.",
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"Cold hands, no gloves.",
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"Communicate! It can't make things any worse.",
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"Courage is your greatest present need.",
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"Day of inquiry. You will be subpoenaed.",
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"Do not overtax your powers.",
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"Do not sleep in a eucalyptus tree tonight.",
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"Do nothing unless you must, and when you must act -- hesitate.",
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"Do something unusual today. Pay a bill.",
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"Do what comes naturally. Seethe and fume and throw a tantrum.",
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"Domestic happiness and faithful friends.",
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"Don't feed the bats tonight.",
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"Don't get stuck in a closet -- wear yourself out.",
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"Don't get to bragging.",
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"Don't go surfing in South Dakota for a while.",
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"Don't hate yourself in the morning -- sleep till noon.",
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"Don't kiss an elephant on the lips today.",
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"Don't let your mind wander -- it's too little to be let out alone.",
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"Don't look back, the lemmings are gaining on you.",
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"Don't look now, but the man in the moon is laughing at you.",
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"Don't look now, but there is a multi-legged creature on your shoulder.",
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"Don't plan any hasty moves. You'll be evicted soon anyway.",
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"Don't read any sky-writing for the next two weeks.",
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"Don't read everything you believe.",
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"Don't relax! It's only your tension that's holding you together.",
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"Don't tell any big lies today. Small ones can be just as effective.",
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"Don't worry so loud, your roommate can't think.",
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"Don't Worry, Be Happy. -- Meher Baba",
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"Don't you feel more like you do now than you did when you came in?",
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"Don't you wish you had more energy... or less ambition?",
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"Everything that you know is wrong, but you can be straightened out.",
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"Everything will be just tickety-boo today.",
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"Excellent day for putting Slinkies on an escalator.",
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"Excellent day to have a rotten day.",
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"Excellent time to become a missing person.",
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"Executive ability is prominent in your make-up.",
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"Exercise caution in your daily affairs.",
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"Expect a letter from a friend who will ask a favor of you.",
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"Expect the worst, it's the least you can do.",
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"Fine day for friends. So-so day for you.",
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"Fine day to work off excess energy. Steal something heavy.",
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"Future looks spotty. You will spill soup in late evening.",
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"Generosity and perfection are your everlasting goals.",
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"Give him an evasive answer.",
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"Give thought to your reputation. Consider changing name and moving to a new town.",
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"Give your very best today. Heaven knows it's little enough.",
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"Go to a movie tonight. Darkness becomes you.",
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"Good day for a change of scene. Repaper the bedroom wall.",
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"Good day for overcoming obstacles. Try a steeplechase.",
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"Good day to deal with people in high places; particularly lonely stewardesses.",
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"Good day to let down old friends who need help.",
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"Good news from afar can bring you a welcome visitor.",
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"Good news. Ten weeks from Friday will be a pretty good day.",
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"Good night to spend with family, but avoid arguments with your mate's new lover.",
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"Green light in A.M. for new projects. Red light in P.M. for traffic tickets.",
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"Hope that the day after you die is a nice day.",
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"If you can read this, you're too close.",
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"If you learn one useless thing every day, in a single year you'll learn 365 useless things.",
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"If you sow your wild oats, hope for a crop failure.",
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"If you stand on your head, you will get footprints in your hair.",
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"If you think last Tuesday was a drag, wait till you see what happens tomorrow!",
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"If your life was a horse, you'd have to shoot it.",
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"In the stairway of life, you'd best take the elevator.",
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"Increased knowledge will help you now. Have mate's phone bugged.",
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"Is that really YOU that is reading this?",
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"Is this really happening?",
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"It may or may not be worthwhile, but it still has to be done.",
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"It was all so different before everything changed.",
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"It's all in the mind, ya know.",
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"It's lucky you're going so slowly, because you're going in the wrong direction.",
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"Just because the message may never be received does not mean it is not worth sending.",
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"Just to have it is enough.",
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"Keep emotionally active. Cater to your favorite neurosis.",
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"Keep it short for pithy sake.",
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"Lady Luck brings added income today. Lady friend takes it away tonight.",
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"Learn to pause -- or nothing worthwhile can catch up to you.",
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"Let me put it this way: today is going to be a learning experience.",
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"Life is to you a dashing and bold adventure.",
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"Live in a world of your own, but always welcome visitors.",
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"Living your life is a task so difficult, it has never been attempted before.",
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"Long life is in store for you.",
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"Look afar and see the end from the beginning.",
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"Love is in the offing. Be affectionate to one who adores you.",
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"Make a wish, it might come true.",
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"Many changes of mind and mood; do not hesitate too long.",
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"Never be led astray onto the path of virtue.",
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"Never commit yourself! Let someone else commit you.",
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"Never give an inch!",
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"Never look up when dragons fly overhead.",
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"Never reveal your best argument.",
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"Next Friday will not be your lucky day. As a matter of fact, you don't have a lucky day this year.",
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"Of course you have a purpose -- to find a purpose.",
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"People are beginning to notice you. Try dressing before you leave the house.",
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"Perfect day for scrubbing the floor and other exciting things.",
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"Questionable day. Ask somebody something.",
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"Reply hazy, ask again later.",
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"Save energy: be apathetic.",
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"Ships are safe in harbor, but they were never meant to stay there.",
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"Slow day. Practice crawling.",
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"Snow Day -- stay home.",
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"So this is it. We're going to die.",
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"So you're back... about time...",
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"Someone is speaking well of you.",
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"Someone is speaking well of you. How unusual!",
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"Someone whom you reject today, will reject you tomorrow.",
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"Stay away from flying saucers today.",
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"Stay away from hurricanes for a while.",
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"Stay the curse.",
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"That secret you've been guarding, isn't.",
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"The time is right to make new friends.",
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"There is a 20% chance of tomorrow.",
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"There is a fly on your nose.",
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"There was a phone call for you.",
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"There will be big changes for you but you will be happy.",
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"Things will be bright in P.M. A cop will shine a light in your face.",
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"Think twice before speaking, but don't say \"think think click click\".",
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"This life is yours. Some of it was given to you; the rest, you made yourself.",
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"This will be a memorable month -- no matter how hard you try to forget it.",
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"Time to be aggressive. Go after a tattooed Virgo.",
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"Today is National Existential Ennui Awareness Day.",
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"Today is the first day of the rest of the mess.",
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"Today is the first day of the rest of your life.",
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"Today is the last day of your life so far.",
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"Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.",
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"Today is what happened to yesterday.",
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"Tomorrow will be cancelled due to lack of interest.",
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"Tomorrow, this will be part of the unchangeable past but fortunately, it can still be changed today.",
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"Tomorrow, you can be anywhere.",
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"Tonight you will pay the wages of sin; Don't forget to leave a tip.",
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"Tonight's the night: Sleep in a eucalyptus tree.",
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"Troubled day for virgins over 16 who are beautiful and wealthy and live in eucalyptus trees.",
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"Truth will out this morning. (Which may really mess things up.)",
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"Try the Moo Shu Pork. It is especially good today.",
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"Try to get all of your posthumous medals in advance.",
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"Try to have as good a life as you can under the circumstances.",
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"Try to value useful qualities in one who loves you.",
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"Tuesday After Lunch is the cosmic time of the week.",
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"Tuesday is the Wednesday of the rest of your life.",
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"What happened last night can happen again.",
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"While you recently had your problems on the run, they've regrouped and are making another attack.",
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"Write yourself a threatening letter and pen a defiant reply.",
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"You are a bundle of energy, always on the go.",
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"You are a fluke of the universe; you have no right to be here.",
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"You are a very redundant person, that's what kind of person you are.",
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"You are always busy.",
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"You are as I am with You.",
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"You are capable of planning your future.",
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"You are confused; but this is your normal state.",
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"You are deeply attached to your friends and acquaintances.",
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"You are destined to become the commandant of the fighting men of the department of transportation.",
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"You are dishonest, but never to the point of hurting a friend.",
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"You are fairminded, just and loving.",
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"You are farsighted, a good planner, an ardent lover, and a faithful friend.",
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"You are fighting for survival in your own sweet and gentle way.",
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"You are going to have a new love affair.",
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"You are magnetic in your bearing.",
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"You are not dead yet. But watch for further reports.",
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"You are number 6! Who is number one?",
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"You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.",
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"You are scrupulously honest, frank, and straightforward. Therefore you have few friends.",
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"You are sick, twisted and perverted. I like that in a person.",
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"You are so boring that when I see you my feet go to sleep.",
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"You are standing on my toes.",
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"You are taking yourself far too seriously.",
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"You are the only person to ever get this message.",
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"You are wise, witty, and wonderful, but you spend too much time reading this sort of trash.",
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"You attempt things that you do not even plan because of your extreme stupidity.",
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"You can create your own opportunities this week. Blackmail a senior executive.",
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"You can do very well in speculation where land or anything to do with dirt is concerned.",
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"You can rent this space for only $5 a week.",
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"You could live a better life, if you had a better mind and a better body.",
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"You definitely intend to start living sometime soon.",
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"You dialed 5483.",
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"You display the wonderful traits of charm and courtesy.",
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"You don't become a failure until you're satisfied with being one.",
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"You enjoy the company of other people.",
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"You feel a whole lot more like you do now than you did when you used to.",
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"You fill a much-needed gap.",
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"You get along very well with everyone except animals and people.",
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"You had some happiness once, but your parents moved away, and you had to leave it behind.",
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"You have a deep appreciation of the arts and music.",
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"You have a deep interest in all that is artistic.",
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"You have a reputation for being thoroughly reliable and trustworthy. A pity that it's totally undeserved.",
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"You have a strong appeal for members of the opposite sex.",
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"You have a strong appeal for members of your own sex.",
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"You have a strong desire for a home and your family interests come first.",
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"You have a truly strong individuality.",
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"You have a will that can be influenced by all with whom you come in contact.",
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"You have an ability to sense and know higher truth.",
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"You have an ambitious nature and may make a name for yourself.",
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"You have an unusual equipment for success. Be sure to use it properly.",
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"You have an unusual magnetic personality. Don't walk too close to metal objects which are not fastened down.",
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"You have an unusual understanding of the problems of human relationships.",
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"You have been selected for a secret mission.",
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"You have Egyptian flu: you're going to be a mummy.",
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"You have had a long-term stimulation relative to business.",
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"You have literary talent that you should take pains to develop.",
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"You have many friends and very few living enemies.",
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"You have no real enemies.",
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"You have taken yourself too seriously.",
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"You have the body of a 19 year old. Please return it before it gets wrinkled.",
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"You have the capacity to learn from mistakes. You'll learn a lot today.",
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"You have the power to influence all with whom you come in contact.",
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"You like to form new friendships and make new acquaintances.",
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"You look like a million dollars. All green and wrinkled.",
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"You look tired.",
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"You love peace.",
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"You love your home and want it to be beautiful.",
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"You may be gone tomorrow, but that doesn't mean that you weren't here today.",
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"You may be infinitely smaller than some things, but you're infinitely larger than others.",
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"You may be recognized soon. Hide.",
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"You may get an opportunity for advancement today. Watch it!",
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"You may worry about your hair-do today, but tomorrow much peanut butter will be sold.",
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"You need more time; and you probably always will.",
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"You need no longer worry about the future. This time tomorrow you'll be dead.",
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"You never hesitate to tackle the most difficult problems.",
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"You never know how many friends you have until you rent a house on the beach.",
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"You now have Asian Flu.",
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"You own a dog, but you can only feed a cat.",
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"You plan things that you do not even attempt because of your extreme caution.",
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"You possess a mind not merely twisted, but actually sprained.",
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"You prefer the company of the opposite sex, but are well liked by your own.",
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"You recoil from the crude; you tend naturally toward the exquisite.",
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"You seek to shield those you love and you like the role of the provider.",
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"You shall be rewarded for a dastardly deed.",
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"You should emulate your heroes, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.",
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"You should go home.",
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"You single-handedly fought your way into this hopeless mess.",
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"You teach best what you most need to learn.",
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"You too can wear a nose mitten.",
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"You two ought to be more careful--your love could drag on for years and years.",
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"You will always get the greatest recognition for the job you least like.",
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"You will always have good luck in your personal affairs.",
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"You will attract cultured and artistic people to your home.",
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"You will be a winner today. Pick a fight with a four-year-old.",
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"You will be advanced socially, without any special effort on your part.",
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"You will be aided greatly by a person whom you thought to be unimportant.",
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"You will be attacked by a beast who has the body of a wolf, the tail of a lion, and the face of Donald Duck.",
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"You will be audited by the Internal Revenue Service.",
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"You will be awarded a medal for disregarding safety in saving someone.",
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"You will be awarded some great honor.",
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"You will be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize... posthumously.",
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"You will be called upon to help a friend in trouble.",
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"You will be divorced within a year.",
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"You will be given a post of trust and responsibility.",
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"You will be held hostage by a radical group.",
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"You will be honored for contributing your time and skill to a worthy cause.",
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"You will be imprisoned for contributing your time and skill to a bank robbery.",
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"You will be married within a year, and divorced within two.",
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"You will be married within a year.",
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"You will be misunderstood by everyone.",
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"You will be recognized and honored as a community leader.",
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"You will be reincarnated as a toad; and you will be much happier.",
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"You will be run over by a beer truck.",
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"You will be run over by a bus.",
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"You will be singled out for promotion in your work.",
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"You will be successful in love.",
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"You will be surprised by a loud noise.",
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"You will be surrounded by luxury.",
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"You will be the last person to buy a Chrysler.",
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"You will be the victim of a bizarre joke.",
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"You will be Told about it Tomorrow. Go Home and Prepare Thyself.",
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"You will be traveling and coming into a fortune.",
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"You will be winged by an anti-aircraft battery.",
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"You will become rich and famous unless you don't.",
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"You will contract a rare disease.",
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"You will engage in a profitable business activity.",
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"You will experience a strong urge to do good; but it will pass.",
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"You will feel hungry again in another hour.",
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"You will forget that you ever knew me.",
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"You will gain money by a fattening action.",
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"You will gain money by a speculation or lottery.",
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"You will gain money by an illegal action.",
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"You will gain money by an immoral action.",
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"You will get what you deserve.",
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"You will give someone a piece of your mind, which you can ill afford.",
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"You will have a long and boring life.",
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"You will have a long and unpleasant discussion with your supervisor.",
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"You will have domestic happiness and faithful friends.",
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"You will have good luck and overcome many hardships.",
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"You will have long and healthy life.",
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"You will hear good news from one you thought unfriendly to you.",
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"You will inherit millions of dollars.",
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"You will inherit some money or a small piece of land.",
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"You will live a long, healthy, happy life and make bags of money.",
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"You will live to see your grandchildren.",
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"You will lose your present job and have to become a door to door mayonnaise salesman.",
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"You will meet an important person who will help you advance professionally.",
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"You will never know hunger.",
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"You will not be elected to public office this year.",
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"You will obey or molten silver will be poured into your ears.",
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"You will outgrow your usefulness.",
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"You will overcome the attacks of jealous associates.",
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"You will pass away very quickly.",
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"You will pay for your sins. If you have already paid, please disregard this message.",
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"You will pioneer the first Martian colony.",
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"You will probably marry after a very brief courtship.",
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"You will reach the highest possible point in your business or profession.",
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"You will receive a legacy which will place you above want.",
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"You will remember something that you should not have forgotten.",
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"You will soon forget this.",
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"You will soon meet a person who will play an important role in your life.",
|
|
"You will step on the night soil of many countries.",
|
|
"You will stop at nothing to reach your objective, but only because your brakes are defective.",
|
|
"You will triumph over your enemy.",
|
|
"You will visit the Dung Pits of Glive soon.",
|
|
"You will win success in whatever calling you adopt.",
|
|
"You will wish you hadn't.",
|
|
"You work very hard. Don't try to think as well.",
|
|
"You worry too much about your job. Stop it. You are not paid enough to worry.",
|
|
"You would if you could but you can't so you won't.",
|
|
"You'd like to do it instantaneously, but that's too slow.",
|
|
"You'll be called to a post requiring ability in handling groups of people.",
|
|
"You'll be sorry...",
|
|
"You'll feel devilish tonight. Toss dynamite caps under a flamenco dancer's heel.",
|
|
"You'll feel much better once you've given up hope.",
|
|
"You'll never be the man your mother was!",
|
|
"You'll never see all the places, or read all the books, but fortunately, they're not all recommended.",
|
|
"You'll wish that you had done some of the hard things when they were easier to do.",
|
|
"You're a card which will have to be dealt with.",
|
|
"You're almost as happy as you think you are.",
|
|
"You're at the end of the road again.",
|
|
"You're being followed. Cut out the hanky-panky for a few days.",
|
|
"You're currently going through a difficult transition period called \"Life.\"",
|
|
"You're definitely on their list. The question to ask next is what list it is.",
|
|
"You're growing out of some of your problems, but there are others that you're growing into.",
|
|
"You're not my type. For that matter, you're not even my species!",
|
|
"You're ugly and your mother dresses you funny.",
|
|
"You're working under a slight handicap. You happen to be human.",
|
|
"You've been leading a dog's life. Stay off the furniture.",
|
|
"Your aim is high and to the right.",
|
|
"Your aims are high, and you are capable of much.",
|
|
"Your analyst has you mixed up with another patient. Don't believe a thing he tells you.",
|
|
"Your best consolation is the hope that the things you failed to get weren't really worth having.",
|
|
"Your boss climbed the corporate ladder, wrong by wrong.",
|
|
"Your boss is a few sandwiches short of a picnic.",
|
|
"Your boyfriend takes chocolate from strangers.",
|
|
"Your business will assume vast proportions.",
|
|
"Your business will go through a period of considerable expansion.",
|
|
"Your depth of comprehension may tend to make you lax in worldly ways.",
|
|
"Your domestic life may be harmonious.",
|
|
"Your fly might be open (but don't check it just now).",
|
|
"Your heart is pure, and your mind clear, and your soul devout.",
|
|
"Your ignorance cramps my conversation.",
|
|
"Your life would be very empty if you had nothing to regret.",
|
|
"Your love life will be happy and harmonious.",
|
|
"Your love life will be... interesting.",
|
|
"Your lover will never wish to leave you.",
|
|
"Your lucky color has faded.",
|
|
"Your lucky number has been disconnected.",
|
|
"Your lucky number is 3552664958674928. Watch for it everywhere.",
|
|
"Your mode of life will be changed for the better because of good news soon.",
|
|
"Your mode of life will be changed for the better because of new developments.",
|
|
"Your motives for doing whatever good deed you may have in mind will be misinterpreted by somebody.",
|
|
"Your nature demands love and your happiness depends on it.",
|
|
"Your object is to save the world, while still leading a pleasant life.",
|
|
"Your own qualities will help prevent your advancement in the world.",
|
|
"Your present plans will be successful.",
|
|
"Your reasoning is excellent -- it's only your basic assumptions that are wrong.",
|
|
"Your reasoning powers are good, and you are a fairly good planner.",
|
|
"Your sister swims out to meet troop ships.",
|
|
"Your society will be sought by people of taste and refinement.",
|
|
"Your step will soil many countries.",
|
|
"Your supervisor is thinking about you.",
|
|
"Your talents will be recognized and suitably rewarded.",
|
|
"Your temporary financial embarrassment will be relieved in a surprising manner.",
|
|
"Your true value depends entirely on what you are compared with.",
|
|
]
|
|
|
|
/**
|
|
* Return a randomly-chosen fortune.
|
|
*/
|
|
export function GetFortune() {
|
|
return fortunes[Math.floor(Math.random() * fortunes.length)]
|
|
}
|